RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior.

RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (Full Version)

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veronicaofML -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:17:41 AM)
i got $20 says you expected me to jump in here and say thank you...didntcha.?

la90066 -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:21:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML i got $20 says you expected me to jump in here and say thank you...didntcha.? You'd lose that bet... Sorry, didn't expect ANYTHING in return for the compliment. (GASP?!!)

yourMissTress -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:21:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you Hello there.[:)] Was just wandering what types of Rewards Do You as Masters, Mistresses, and Switches give to Your Subs/Slaves for good Behavior?[:D] I actually got a chance to choose.[:)]. Good behavior is expected of my subs. I don't reward anyone for doing what's expected of them. I do recognize good behavior. If a sub is only doing what's expected of him in order to get something from me, no matter what it is, I consider that to be unacceptable behavior (topping from the bottom). I do whatever needs to be done to discourage bad behavior.

veronicaofML -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:25:11 AM)
I do whatever needs to be done to discourage bad behavior. ========== i am curious what do YOU ...CALL.......bad..............behavior? having their own opinions and feelings and voicing them? sticking up for their morals, principles and convictions? being able to tell YOU when they think You are doing something that may be labeled as You being used? telling You something for Your own good? using, tough-love? what IS bad to YOU? please? i really need to know. thanks

veronicaofML -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:26:54 AM)
You'd lose that bet... Sorry, didn't expect ANYTHING in return for the compliment. (GASP?!!) ========= then WHY are you "gasping?" did i shock you? evidently you expected...something .....other than what i said,...huh? you did have..........at least...'a' expectation, didntcha?

yourMissTress -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:35:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML I do whatever needs to be done to discourage bad behavior. ========== i am curious what do YOU ...CALL.......bad..............behavior? having their own opinions and feelings and voicing them? sticking up for their morals, principles and convictions? being able to tell YOU when they think You are doing something that may be labeled as You being used? telling You something for Your own good? using, tough-love? what IS bad to YOU? please? i really need to know. thanks Bad behavior to me is disobeying an order, constantly being tardy, not following through with assignments on a regular basis and things of that nature. I don't know if you've not paid any attention to my previous posts or simply gotten the wrong impression of me, but I would not consider anyone being truthful and honest with me bad behavior. I absolutely encourage free exchange of ideas and prefer a sub with a mind of his own. I enjoy a spirited debate with an intelligent person and like to surround myself with just such people.

la90066 -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:36:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML You'd lose that bet... Sorry, didn't expect ANYTHING in return for the compliment. (GASP?!!) ========= then WHY are you "gasping?" did i shock you? evidently you expected...something .....other than what i said,...huh? you did have..........at least...'a' expectation, didntcha? The "Gasp" was YOU -- not believing I didn't (and still don't) expect anything in return for the compliment. As in, "GASP... Ok, I guess he really didn't expect anything in return?!!" Anyway, on with the rest of the thread... I expect nothing from you -- really! [:)]

veronicaofML -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 11:39:49 AM)
not paid any attention to my previous posts ! ------- i dont follow people around and be nosy. and thanks for Your answer!

veronicaofML -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 12:11:08 PM)
for all here------ tell ya what if you ever;;; do anything for anyone...and then throw it back in their face later...then ya didnt give em...anything. all too often have i seen someone say.. i did such n such for you....... so like, whats the deal? ya want it back? like people talk about...the GIFT of submission it aint no gift if ya throw things back in someone's face, is it? "I" personally abhore anyone using the word..gift. mostly i find there are always strings attached.............. i caught my Mistress here, playing guilt trips recently........and i told Her to Her face,...dont be doing that shit..i coulda stayed with my ex wives if i wanted childish games. aint no gift if it means ya want something out of it. take care everyone

IronBear -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (1/28/2006 12:24:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML if you ever;;; do anything for anyone...and then throw it back in their face later...then ya didnt give em...anything. all too often have i seen someone say.. i did such n such for you....... so like, whats the deal? ya want it back? like people talk about...the GIFT of submission it aint no gift if ya throw things back in someone's face, is it? aint no gift if it means ya want something out of it. I couldn't agree more. The other side of the coin is those who "Give" you things and later when they are pissed of or leavig you take thir gifts back. Those "Gifts" were never yours, they were secretly on loan. Mate of mine when he and his wife broke up found that she had left him only with things he brought into the marriage including his clothes and took his computer she gave him for his birthday along with several suits she bought him.. It pissed him right off when he saw her new man wearing them.... Back to the OP>>>>>> Slaves usually dont expect rewards. If a girl of mine does something particularly well and I wish to reward her I'll do something which she loves as a reward. perhaps a good flogging session or something appropriate. Mind you, I love spoiling slaves at times and chocolates seems to work wonders too. However in more mundane areas, I make additional time when she can be phycically close to me.

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (2/6/2006 1:34:15 PM)
Rewards, oh yeah, they came thick and fast this last weekend, which was my birthday. For which, i was taken camping. The rewards started the night before, the organising and booking, packing - all done so that i didnt have to worry about a thing. Special 'treats' like fetching my drinks, cooking my favourite meals, dancing to the tunes i liked at a concert, being ravaged in a tent in ways id fantasised over, coming swimming in freezing cold water cause 'i' wanted to. My whim's were indulged, my every fancy addressed. In my family, your birthday is where you get to be 'king', 'queen' or 'princess' for the day. Despite being the submissive, 'i' was 'queen' for the day. I loved it. It showed how much attn to detail he takes in. Showed how well he knew me, showed how much he cares. Rewards are a wonderful influence in a D/s relationship. Change the word reward to re-inforcer and you have a massive motivating force on your hands, you'd be foolish not to harness this force. A happy submissive, is a devoted submissive.[:D] little1

seaturtle50 -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (2/6/2006 1:55:03 PM)
quote: "I" personally abhore anyone using the word..gift. i don't know that the word has no place, even in a D/s. To me a gift is an "unmerited favor" - in this way i (as the receiver) did nothing to deserve it, and cannot do anything to disqualify myself from it. It is unmerited. It is all about the whim or decision of the giver. So, i can see where i could give the gift of my submission - although in most relationships it would really just be my giving myself, and that submission being a facet of who i am. A facet that touches every aspect of who i am, but just one facet none the less. Could i or would i give myself as an unmerited favor to another? Well, that in itself is likely a new topic, and something interesting to think about at the least, and i can in fact readily think of instances where that could be possible Just because one may receive ancillary benefits from the giving of a gift (such as the good feelings that may come from helping a homeless person in some way) does not make it less of a gift – less of an unmerited favor. st50

sweetnessforsir -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (2/6/2006 4:01:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: veronicaofML there are MANY subs who would view giving foot rubs as the ultimate in satisfaction. I love giving foot rubs . . . and hand massages . . . and watching as He relaxes . . . and yes, His sweet relaxed smile is a reward.

Sensualips -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (2/6/2006 4:12:45 PM)
quote: In the winter this includes heated baked goods (muffins) troughed in butter, hot cocoa, chocolate sundaes, buying new music, crab cake dinners, and ordering pizza instead of making dinner. (I guess I'm a food slut.) Cloudboy and I have a commonality!

typesgirl -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (2/6/2006 7:34:13 PM)
I totally understand the position of those of you who have said that you don't expect rewards for doing what you've committed to do....serve and please. O/our relationship is a bit different. I get rewards on days when I do really well at what I do. Not just for Him but for myself. When I push hard and work hard Master is always there to say good job and give me a little something whether it's a scene, a present, or just those ever-so-lovely pets I get at bed time. it's the little things He does that show me He's proud of me and make me work even harder the next day to please Him more and be the best me I can be. typesgirl

artglfr -> RE: Rewards For Good Bdsm Behavior. (2/12/2006 12:05:27 PM)
I am happy , she is happy it is that simple and since I am usually happy she may be allowed the use of the "O" she graciously gave me control of.

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