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Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 1:14:09 AM   
WantAPetgirl


Posts: 1
Joined: 3/23/2009
Status: offline 		Hi everyone. I am new to the site and the lifestyle. I have done My research and am ready to take My first step. However, I am really disappointed with this site so far. I joined, searched through all the profiles, and emailed three women. One women responded by asking Me if my email was cut and paste. I spent a half hour responding to that with a lengthy, thought out email. she then replied by telling Me that My email was deleted unread and so will all future emails. she never even viewed My profile.  Another women responded by telling Me obviously I hadn't read her profile. My email to her was in direct correlation to her entire profile because the entire thing was her complaining about how no one was reading her profile and she was sick and disgusted of everyone who emails her. She has been complaining for almost three years now.
So why are these women on here? Obviously they have no intention of doing anything but telling people off for no reason. Anyone have any theories?
The only thing I can think of is that they have no interest in the lifestyle, but they had abusive or controlling relationships in the past and are seeking revenge on anyone they think is like their previous partners. How am I supposed to meet anyone on here when the only people who respond to me are bitter and unapproachable?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 1:48:18 AM   
Blackwolf9


Posts: 47
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline 		I can't speak for those women, but I've been on collarme for nearly a year. I usually respond to most e-mails that aren't outright rude, even if its just to tell the person "I'm taken" or "Not interested". Don't judge us all from a couple of expierences. Good luck to you. This site is where Master and I met.

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 1:51:03 AM   
gardenia100


Posts: 38
Joined: 3/25/2006
Status: offline 		Anybody can be anything and do anything they wish.  This is an open site, not like you have to join a club, learn the rules and know the secrete hand shake to be here, you know this right?  After all your here, you know what you had to do to get on.  There are kids trying to be adults, there are fakes and everyone inbetween.  But then again your going to lable the whole site, and everyone in it by three emails?  Your making it sound like you've never gotten a negitave comment before in your life.  Damn I want to go live in your world, sounds pretty good there.  No ones short, rude, or fake there.
Unfortunately some are here, it just takes time to weed out the good from the bad.  When I first got on found it helpful to read the forum postings.  You start to learn names, thoughts, who thinks the same way you do.  From that point, I found it helpful to find groups in my area, and areas I was willing to travel to.  Join those groups and meet actual people face to face with my same interests.  Along the travel hopefully find the one who lights your fire.  Good luck
Gardenia

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 2:10:02 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Welcome to CM!  Baptism by fire.
I would participate in the forums if you have the time.  You will find that people do meet up via this venue and you are more likely to gain a more responsive reaction.
Three people is a low number contact wise.  Be prepared for many more.  People find it easier to be rude when they are not face to face.  It's not great, but it is fact.  But try not to let it get to you because there are some really lovely people around.
 
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 3:08:16 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		OK, I read your profile. Why would you thing anyone would want to talk to you?
The only writing is bitching about women not immediately responding to your "domliness".
I hate to tell you this, but you can't just demand a woman submit to you.
You are not all that.
Get rid of the bitching and demanding. Start showing who you are as a person. Put up a picture.
Contribute to the boards.
I think what you envisioned is a fantasy of woman dropping to their knees and begging to be your slave.
The only ones who do that are from Nigeria. This is real, not fantasy.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to gardenia100)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 3:18:27 AM   
mugwump


Posts: 119
Joined: 9/26/2005
From: uk
Status: offline 		Use the email responses that have annoyed you and the profiles you consider unnecessarily negative and jaded as a way to gauge how NOT to be on this site... Don't see it, get annoyed by it amd then come on here ostensibly imitating it!
There are some absolute gems on here - the kind of people who, slave, sub, Dom, Domme - whatever - will absolutely make your life a better one for having them in it - but like all gems you have to sift through lots of muck to get to them.

Keep your chin up and present yourself on your profile and in your posts on the forums as the kind of positive, well-considered person you'd like to attract, not the snarky type you've taken a dislike to.

_____________________________

~~ scene but not herd ~~

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 3:25:09 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Sweetie, you have been on CM for 2 whole days and apparently have contacted 3 women without result
Add to that- you are new to the lifestyle and are apparently wanting to jump from "doing research" into a full blown M/s relationship, complete with tastes that are slightly uncommon, in one fell swoop. It doesn't work that way for many or, I daresay, for the vast majority.

Not to be harsh, but your profile is... well, lacking information, esp given the dynamic you claim to seek.
All that said, did you really think that any girl you contacted would respond positively just because you call yourself a Dominant?  Bless your heart, but this isn't Subway, and we don't just sit around waiting for someone to put in their order. It might be a shocker, but things like trust take RL time.

Welcome to the Internet, where finding the right partner actually entails some work, common sense, and self awareness on your part.
Good luck to you.



_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 3:34:19 AM   
BOUNTYHUNTER


Posts: 9259
Joined: 2/5/2004
Status: offline 		TO the op..I find that the women on CM are just like women anywhere,some will flip your switch, some will piss you off,Yes its true that some are on here to play games but its up to you to maintain your cool and let the shit flow down hill..WE as a couple get our share of time wasters but have come up with a system that will eliminate a lot of that..oh the system is for sale for 19.99 guaranteed smile..bounty

_____________________________

US going to hell in a hand basket/

(in reply to WyldHrt)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 3:45:50 AM   
intenze


Posts: 2176
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		to the OP:
I love in your profile how you write about "bitter"women.  Darling, the proper term is "jaded".
C

_____________________________

Namaste, bitches!

(in reply to BOUNTYHUNTER)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 4:23:09 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Your profile says absolutely nothing about you as a person. It also makes it clear that you don't want a relationship per se, just someone to fulfill your fantasies with. It gives no reason why anyone would want to do that. Bluntly, what's in it for her?

Beyond that I am fascinated by the fact that of all the people you could have written, you chose someone whose profile was so obviously negative that anyone could tell she would not have been open to a relationship at all. Why pick someone to write to who makes it clear she isn't interested in meeting anyone? That to me is self sabotage.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to intenze)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 4:48:06 AM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline 		When I get an email from a girl without a photo I mostly assume that it's an overweight ugly 50 year old crossdresser. Usually those aren't all true and every now and then none of them are true but there's a reason someone chooses not to have a photo of themselves up and the above are some of the reasons. If the reason is not wanting to be identified for work reasons, well there's the discreetly hiding your face picture. There are a couple of other reason and solution to them blah blah blah. But the point is when you leave that box blank don't think that the subs your contacting are picturing prince charming in that empty space.

(in reply to intenze)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:01:05 AM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		I would also personally be turned off by the idea that the reader should go and do some 'research'.  It's true what they say about files & honey.  It is important to be true to yourself, but does your profile really reflect that?  Ask yourself 'if I was sitting on the other end of the screen, what would I be seeing?' (and I agree with GotSteel 100% on the part re lack of photos).  You want some one to get a brief understanding about who you are outside of just being the big Domy-dom.  After all this time, I still tweek my profile about once every few months...and, yes, give it a LOT longer than 2 days...  

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:02:21 AM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		If you go up to a woman in a bar, and ask her out, how often will she say yes? Collarme is the same as a bar, except you know all the women are kinky.

Clearly you're approaching them the wrong way. Just like at the bar, if you come across as an asshole, people won't want to go out with you. How do I know you're coming across the wrong way? You've had three women tell you so. Try changing your approach (instead of whining about it).

Edited to add: Whoa, super-bitter journal entry. Way to blame women for not liking you! She turned you down, and so she must not be submissive! She must be an evil bitch who was abused in the past and poses as a submissive to take advantage of wary dominants. Dude, you have a lot of issues or scar tissues from past relationships. That journal entry would be a HUGE red flag for me as a submissive (or a person) to give you a wide, wide berth. But don't listen to me, I'm a scorched, abused she-wench, poising as a subbie to take revenge of the worthless male species.

< Message edited by ExKat -- 3/25/2009 5:05:43 AM >

_____________________________

~*~ The amalgam of Exquemelin and Katie978~*~
In the forums, it'll usually be Katie you're speaking to.
testing
"That's the plan/ Rule the world/ You and me/ Anyday ::wink::"

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:08:55 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		ETA damn kat you type faster than me

So there are 3 girls in the bar 1st one says your feet stink, 2nd one says your momma dresses you funny, 3rd says Im busy.  Dude A gazillion babes out there move on to the next one.  Yer going to find one that says, " Finally I found a manly man" or better yet "you big stud take to me bed or lose me forever".

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 3/25/2009 5:09:50 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to GotSteel)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:11:38 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Not everyone who goes to a football game is enamored with the sport.
 
Not everyone who goes to church is religious.
 
Not everyone who goes to school intends to get educated.
 
You get the message---if its free they will flock, if it has a cost, they will think twice--we're free---search harder.

_____________________________

I am the Cat, holder of the whip and chair.

"Let's see-whips, dips, chains, chips, yep sounds like a party to Me!"

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:18:14 AM   
MissJanice2


Posts: 178
Joined: 3/4/2009
Status: offline 		They never read my profile either because if they did read it, they would realize I am engaged and not into training.
This site is no different from any other site.  You have good ones and bad ones.  You have to weed through the process, and just like real life, that does not always work out either.  Trial and error.  There is no perfect solution.  Always, reread your post at least three times before you post it.  I just quoted someone elese's post instead of the Ops.   I think folks just don't proof their work on the World Wide Net! lol
 
Best Wishes,
 
MJ
 

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:26:19 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		so you have done the "research" and now feel you're ready for a rewarding M/s relationship to fulfill some wild fantasies ...plus your journal was very bitter - i too would delete your email unread.

word of advice - most of us want more out of a relationship than to fulfill some guy's sexual fantasy.



_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:33:52 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		OP, I've always tried to look at the whole profile...journal included...to decide if the person is interesting for me.  I've responded to men with photos and those without. I do feel that those who take the time to write journal entries offer another view into who they could be.  That being said, in looking over your profile, my impression is that while you may have done your "research" into what a M/s relationship is, it would still be a bit of an experiment for both parties involved. 
You say you're looking for someone to fulfill some wild fantasies and yet you tell that person to do their own "research".  You need to use your words to better explain yourself.  I'm not a mind reader and you offer no reason why I should work on that particular skill.
Moving on...your single journal entry is the same as this thread, one big "poor me" whine session.  Nothing appealing there unless you're offering some amazing cheese to go with it.

Two days and you're ready to throw in the towel?  This is a free site, which means you will get all sorts of people.  To limit yourself and give up because 3 women turned you down makes me wonder how serious you're to be taken.  If this were a business situation and you were a salesman who's job it was to sell to his clients this fantastic product that would make their lives better than they could ever dream of (it's a stretch but play along with me here), but gets frustrated and wants to give up because 3 of those clients said they weren't interested....well, I would question your dedication and job performance. 

Go back and reconsider your approach and advertisment appeal of your "product".  Develop the ability to let go of those who aren't interested or are unsuitable and focus on your goal.

Oh...this will take more than just a couple of days

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 3/25/2009 5:34:33 AM >

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 5:44:02 AM   
InTonguesslave


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline 		if youre looking for positive people, pick positive profiles and jolly youres up a bit too.  had a peek and if youre telling people youre having a negative time theyre going to wonder what it is about you thats causing that. (unfair i know)  you need to develop some resilliance and an optimistic outlook, much more endearing.

beyond that, have fun.  there are some genuines out there, just it takes more than two weeks and 3 emails to get there, (usually)

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 3/25/2009 5:47:08 AM >

_____________________________

aka lally


(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Question about the women on this site - 3/25/2009 6:15:35 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		All I can add to this is that I hope the OP doesn't discover he's actually homosexual because from what I can see it doesn't look too promising.

Hint: time to leap out of the goldfish bowl and get to know what people are really about. Leave the tick box checklist at home. You might get better results.

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

(in reply to WantAPetgirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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