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RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/29/2009 11:44:28 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
boring in my old age!  I will not be used like that! lol
I imagine us going out with an evil grin, still scaring the hell out of men who are afraid of "bad" women.     Boring?!   Never!...     M

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The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/30/2009 5:57:07 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		inspiring himself to clean his home
 
I've never heard ouanquing called that before, Lockit.  I do so love your quaint American expressions!

Point One: There's such a strong hint here of men needing to be trained up to meet a woman's standards around the home.  I've just come back from a female friend's place that was without hot water or heating because she couldn't fix the plumbing or electrics.  She also couldn't put up shelves, mend her computer or even sew a new zip onto her jeans.  She's not stupid - far from it - she just doesn't, somehow, believe that she can do such things. 

Point Two:  Assume that, for whatever reason, the man does most of the housework but that, occasionally, there's some godawful, chore that he doesn't want to do.  (Cleaning the dog's teeth, for instance).  Then is the time to jolly things along a bit with a bit of D/s kink, I'd say.  He gets naked or into his frillies, she gets out her baseball bat (whatever floats both boats).  I'm thinking that the realistic way to look at all this is in terms of 'harnessing' the D/s kink-energy every now and then, rather than relying on it 24/7 to motivate all domestic work.


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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/30/2009 10:53:01 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... I never said I wouldn't use enticements at any point!  I try to make life fun and if there is a laugh in it or a tease or play... oh yeah!  I just don't want someone who expects it every time he picks up his boots and wants me to tell him he did it wrong and needs a beating! lol  Balance... it's all about balance!

As a very young woman, I lived with three railroad men and all worked different hours.  There was a twenty four hour party all the time.  I did most of the housework/cooking at first and then decided the guys had it way too easy!  I didn't mind it because they worked hard and I should too, but I had things I wanted to do in life and I had to get on with it, therefore they had to be trained to not expect me to do it all.  I was pretty demanding even back then.  I decided that since they all would be there one Saturday, that I was waking them up and getting them going.  I didn't care how much sleep they had.  I had warned them the day was coming.  I will never forget waking them all up and telling them that they were getting up and what they each were doing.  They groaned but they got up... I was determined and they knew it.  But they also knew all I did for them and if they didn't do it.. there would be hell to pay and no more goodies!

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(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/30/2009 11:08:20 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Three of them?  And you were very young at the time?  Lockit, I bow to you in admiration. 

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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/30/2009 11:22:18 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I was very young!  I loved the place I held in their lives!  I think I learned a lot, a lot! hehe

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/30/2009 2:11:00 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Fox is a very good up and coming male wife. From my experience, most men who have either lived alone or have had parents who did not spend all their time at home have at least the starter set of skills necessary. I dont know about anyone elses home, but in mine there are very few things that need attention to on a regular basis. Yes, dishes pile up quickly since I do a lot of cooking.  We need to vacuum semi-frequently. Aside from that, there isnt a lot of work that goes into keeping the place clean. We set up a few simple rules and that keeps it from turning into a nightmare. If you use something, put it back where you got it. If you run out of something, put it on the grocery list.    

Being a wife is not rocket science, no moreso than being a husband is.  I think the reason there is the fantasy, and the thought that extensive training its necessary, has to do more with the preference for responsabilities than the actual role of "male wife". And if it is just catering to your desires, why is that any different than any other aspect of submission? Just becasue they are our romantic partner? Fox's service is to make my life easier. That includes chores, massages and conversation.  His responsabilities would be the same if I was making him my male wife, my husband, or my housepet.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/30/2009 2:46:32 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Being a wife is not rocket science
 
No, but 'rocket science' is a very apt term for a domme's skill in harnessing a male sub's kink to doing the grottier bits of housework, I've concluded.

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(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 3/31/2009 11:29:12 AM   
Kaiel


Posts: 748
Joined: 4/17/2007
Status: offline 		My boy willingly does all the major chores, except cooking... that's because I enjoy cooking. Unfortunately, his job takes his attention away from performing the tasks as diligently as I would like (hence, a new sub position in My life)...

At any rate, I am in agreement with the Domme's that state, "the sub either wants to do it and is willing to do it the right way" or not... I don't think the male wife role should be such a chore to establish. Submission is given, not forced. :)

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 4/27/2009 9:24:41 AM   
GYPZYQUEEN


Posts: 730
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		My male wife will be a new age wife.
.......liberated from the kitchen and multi-tasking..
He will have  a
profession..and be my help mate in support of my goals and endeavours..
he will honor and adore me and cater to my whims...

I will have a servant in the home for tasks... errands...cooking..sock soritng and toilet paper check...

For a 50's home,  male wife..
*aprons conjure up immediate wife duty role..
as well as skirts..
* a  week of teaching  routine and how things are to be done with good correction will do..I have had other boy- domestics come in and teach as well
* A home manual made by wife..with all your expectations is good.
**it can be done on computor and pasted in or hand written after each task instruction..eg) clean fridge each MON..throw out old leftovers..clean with vineager..etc.
....THURSDAY..change bedding..laundry
* recipes can be added and htings WIFE finds for the home...tips etc to make the home a harmonious place to be
* Mistresses likes and dilsikes can go in..eg)coffee..Mexican expresso( Planet Organic shop)..1/2 basket to half pot water..turn heat off .Mistress hates crude oil
* business cards can be pasted in such as for Mistresses hair salon and spa

*referrals can then be made and additional notes...added
and when in a feedback meeting the manual can be reffered to

MESSAGE/TASK BOARD..a wipeable felt marker board is uselful for PT boys or in house...it can be done daily (after teaching of task and expectations )and then less needs to be said about WHAT is to be done and when
THis is good when MIstress is away and has a boy living in  or when a  PT comes to the home before she gets there in the day

**these ideas take into account ,
MODALITY strengths of  the learner...
visual...auditory & hands ons
( auditory is least effective for teaching)


GQ



< Message edited by GYPZYQUEEN -- 4/27/2009 9:29:59 AM >

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 4/27/2009 11:10:46 AM   
BayouSub


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline 		This "male wife" concept is really popular.  I remember Ms. Mia's prior thread on this had hundreds of replies:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_946070/mpage_1/tm.htm

Historically, housework was done by the person in the subordinate position.  It you are naturally submissive, this is exactly the position you want to occupy.  I'd love to be the a modern version of the "1950's housewife" with the only change being that I work in a regular job in addition to household duties. 

I agree that a submissive male will want to do housework as part of his submission and service and should not need to be forced to do it.  But, for me at least, I like the idea of consequences for  failing to do the house work or failing to do it to her standards. The control element in this type of relationship is very appealing to me. 

One thing to remember is that men have a different idea of what constitutes "clean" and some training is probably necessary to change that concept.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 4/27/2009 11:30:33 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Unless someone is very anal about how housekeeping is done, it isn't rocket science.  Once someone has had things explained to them, they should be able to clean without constant monitoring or punishments for jobs not done well or not completed.  If I have to watch over someone like I did during parenting years to some degree, then I feel like I am parenting again.

It isn't part of a dynamic for me looking for good cause to punish or play.  Housework and household needs can be cripling if not done.  How do you cook if there are no dishes?  What do you wear if laundry isn't done.  What?  Am I supposed to miss some event, serious or not because something isn't done?

My dominance better not amount to being a parent again!  If my submissive needs to be bad and punished to get his kink on, then he isn't really what I am looking for.  I have had two male wive's in a sense.  I did not have to come home from work and find all they didn't do so that I could punish them, wait for whatever to be done and then find it too late to have the real kind of fun I want.  What happens when things don't get done and then other things don't happen because of it?  Like snuggling or massage or time for sex?

When one thing isn't done it plays into what other things don't get done and wasted time.  If I want something done so that we can go somewhere and it isn't done... okay he might not get to go... but what happens then?  I don't have my partner with me doing something I wanted to do with them.  Any way it plays out I cannot see my life being changed because someone wants to play teen bad boy to be punished.

I don't want a constant struggle to do simple things that simply need to be done so that life runs smoothly, so that real fun and life work can be done.  I don't need an excuse to spank an ass.  I also at my age do not need to struggle with someone over things I would never even tolerate from my teen um's.

Someone is either willing to submit, willing to be an adult and willing to be realistic about life or they are not and are playing a game, topping by deciding when to not do something so they can get some kink on.  I am not stepping back in life, but foward and anyone who needs the dynamic of topping from the bottom, calling the shots by bad behavior and unrealistic behavior at that... is simply going to have a new profile here at CM and will be looking for a dominant far different from me!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to BayouSub)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How to train a sub to be a good male wife in real l... - 4/27/2009 5:47:09 PM   
BayouSub


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/2/2007
Status: offline 		I read your reply and both understand and respect your opinion.  You don't want to "parent" an adult male and I think that is a position shared by most women - dominant or vanilla.  

As I stated in my post, the control element in any D/s relationship is very important to me.  It is difficult for me to experience a dominant's control unless the dominant has the power to enforce his/her will.  For me, it's not so much trying to be a "bad boy" so I can get punished but rather living in a situation where someone has the power to punish me.  I don't really WANT the punishment...I want to avoid the punishment.  This could certainly apply to a parental situation but also to a Master/Slave situation, boss/employee or any of a number of a number of situations in which power is unequal. 

So I would not be one of those guys looking to disobey in order to be punished.  I just enjoy being under the authority of a dominant.

I realize this is a little off the subject...

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 52
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