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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/29/2009 9:45:53 AM

breakme

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/2/2005
Status: offline

MissMorrigan, I have messaged before. No real success as of yet.

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/29/2009 7:41:27 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
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I'm an advocate of NOT contacting her, but that's just me. I figure they get enough mail from potential subs anyway, that I'm just adding to the traffic they really don't want to see. I'd rather be contacted by someone who is interested in me than try to convince some woman who doesn't know me that she should be interested in me. Sure, that means my chances of connecting with someone are almost nil, but I stopped caring about that. I figure the right person is going to come along because it was meant to be, or it isn't meant to be. I also discovered that I have a tendency to meet people in real life a lot that somehow become part of the scene (if not already), so I'm not always limited to people I can find online.

I figure that I'm enough of a presence on the boards that if someone was truly interested in me, she'd contact me. If I was some wallflower who hid in the shadows the whole time, well that would be different. But as I've never been afraid to engage people in conversation, I don't have any qualms about expecting a dominant woman to be forthright and direct enough to decide to make first contact.

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/30/2009 7:43:05 AM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
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Littlesarbonn, I don't think it has much to do with being forthright. Sometimes a particular thing someone says on the forums or on their profile is intriguing enough for me to contact them, but for the most part, I get enough people contacting me first that I don't bother to seek others out. I'd think it would be particularly difficult to find a Domme in South Korea, since culturally, they tend to be pushed toward being more submissive (not necessarily in a D/s or erotic sense).

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 3/30/2009 7:45:53 AM >

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/30/2009 7:47:42 AM

LovingDom86

Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
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I say always make contact, unless there is anything in the respective party's profile politely asking you not to.

Otherwise we would all sit here wondering if we should contact eachother and absolutely nothing get done. So, one vote of confidence for Yes, absolutely make the first contact.

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/30/2009 8:29:45 AM

InspiredLadySub

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/29/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

Carpe that diem before someone else swoops in and carps it.

HAHA! That is FABULOUS!

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/30/2009 8:34:29 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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I am happy to be contacted, because I do not do well with the passive or the shy. I expect that if a man is interested, he will maintain the correspondence, too. I am enough of a woman to figure that no contact = "just not that into you".

Yes, the signal to noise ratio is not what we would wish when it comes to inboxes, but I can certainly tell the difference between a wanker and a potential early in the game. (Though I have been pretty dramatically played, so it's not a foolproof method!) A simple, Hi, I'd like to get to know you better, type of mail goes much further with me than the May I serve you Goddess.

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/30/2009 8:42:26 AM

VampiresLair

Posts: 1307
Joined: 9/3/2008
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A few things.
1: as many have mentioned, refering to a dominant female as Mistress in your initial contact or thinking of them that way is not going to help your cause any. Many of us dislike that from someone who is not our owned property already and some of us do not even like it then. So, you might want to find a new honorofic for them, or you might want to stick to their screen name and refer to us as Dominant Women, not Mistresses.

2: With as many submissive men as are out there, most of them making first contact already, waiting for a Dominant woman to browse, see your profile and hopefully write is setting yourself up for failure. Many of us get inundated with mail, to the point where it is rare we browse and look on our own.

3: Presentation is EVERYTHING. AS I said before, a lot of us get inundated with mail. First contact and making yourself stand out from the crowd is key. Read the profile, and make sure you understand what it is trying to say. Make it obvious you have read it, and do not go directly into a list of what you want and what you need. A first contact does not have to spell every detail of what you hope will happen out right off. You want to get someone's attention and talk to them, make them want to learn more. IF someone tells me every detail, I do not want to continue the script. However, when someone talks to me and starts an actual conversation it will usually go somewhere.

4: spell check and proofread your email. There is nothing less impressive than a poorly written and misspelled first email. This is your first impression. Make it count.

Good luck

DV

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 3/30/2009 5:21:35 PM

Vanityfull

Posts: 196
Joined: 3/6/2009
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rejection is always better than never knowing..

i personally advise against seeking a relationship online, its a whole lot of pain in the ass. but if you do disire go for it.
aproach someone on what you find attractive about them, "nice rack" wont get you that far but if you dig threw a profile for a relatable intrest and msg them about it you will have a better chance. i donno if this is good avice to give but i have gotten more msgs from random people sinse i started voicing my opinions on these forums, i think i have scared a few away as well, but showing you have a voice on things is a good way to show some differance from the many others just spamming the dommes (or w/e they call themselves these days)

its a good idea to look at the posts of dom ladies and see their opinions on what emails piss them off, then avoid that behavior.

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 4/2/2009 3:39:32 PM

breakme

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/2/2005
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I thought I would say that I am now under consideration by Mistress Odyne since some people had asked how things were going. Thank you for all your kind replies.

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 4/2/2009 3:59:31 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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Wow...lol From not sure whether to message or not, to under consideration! I must be doing something wrong here... I may need a thread of my own!

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RE: Message or wait to be messaged? - 4/2/2009 4:09:51 PM

DavanKael

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Joined: 10/6/2007
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A polite, well-crafted note strikes me as appropriate and, as many have said, take no liberties with titles.
Best wishes,
Davan

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