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Memo from management. - 3/28/2009 3:17:45 PM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline 		Memo from Information Technology (IT) Department

Dear Colleagues;

There are a lot of changes that are going to be taking place across the board as far as personal computers go.

The goal is to remove all laptop computers by December and all desktop computers by February as part of the ongoing cost-cutting around the company. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch A Sketch?.

There are many sound reason for doing this:
No boot-up problems.
No technical glitches keeping work from being done.
No more wasted time reading and writing emails.
No more worries about power cuts.
Budget savings on Upgrades unparalleled.

Frequently Asked Questions for the Etch A Sketch? Help Desk:

Q: My Etch A Sketch? has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch A Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What's the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch A Sketch??
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch A Sketch? document?
A: Do not shake it.



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Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Memo from management. - 3/28/2009 3:30:20 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		If I did get a memo like this from technologically-challenged upper management it would be no surprise at all.

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"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to FourQ)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 4:06:55 AM   
rubberpet


Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

If I did get a memo like this from technologically-challenged upper management it would be no surprise at all.


I know the feeling.  It would be our luck they couldn't even send the memo out on an Etch-a-Sketch because the technology is too advanced for them.
 
Hell, the security cameras where I work don't even have video tape.  They use Scotch Tape.  Sometimes, they just cram a midget in the little black domes with a box of crayons and a piece of paper.

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Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 4:35:31 AM   
FourQ


Posts: 1370
Status: offline 		lol.
My home camera takes a video and a photo, e-mails me the photo and uploads the video to my FTP server. 
If I'm out of the house it also changes the music and if it's dark it changes the lights around, and that's just if someone walks up the driveway!

If I can do that I'm sure a security company can do better than scotch video tape.


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RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 8:31:07 AM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

If I did get a memo like this from technologically-challenged upper management it would be no surprise at all.


Respectfully Miss V, as a member of management, I work very hard to eliminate any trace of sarcasm from the ridiculous memos that I send out to the team. 

yours



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May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 1:02:31 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		How much do they pay you per memo?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 1:45:30 PM   
YoursMistress


Posts: 894
Joined: 12/17/2008
Status: offline 		Sigh.  If only, Miss V.  We are struggling with measures of productivity, so we convened a cross-functional team to go offsite to work on it.  Our overhead charges mysteriously grew immensely during this week, so drastic measures were implemented, including asking each employee to take his/her mandatory company training on their own time.  We are going to hire a team of outside consultants to investigate the inexplicable charges from the prior week.  I'll keep you informed. 

yours


_____________________________

May your service of love a beautiful thing; want nothing else, fear nothing else and let love be free to become what love truly is. -- Hadewijch of Antwerp

As a rule, I don't like to make general statements.

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 3:06:13 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Dept. of Redundancy Department, check

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to YoursMistress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Memo from management. - 3/29/2009 6:21:05 PM   
intenze


Posts: 2176
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		This might come in handy:
http://www.mwls.co.uk/jargon.htm

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Namaste, bitches!

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 9
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