RE: Clingy? (Full Version)

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WyldHrt -> RE: Clingy? (3/31/2009 10:24:48 PM)

quote:

he walks from the family room to the kitchen, i follow...he goes from the office to the bedroom and back again, i follow...he goes to the bathroom, i attempt to follow and am kicked out, lol.

LMAO, Daddysprop. That visual with the puppy dog reference made me giggle, esp thinking of the way my dogs would sit outside the door after being kicked out of the bathroom, trying to peek through the crack if the door wasn't all the way closed. [:D]

I suppose they were a bit clingy, lol.



porcelaine -> RE: Clingy? (3/31/2009 10:40:45 PM)

i'm not clingy but i do like attention. i think it really boils down to compatibility and the various things each have going on at present. there are times when life interrupts and throws things off balance. the perception of being clingy could be attributed to a sincere desire to spend time together. i think we all experience this at some point.

quality time is important to me. i realize this and try to be cognizant of such when i'm getting to know someone. while i don't need constant attending to, i would not be happy with limited communication. i don't feel this makes me clingy at all, but it does mean i'm being honest with myself and hopefully the other person as well.

porcelaine



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 4:37:18 AM)

clingy people - extreme hard limit

i don't like them and do my best to avoid having relationships with them.



OrionTheWolf -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 4:49:37 AM)

LOL. girl you sound like my slave, except that she does not get kicked out of the bathroom. My girl even goes with me to clients, and waits in the cross-over while I work. I come out ever so often to check on her, and she texts me asking for permission to smoke or have a drink, etc. Most would find this annoying, but it is just like any other pet that follows you around, faithfully waiting to serve or receive attention.


quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

i agree with those who've said that clingyness on the part of the submissive or slave is a quite natural by-product of a serious D/s relationship. now the exact degree of that clingyness will vary of course. in my case, i am EXTREMELY clingy towards my Master and if i could i would be in his physical presence every minute of every day. this need has only intensified over the years. when he gets home from work i am so excited it feels like my heart will burst, and i will rush him and just bury my head in his chest. i have a tendency to follow him around the house like a puppy dog...he walks from the family room to the kitchen, i follow...he goes from the office to the bedroom and back again, i follow...he goes to the bathroom, i attempt to follow and am kicked out, lol. but i can't help it, i crave his presence.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 5:03:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pridedenied

So I'm wondering something. Does anyone else out there have the problem of either being too clingy toward their Mistress/Master or having their sub/slave be too clingy? How does it make you feel? How do you deal with it? Are there things that are always too clingy to do or say or does it really depend on the circumstances?Any discussion on this topic would be greatly appreciated.


I loathe loathe loathe clingy. I need My own space.



pridedenied -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 10:08:40 AM)

Wow! Yay! Thanks everybody for the replies! In my case it was just a problem of too much of a good thing. Problems arise when I forget to back off when important things are going on in Her life.



StormsSlave -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 11:34:58 AM)

Good topic.  It comes and goes, as I feel more needy.  If I am worried about his health, I tend to be hen chicken, cluck-clucky, but I don't think that's the same.  Many nights I will come home and follow him like a puppy, yacking and talking like a magpie, or when I'm upset cry all over him.  As a general rule, we are affectionate to one another, but regular clinginess on my part would make him nuts.

I like the cat analogy.  I'm more like a dog, I think.  I seek the attention, but don't get offended when told to go lay down. :)



CreativeDominant -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 12:43:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pridedenied

So I'm wondering something. Does anyone else out there have the problem of either being too clingy toward their Mistress/Master or having their sub/slave be too clingy? How does it make you feel? How do you deal with it? Are there things that are always too clingy to do or say or does it really depend on the circumstances?Any discussion on this topic would be greatly appreciated.
As has already been noted, clinginess is a matter of personal perspective.
I come from a family of touchy-feely people.  My brother is kind of the oddball because he is not all that much into touch and neither is my sister-in-law.  So there've been times when I've felt "touch withdrawal" when he and she have been the main family around me. 
I like to touch...to hold hands while watching a movie or to have a submissive against my chest or her head on my lap or her body against my legs while watching T. V.  I like driving with one hand touching her in some way or having her touch me.  It feels very nice to look at a submissive and see her just looking at you and smiling while her hand strokes your arm or your neck while you are reading or watching T.V. or sitting at dinner talking to the waiter.  I love the idea that someone would be excited for me to come home and look forward to it instead of "expecting" it OR the reverse...fearing it.  I want the affection and need to be in all areas...not just in the normal intimacy of day to day life but within the D/s dynamic, the BDSM play, the sexual life, the love.  I like that and want that and need that...tis one reason why I seek not only a D/s dynamic but a combination D/s dynamic-romantic relationship. 

That said...I need my space too.  I like to work on my hot rods and don't care to be touched or fondled when I'm grunting around on them.  I don't want nor need to be told "I'll miss you" when all I have done is get up from the couch and am on my way to the bathroom.  I sometimes like to turn my back to my partner's back in bed and have the only contact be my back and my ass up against her back and ass with no hand touching or face-cuddling.  It depends on my mood and, to a lesser extent, on hers.

To me, that is mutual affection and similarity in means of expressing it.  Clingy is a term that has developed negative connotations and in some areas, there is such a thing as too much clinginess when that comes from neediness to the extent that no matter what you do to fill the vessel, it never gets filled and in fact, seems to get emptier as evidenced by an ever-increasing need for more attention, more touching, more ....more...more.



twisteddoll -> RE: Clingy? (4/1/2009 11:17:04 PM)

I don't like the word clingy either.  I agree it has a negative connotation.  But, I'm definitely an attention whore. =P  I think as long as everyone is getting as much attention and/or space that they need, then why should we even be throwing around mean words like clingy and needy?  Everyone is different.



Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Clingy? (4/2/2009 1:16:43 AM)

I enjoy clingly provided it's somebody I want to have cling to me. :-P In some regards I myself can be a bit of a clingy Dominant, but that's with somebody I want to cling to.

All depends upon the type of cling it is, motivation behind and many other things. Can be Awesome, can really suck too.



Midgie -> RE: Clingy? (4/6/2009 2:28:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: twisteddoll

I don't like the word clingy either.  I agree it has a negative connotation.  But, I'm definitely an attention whore. =P  I think as long as everyone is getting as much attention and/or space that they need, then why should we even be throwing around mean words like clingy and needy?  Everyone is different.


I agree with this completely. For me too it's more that I really, REALLY like attention, especially simply snuggling or kissing, or touching.



BohemianGoddess -> RE: Clingy? (4/6/2009 4:46:06 PM)

I feel it depends on the D & S relationship that has been established between the Dom/Domme and the sub/slave. If it were a Daddy little girl relationship between 2 people, then I could understand the clinginess and even the need for it. However in my own personal experince if a slave or sub were too clingy with me it would drive me nuts! The few I have known were the whiney-clingy type who never shut up, the "I want, I want type". They would hang all over me and try to be very possesive of my time. Clingy just does not work with me, but I certainly understand where it could be a good thing with others.



DeathinRevelry -> RE: Clingy? (4/6/2009 10:13:48 PM)

I've definitely had to deal with differences of affection. It felt clingy to me, but in retrospect it was just that the person I was with had a different standard of affection than I did. He wanted almost constant touch, wanted to be always at my feet, was always trying to get me to pet him and play with him, and that's just not right for me. I'm a writer, which means I need my hands on the keyboard, not the pet, and I like knowing my pets have other interests than simply adoring me. To use the cat/dog analogy that's been in play here, I'm definitely a cat person- the occasional pet or snuggle, then go back to what you were doing.
 
Overall, I'd say it comes down to personal preferences and comfort levels. Some people are more invested in touch than others, and it can cause strife. Those that want touch often see those that don't as cold, and those that don't often see those that do as clingy. Now, there are definitely extremes on both ends of the spectrum that aren't healthy, whether it's someone that completely eschews any touch or someone that can barely function without nearly constant attention. But for the most part, I think it's a matter of compatibility and being able to compromise or find someone fairly close to your own style.



jaylezbottom -> RE: Clingy? (4/14/2009 3:59:13 AM)

Well in my last relationship, i was far TOOO clingy.  That is obvious.  And even still i am finding it hard to let go.  i have learned that i will not be clingy again to others that i may sub to.  It was a poly relationship, and yes there was "alot" of jealousy, but even though i had been in a poly relationship in the past, i didn't know how to make it work.  After this relationship i have re-defined what poly means to me.  i will not post that because it will cause great debate.  But really, clingy is bad!  Before i would want to be close all the time, but now it's just short instances that i even want to be touched even by Her.  my walls have gone way up from being clingy, it wasn't a good thing for me.



NormalOutside -> RE: Clingy? (4/14/2009 4:11:01 AM)

I've never been with a girl who I found to be "too" clingy. I've had times when I need more space, so I make that known, and it's usually not a problem for anyone. Generally speaking, I adore clingy and needy little girls. :)



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