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RE: Leaves me wanting - 4/8/2009 10:42:14 AM

Claryce

Posts: 8
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline

Actions speak louder than words.

(in reply to SthrnCom4t)

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Post #: 61

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/11/2009 10:00:05 AM

Heritagesub

Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
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Just to let everyone know I did dump him, he was a Fake and a loser and a liar! I want to thank everyone on this site for the advice and support.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

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Post #: 62

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/11/2009 12:48:32 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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Personally I believe that MANY people profess to be dom sub switch ect to get sex. It does not mean they are what they say they are simply because they say it.
To the OP
DUH.. this guy wants sex and then to be gone. How many times do you have to experience it to know it?
I hear people say ask your master, discuss this with him, be patient. ect. But seems as if you have brought it to his attention and yet nothing has changed. What about this senario makes it appear he is a master and not a guy out for easy sex?
If this was a nilla relationship would you be satisfied with your guy coming over to grab a beer, get a BJ and then go off to enjoy the rest of his day?
Its not rocket science.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

First, I'm sorry you're going through this. I know it's difficult.

Second, showing your anger about it will rarely get you what you want. You are the submissive, and while many of your wants should be met that doesn't mean that they all will be, and not necessarily on your time schedule.

Try to put yourself in his shoes. Not all people enjoy talking on the phone and prefer to use the computer. He's not the first Dom that I've heard of that finishes having sex and leaves within minutes. He asked you to be patient and you got more angry.

Patience is one of the most difficult things to learn. We all crave time with our Doms/Masters or we wouldn't be in the relationship. Only he knows if he is training you or if all he wants is short conversations and some sex and run. Let him know calmly and respectfully what you want from him. Here's an example: "You know, my ideal would be if we could have contact each day for at least a short time on the computer and if we could talk a couple of times a week. I enjoy your company so much that I wish you could stay with me more than a few minutes after sex so that when you leave I could feel that I truly pleased you." If you put it in terms of him being pleased, even though it is taking care of YOUR wants, you are more likely to get it.

Yes, a sub's wants should be fulfilled but by simply demanding it chances are you won't get it. It may be a case of incompatible goals for the relationship.

(in reply to chamberqueen)

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Post #: 63

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/11/2009 12:49:39 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
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YAY!
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Heritagesub

Just to let everyone know I did dump him, he was a Fake and a loser and a liar! I want to thank everyone on this site for the advice and support.

(in reply to Heritagesub)

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Post #: 64

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/11/2009 3:02:01 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen
He asked you to be patient and you got more angry.

Patience is one of the most difficult things to learn.

Sorry, I disagree. He told her that he'd be there within 30 minutes. TWO HOURS LATER he's not there and he's telling her that should be patient.

He blew her off. He showed that he thinks that her time isn't important, by not caring how much time she wasted waiting for him to do what he said he was going to do.

That's not learning to be patient.

Personally, I wouldn't stay with someone that doesn't do what they say they're going to do.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to chamberqueen)

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Post #: 65

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/11/2009 3:33:28 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
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Never assume that those posting on here are experienced, simply because they offer advice. Or because they post

.Being on fetish sites and Posting does not equate "talking from experience"

quote:

ORIGINAL: Heritagesub

I would like to thank everyone for their responses, I don't know where I would be without this forum.. It is a Godsend to be able to ask people in the lifestyle questions, and that know what they are talking about by experience... Again Thank you all!

(in reply to Heritagesub)

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Post #: 66

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/13/2009 4:54:50 AM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Heritagesub

Just to let everyone know I did dump him, he was a Fake and a loser and a liar! I want to thank everyone on this site for the advice and support.

Just curious: how did you determine he was a fake, loser, and liar?

(in reply to Heritagesub)

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Post #: 67

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/14/2009 8:08:42 AM

Heritagesub

Posts: 14
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

He would disappear for days, no phone calls, texts (which he was famous for) then one day he calls and says he's in Alabama taking care of his dad. I called his work, cause I don't believe him, and they said he didn't work there anymore...hmmmmmmmm Well , no more calls and he's gone. But before all this, as in my posts, he would leave me right after sex, he would never stay over, wanted me to call him Master the first time we met and buy me a collar the same week...... I may be new, but not stupid!

(in reply to CaringandReal)

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Post #: 68

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/14/2009 9:58:13 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

I'm glad you caught on and sorry you had to go through it. Since you originally posted I've seen more cases of men who consider themselves to be Masters/Doms but basically just want to be in control in the bedroom with a few texts or chats thrown in. That's not bad if it is something that both parties have agreed to up front, but I see a lot of female subs who end up feeling very hurt because they thought that the first rush of communication in the beginning was going to last.

I hope that you find someone you are more compatible with. Maybe at least you can look at this past relationship as a learning experience. I wish you the best.

_____________________________

(in reply to Heritagesub)

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Post #: 69

RE: Leaves me wanting - 7/14/2009 5:43:07 PM

SirMaestro

Posts: 1
Joined: 7/11/2009
Status: offline

Don't Lose Faith!!

You are a very attractive woman and you will find your Master one day:)

(in reply to chamberqueen)

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Post #: 70