seaturtle50
Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
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i have recently had some personal realizations and this has led me to wonder about something. i am asking for shared experiences/opinions, if You please.
i have been spending some time reading information found on Femdom sites, with great interest. <of course> While i have been reading about orgasm denial/control on one of the sites, it was explained to the reader that the main purpose of the denial/control is to cause the male to abandon his persistent masturbatory habits, and fantasy life. For him to instead focus on his dominant Woman as the sole and only focus of sexualized fantasies.
The thinking was, (basically) that the male and Female are substantially different in the way they think about sex within their relationship. In the context of husband wife (as in the example of the article) the wife is not thinking of sex and sexual fantasy all of the time. In the <implied vanilla relationships> example, she is often unaware of the fact that her man is sneaking around jerking off and thinking about anything <implied dirty and nasty things> that he wants. She often assumes he is going without sex at the identical pace as her, when in fact, he is sneaking release by his own hand as many as three times per day <age dependent.> Such releases causing him to become far less attentive to her than he otherwise would be.
It was pointed out that men will consistently “sneak” opportunities to masturbate, and will be thinking of “God only knows what” while doing the deed. Further, that once his dominant Woman removes this option, his attention will immediately and rightly be focused only on her Power over him, and his desire for Her. The gist of the reading was that this will of course lead him to become very focused on Her pleasure, and he will become extremely pliant and wanting to please Her. She will quickly become the center of ALL of his sexual fantasies.
First of all, this makes perfect sense to me. i am guilty of this crime in all of my past long-term relationships. i can readily see and admit that Her taking proper control of my fantasy life <read orgasms> would not only be appropriate, but that it essentially would have solved most ALL of the relationship problems that i have experienced. Certainly, those past relationships that were otherwise healthy and workable. i mean to say that i do think this would have created exactly the result in me that the author proposed, and for the exact reasons suggested. i cannot imagine myself, under these conditions, not making Her my new subject of nearly constant fantasy, passion, and desire.
Now, what i am curious about – if this is true (so far only good theory in my life) and if it makes as much sense as it seems – is there an equivalent reason for a Dom/me to deny orgasm to His/Her female sub/slave? i do understand already that there are many (good) reasons for such denial. My question specifically is – is there a valid equivalent reason for this to be required in the case of a female?
It does seem that if something in the lifestyle applies to the male sub, it would be equally true for the female submissive. This concept however, looks to be an exception to me, based on my current understanding of the basic differences in the physiology, overall mindset, as well as the cultural and sexual erudition of the average male and female. (Exceptions to this “average” not withstanding ;-)
i do find this to be interesting, and wish to learn more.
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