Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Sorry for venting


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Sorry for venting Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 8:46:32 AM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Around 6 months ago, I met a potential Dom here on CM.  We live about 4 hours apart.  We talked a while, and because of some things going on in life, we parted ways.  A couple months back, I randomly texted him just to see how he was.  We started talking again and things were nearly perfect.  I truly believe I love him and he said he loved me as well.

Today, things all fell apart.  He got angry with me because I still had a profile here on CM, as well as on other sites.  I use these to communicate with friends and gather useful information.  He said that since I was still on here, then I was looking for someone else as that is the only, ONLY reason people are on here (his words, not mine).  So now, I find myself "dumped" because I am apparently looking for something or someone else.

The D/s aspect of our relationship was stricktly in the bedroom.  I even went as far as to get tattood with the pet name he gave me (good thing it wasn't his name, huh).  I just don't get it.  And he says he refuses to take the blame for ending it.  I'm befuddled.

Any comforting words of wisdom?  Thanks for letting me vent.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 8:49:50 AM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Better off without him (Though, I know it doesn't feel that way at the moment). 
Think before you ink. 
Best wishes,
  Davan

_____________________________

May you live as long as you wish & love as long as you live
-Robert A Heinlein

It's about the person & the bond,not the bondage
-Me

Waiting is

170NZ (Aka:Sex God Du Jour) pts

Jesus,I've ALWAYS been a deviant
-Leadership527,Jeff

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 8:52:13 AM   
angelwithhonor


Posts: 193
Joined: 5/16/2007
Status: offline 		....well i guess its His side of seeing things..and truthfuly you know that honestly the profile was there to be for the forums or friends. its His insecurity not yours...many ppl on here have profiles and are not searching.i am sorry that you got dumped, there will be someone out there who will trust you and why you are on here..peace kate

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 8:56:56 AM   
peppermint


Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline 		Sounds to me as if he were getting tired of the relationship and looking for any excuse to break it off.  He didn't want to listen to your side of the matter.  You could have put him in contact with dozens of people who use this site for other than seeking a partner.  That wouldn't have mattered to him at all.  By the way, what was HE doing here if HE isn't looking?

Why does anyone need to take the blame for ending the relatioship?  It's over, done with...move on with your life. 

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 9:00:08 AM   
InTonguesslut


Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		As one door closes another door opens.
 
Truthfully i'd be slamming the door on him if i were you, making sure it smacked him in the ass as he went through it.
 
Better you found out now that he's an ass hun

_____________________________

Aka missturbation

It's not shopping if you buy 10 items or less.

If it fits in a toaster, i can cook it.

What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Prov

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 9:03:23 AM   
MissEnchanted


Posts: 510
Status: offline 		You can have feelings of love for someone but that doesn't make it a good match.

He didn't trust you to have a different reason for being on cm.

You know the truth. He doesn't accept YOUR truth.
be kind to yourself....

Vent away...




< Message edited by MissEnchanted -- 4/2/2009 9:08:34 AM >

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 9:06:22 AM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Sad thing is that my internet had been shut off until just a week ago today so I wasn't even using it at all.

A couple weeks ago I found out I was diabetic and I was glad to have the forums for reference to see issues that had been discussed about how the condition has affected people.

Thanks everyone, it really does help.

(in reply to MissEnchanted)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 9:13:05 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Sounds like he was looking for an 'out'
Sounds like he needs to be shown 'out'
Sounds like you have bigger issues to deal with than his self-absorption

_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 9:49:18 AM   
Rainfire


Posts: 4047
Joined: 1/5/2009
Status: offline 		I agree with the others, it sounds like he was looking for any excuse to break it off. I'm here on CM for the boards and a few friends though Lumus (whom I met here on the boards) has moved on and is busy with other things. My profile clearly states that I am not looking. If your now ex couldn't believe you, it sounds like he has trust issues which could cause serious problems down the road. Painful as it is, better to find out now than to invest more of yourself and time in a no-win situation.

(And I'm also wondering.... If he "knows" so much about CM and that we're all here supposedly to just hook up and find someone, uhhhhh, what the hell was he doing here? Pot meet kettle?)

Best wishes and please - vent away. It's why we're here. Good luck to you!



_____________________________

"I have sold my soul to the devil for You, will You still love me when I am soiled, stained and souless in my love for You?
Or is this the beginning of the end?"
Proud member of the Clan Scarlett O'Hair

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 10:25:27 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		He's a jerk. Forget him.

Turn your jerk detector to the "on" position, before you go looking again.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 10:28:16 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		It was a sex only relationship, he wants something new, and he is too cowardly to admit it. Next time you may want to think better of getting permanent markings for a less than permanent relationship. Good luck getting the tat covered up.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 10:30:43 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Tattoo?

After six months.
Gulp.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 10:32:05 AM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Thankfully it wasn't his name, just the word pet.  I still don't mind having it.  Its just the idea that if I wasn't committed to him, why would I have bothered. And actually, sex had not yet occurred.  Thus maybe the issue.  Our distance, combined with a couple other things, prevented us from taking the relationship much further up to this point.

< Message edited by AngelGeena -- 4/2/2009 10:34:31 AM >

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 10:32:13 AM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Geena, there are those for whom commitment is a dirty word, and who will look for any excuse to get out of a relationship that is actually going to put them on the spot.

You have had a narrow escape, just think how much worse you could be feeling if you had invested even more time, effort and emotion on an obvious wanker who preys on others for his jollies.



_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 10:57:17 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelGeena
Sad thing is that my internet had been shut off until just a week ago today so I wasn't even using it at all.

A couple weeks ago I found out I was diabetic and I was glad to have the forums for reference to see issues that had been discussed about how the condition has affected people.

Thanks everyone, it really does help.

I see a different take on this, Geena. What I see from the details you've provided is a deeply insecure person. There are quite a few persons who cannot wrap their heads around a respective other's continued use of a site once they have seemingly found their mate. It's a transference and he's judging you by the criteria he himself used CM. Collarme is a personals site, it's where the bold and the beautiful create profiles in the hope of hooking up with like-minded folk. Then there's Collarchat, the forums that provide a platform to learn, gain insight, exchange ideas or simply just chill. To an insecure person that created their profile on the 'other side', the meat market, finding their mate still using it plunges them into the 'still available' category and nothing you can say or do will alter that in them.

All you can do is give yourself time to positively process the conclusion of this relationship, continue to grow and make wiser decisions regarding prospective others in the future. Good luck hon.


_____________________________

The Tooth Fairy who teaches kids to sell body parts for money.

A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 11:13:46 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelGeena

Thankfully it wasn't his name, just the word pet.  I still don't mind having it.  Its just the idea that if I wasn't committed to him, why would I have bothered. And actually, sex had not yet occurred.  Thus maybe the issue.  Our distance, combined with a couple other things, prevented us from taking the relationship much further up to this point.


This story gets better and better.  You have known him 6 months, a couple of those months the 2 of you were not talking. You have not had sex  <i can respect that tho I dont agree>  Now you got a permanent mark on you from this guy who is gone.  What were you thinking???

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 12:05:29 PM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline 		Thats what I keep asking myself. 

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 12:24:42 PM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Some of these posts of certain relationships often make me smile. Your affair was born of the net. So often, too much is assumed I think therefore.

Having this kind of control consumates in my opinion only after a sub/slave is living under her man's roof. Don't feel the chains of bondage and the soul in her service, stretch as long as 6 months or...as far as 4 hours.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 1:49:15 PM   
LovingDom86


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline 		Insecurity on his part that you should be thankful is manifesting itself while things are still relatively safe/impersonal.  (minus the tattoo... eek)

i.e. this issue of his could easily blow up in your face much later on during a potential life together.  Be happy he is showing his immaturity and distrust NOW.

I agree with everyone who said he may also be looking for an "out" and using this as his only ammo against you.  Do yourself and decent people around the world a favor and put him way waaaay in the past.  I hate when immature people call themselves "doms"

(in reply to MrRodgers)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Sorry for venting - 4/2/2009 1:56:45 PM   
justgemmie


Posts: 246
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Tattoo?

After six months.
Gulp.

ok, i'm with Kana on this one.   Six months ago you met someone, then broke up, then later hooked back up.  So you've actually been with him anywhere from 5 months to a couple days, hadn't even had sex yet (so i must question just how much time you've actually spent with him) ......... and you tatooed?  wow

i'm not saying love doesn't happen quickly .... i know it can and it sometimes does.  however, it's been a short enough time to simply accept you 2 didn't work out and let him go after a bit of grieving.  accept he's being unacceptable and let him go.  and "think before you ink"  (i like that DavanKael!)

_____________________________

"Being a Master to somebody or a slave to somebody is a relationship bound status. Without the relationship the status does not exist and all that is there is the potential or the natural inclination to fulfill such a status in the future." ~ ishyB

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Sorry for venting Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.063