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seaturtle50 -> RE: Down Right Horny!!! (1/28/2006 10:53:56 PM)
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quote:
It really isn't all 100 % about making someone else happy. It just simply can't be done all the time.. every step of the way. (ok unless Dom is an extreme sadist and thrives on making sub/slave totally miserable 100% of the time.. LOL)
It seems to me that like so many things in this life, this one is subjective and specific to the individual. i imagine there is a level of service (read to include all that makes Dom/me feel pleased) that really does not have anything to do with the Dom/me pleasing or making the sub feel happy or content. In this imagining, the sub (read me [:)]) is challenged to carry on in such service regardless of how he is feeling at the time. To develop a sort of finesse, and to go about that pleasing with dignity and a real attitude of gratitude. As part of the very process of submission. Service that has even more value when this sub may not feel like doing it, for any reason.
i also however, am of the belief that happiness is an inside job (with outside help). That it is not the Domme making sure to do things that cause me to feel pleased that creates my own feeling of happiness, but rather that i already feel that happiness and gratitude myself, and Her care of me and notice of my "needs" in fact serve only to enhance that which is already there.
So the reverse may also of course true, that i as sub am not responsible for the happiness of my Domme. i am to enhance that happiness that already is possessed by Her, and if she is unhappy, i need not think of what i must do to "fix" that, as it really is not my job in the first place. If she thinks that i may be able to assist Her in Her quest for happiness, She already has the absolute freedom to use me in that regard, or as She may otherwise see fit.
my personal ultimate goal is to become owned as a slave by Her (beginning as a submissive man), and this becoming a result more of necessity than decision. (more of a result of being compelled by Her than by Her claiming me as Her slave). In this regard, i am in some way saying and admitting that this is what in fact will make me happy. (This is probably why the choice to do so is so scary to this novice). (Good "scary" [:)])
This one understands that making such a choice is in truth saying that at that point and beyond, what my personal sex life is like is really none of my business. At least the decisions as to when, what, why, and how, of that sex life are not.
Being human, i realize that i may at some point feel within myself a feeling of "wanting more" or "wanting different" or lets just call it "wanting." These times will always be an interesting challenge to me, and an opportunity for me to perfect my surrender, as much as that is possible for me. i do so look forward to that.
st50
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