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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 12:21:37 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Hehe - i understand where you are coming from, Lovingpet - authority figures scare me also. Cops, doctors and so on. I am a nurse and I get whitecoat hypertension when i go tho the doc. Sounds silly -and it is, but  thats just the way i'm wired.


I also tend to respond this way to people I perceive as authority figures, although I actually wouldn't put doctors into that category. (Cops, definitely - which probably explains why I build so many deliciously terrifying fantasies around the idea of being arrested and imprisoned.) Like kiwisub12, I also tend to be too deferential for my good in most situations, especially face-to-face confrontations. The more slowly things are happening, and the less direct the interaction, the easier I find it to stick to my guns. I'm actually very independent on an intellectual level, but that doesn't translate well into the sphere of action and social relations.

The other side of my submissive (and in a sense masochistic) nature is that I'm aesthetically drawn to harsh, uncompromising authority, despite finding it scary, as well as to sadism. It's pleasurable to observe people with these characteristics from a distance, and exciting and unnerving to be close to them and/or under their control - probably more exciting if they're women, and more unnerving if they're men. I also have a notion that suffering, even of a fairly extreme variety, will contribute to my personal growth. Put it all together, and it adds up to a personality that was practically designed to be taken in hand and squeezed good and hard by someone like my Mistress. 

(in reply to kiwisub12)
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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 12:22:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		There is no trait. I am not naturally submissive. I'm simply inspired to submit to a man who is dominant in personality, someone who is a leader in life. I find that hot and sexy.

(in reply to servantheart)
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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 12:25:02 PM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		What Chamberqueen said........ I am a pleaser and giver...it gives me personal satisfaction and fulfillment.
One of my childhood memories involved brushing my Fathers hair, rubbing his neck...doing all the little girl things to make Daddy happy and how in doing them it made me happy too.  Must be why i melt when called "good girl"

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

No trait "makes" me submissive, but as a slave the trait that is probably most outstanding in me is the craving to take care of things.  That includes people, fixing things around the house, keeping things orderly, etc.  I am most comfortable when others around me are comfortable, and I like things to be just right. 




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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 1:15:37 PM   
honeygirl


Posts: 111
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline 		I'm like littlewonder in this way. Basically, I guess I would say it is some aspect of my sexuality that "makes" me submissive with a certain type of man.


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

There is no trait. I am not naturally submissive. I'm simply inspired to submit to a man who is dominant in personality, someone who is a leader in life. I find that hot and sexy.


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 3:20:18 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I don't have a core trait  being sumbissive is at my core. 

Matt's littleone 

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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 5:22:55 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Another one who just is submissive, not acting this way because of some other reason.

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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 6:29:29 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I don't see submissiveness as a core trait.  Being submissive is my core.  It's not an act.  It's  just who I am.  

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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 6:55:54 PM   
crazyredhead1957


Posts: 189
Joined: 12/10/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto

I don't see submissiveness as a core trait.  Being submissive is my core.  It's not an act.  It's just who I am.  


This actually makes more sense for me, too, than what i said earlier.  i always have been and always will be.  Can't imagine life any other way.

(in reply to kallisto)
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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 7:53:33 PM   
cpK69


Posts: 1593
Joined: 5/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside

What aspect of yourself, or what trait do you possess, "makes" you submissive? This could and should be at least slightly different for everyone, and it doesn't have to be typical or normal or acceptable or whatever. I'm just interested in hearing the truth, if you're able.



As far as personality goes, that which most enables me to be submissive, is a lack of personal desire.
 
Kim

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RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/4/2009 11:09:18 PM   
FelineFae


Posts: 7756
Joined: 1/23/2009
From: i do wander everywhere...
Status: offline 		Passion

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/5/2009 10:45:19 AM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I am not submissive in every aspect of my life.  It is a trait that manifests only in my intimate relationships and in that context, it fulfills me. 



This pretty much sums it up for me.

I *like* doing as I'm told. Of course, I also like purposefully ignoring some orders (this is in the context of my 'normal' life).

Despite all that, though... I just like making other people's lives better. It's part of the reason I love customer service type stuff... and why I fight almost daily with my desire to teach, versus my desire to serve others.


As a submissive, though, in the context of BDSM... well, my core aspect/trait is that I'm me :P there isn't any one thing that creates my submission beyond the fact that... I do it *shrug* it's part of who I am.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/5/2009 12:28:51 PM   
linda57


Posts: 6
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline 		I have to concur with Chamberqueen 100%

(in reply to NormalOutside)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/5/2009 1:03:11 PM   
greeneyedreamer


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline 		I would have to say my desire to make everyone happy. It's a curse and a blessing. It's me like it or not... so be it.

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(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/5/2009 1:12:35 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		barelynangel, fantastic initial post in the thread!  :> 
Hmmm, a few different things are coming to mind but if I had to come up with one idea (And, I might answer slightly differently though with similar ideology were the question asked again of me), I would say being necessary. 
  Davan

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(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/5/2009 2:10:14 PM   
InTonguesslave


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NormalOutside
What aspect of yourself, or what trait do you possess, "makes" you submissive? This could and should be at least slightly different for everyone, and it doesn't have to be typical or normal or acceptable or whatever. I'm just interested in hearing the truth, if you're able.

I hope everyone's having a great weekend.

(Legal jargon: Yes, I'm aware this has been discussed before, here and elsewhere, but what hasn't at this point? I'm interested in hearing the replies of current people in real time. )



well, for instance today, we were out walking in the woodlands near where i live. we were having an animated conversation about something, kindof vanilla in that it was just one of those moments where youre just hanging out and the convo was getting quite lively.  i tend to stride out a bit fast and when he's talking he tends to slow down.  he'd asked me a couple of times to slow down and i had and then my pace quickened again.  third time of asking and he used that tone in his voice that makes me stop what im doing and fall into place.  the rest of the walk and the picnic, without even thinking, i stayed happily in that place we call submission.

i wouldnt call it an aspect or a trait - for me its a reflex at times, an effort at other times and just something i am and i do the rest of the time without thinking.


< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 4/5/2009 2:14:20 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/6/2009 4:15:13 AM   
LAgirlsub


Posts: 158
Joined: 3/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

I am not submissive in every aspect of my life.  It is a trait that manifests only in my intimate relationships and in that context, it fulfills me. 


For as much as I know at this moment in time - ditto to this comment. I never knew until recently being with someone dominant and I'm not submissive in other aspects of my life (at least not that I'm aware of).

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/8/2009 1:49:41 AM   
jamelia


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/7/2009
Status: offline 		If I had to pick one thing about myself it would be my natural inclination to self sacrifice - and that is FAR from always being a good thing. It is something I try these days to more rationally control.

(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/8/2009 8:11:45 AM   
porcelain26


Posts: 181
Joined: 11/16/2007
Status: offline 		I've literally been submissive since the day I was born, though granted, I didn't know what it was called until I was 15. Nevertheless, submission is the foundation of my entire personality; without it, I am in every way, not the same person. If I have to pick out specific core traits that express that foundation, I'd say they're a need to be pleasing, a need to care for others, and a need to be accepted. I can't really explain why I'm submissive....I just am.

(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/8/2009 3:12:36 PM   
Aly055


Posts: 34
Joined: 2/23/2009
Status: offline 		I'm not really sure what my core submissive aspect or trait is I guess part of it at this point would be my openess to exploring new things.  I'm new to the lifestyle so I'm still figuring things out.  I naturally like to help people and I've always tried to please my parents and family to be what they expect me to be I guess, but lately I've realized that some of the things I thought I wanted were actually things that I was doing because it's what people were expecting me to do.  If you met me in person you would never guess me to be a sub actually my roomate and I discussed it some the other day and she was compltely surprised.  I'm very independent and opinionated however I'm always willing and actually like listening to anohter person's point of view that differs from mine.  Sometimes I'll still have my opinion and sometimes I may think a little different because of something you've said.  So yeah now that I've completley gone off topic my core submissive triat would be the openess but at the same time I still like to please the people I care about.

(in reply to servantheart)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: what is your core submissive aspect or trait? - 4/8/2009 8:43:55 PM   
sirslittleredass


Posts: 13
Joined: 11/2/2008
Status: offline 		My submissiveness comes from my desire to let go of my self and become part of something larger than me.  I think it's a lot like religious submission, determining your actions based on your god's will rather than your own.  The gift comes from being part of something larger than myself.

I also find that the devotional aspect of submission is really rewarding for me.  I can just love.  Nothing else polluting it, just love.

(in reply to Aly055)
Profile   Post #: 40
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