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RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 4/9/2009 10:55:54 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe

I was trying to say that "asking you out" online is not the same indicator of confidence that asking you out in real would be... but that wasn't my main point. I'll try to explain another way.

First impressions count... but not for long. If the people in your life are present because of how you appear on the outside, instead who you are on the inside, your life will be lonely, even if you're sharing your bed with someone every night of the week. I ate lunch at an Indian restaurant today. When I walked in, the owner saw me and said, "Hi my friend!" He always does this. And yet, I'm not his friend. I am "generous" to him because of a service he provides me. There are many people who commodify their friendships and relationships, and they go through life empty, even though they may be surrounded by others.

There are manipulators who try to disguise who they really are inside. I won't talk about them now. Decent, genuine people often do not reveal who they are to others, and they end up in shallow, crappy relationships, instead of meaningful ones. I've seen that happen for two main reasons: (1) the person is afraid to reveal who s/he really is; and (2) the person has no idea who s/he really is.

That's why it's dangerous to think in terms of "dating leagues." For long-term happiness, either as friends or lovers, it's far more important to know what really makes you tick, and what makes them tick, than it is to have a list of criteria that can be quickly observed. As a practical example for online dating, the two self-made millionaires I have dated -- both of whom spend time in the gym -- have never posted pics to their profiles. The second one I met during my brief stint on Match, and she left the income section of her profile blank, too. I don't know much about dating lez, but hetero men who search for pics or stats, instead of reading profiles carefully, have no idea what they're missing.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to asianchloe)

Post #: 181

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 4/9/2009 3:20:07 PM

LadyLupineNYC

Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Andalusite

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe
Is there such a thing?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC
Go for the Hermes crop!).

Here's one I found: http://www.alamy.com/stock_photography/5/1/Hugh+Threlfall/B348FE.html

I believe that one is from the fashion-company Hermes, but there is also an unrelated company called "Hermes Saddlery" which makes saddles and other equestrian goods. I haven't seen any riding crops from them, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if they make some.

Hermes originally was a saddlery firm...now they are better known for their Birkin handbags and scarves.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 182

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 4/9/2009 6:09:58 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

blushes, it's a takeoff of this poem: http://www.tuffydog.com/blake.html

LadyLupine, I didn't realise that! I thought they just coincidentally had the same name.

Panda, I believe asianchloe is saying that a lot of men want to date women who normally wouldn't want to date them, since they are too ugly/fat/old/etc. Some women will play with a man who doesn't meet her dating standards if he pays for it. Some women will have sex with a man who otherwise wouldn't meet their standards if they get paid for it. So, the men who are complaining that they can't find non-scamming, hot young chicks who will cater to their kinks and/or have sex with them need to either adjust their standards to reality, or else pay for what they want.

RedMagic, I agree that it's a good idea to go by the individual profile. I'm pretty flexible in many respects, but not at all in others. I don't see anything wrong with having age or weight or whatever restrictions, so long as the person isn't rude about it.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 183

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 4/9/2009 10:41:53 PM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

I think, dear Panda (and why are you burning bright, btw?) anywho...

Because nothing lights me up like parodying Blake!

And yeah, I sorta thought that was the meaning too, but something about it just didn't connect. It "felt" like she had a hold of something, but I couldn't quite see the whole of what it was.

_____________________________

Panda, panda, burning bright
In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Made you all black and white and roly-poly like that?

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 184

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 4/10/2009 12:01:20 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I asked because now you've got me saying "Panda Panda burning bright to my one of a kind "Panda Lion"...

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn198/xxxblushesxxx/pandy_7-21_31.jpg

http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn198/xxxblushesxxx/pandoralookingup.jpg

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)

Post #: 185

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/11/2009 7:00:38 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC

LOL...yeah...I fronted the money so my boy could come to NYC for the first time (though he did pay me back, that was up to him). Power comes from the access and use of money; that might mean your money, but it can just as easily mean MY money too.

(I need a woman like you that can take care of me in the style I've become accustomed to).

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)

Post #: 186

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/11/2009 7:28:48 PM

ZenDragoness

Posts: 372
Joined: 1/21/2006
From: Berlin/Germany
Status: offline

I think prostitution.

That term comes always in my mind when somebody is searching a contact with other people, and money is the first thing on their mind.

We have in german a good term and naturally it is meant for both men and women: Versorgungsprotitution, meaning a long term commitment that entails providing of money on the one side and providing sex or sm or being there or .... on the other.

Too often marriage is a kind of Versorgungsprostitution.

_____________________________

aka Morgaine289

http://goldenerkern.blogspot.com/

(in reply to Newsensation)

Post #: 187

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/11/2009 8:49:36 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

Most of the women on CM want money if they are under 30. Of course that's the age when prostitutes are most marketable. Most of the older women are sincere but they want 24/7 sugardaddies to support them. Either way, the women here want to be paid to be a dominant.

I know that most of the under 30 females here say they are not prostitutes because they don't have sex with their clients. OK, whatever. If a guy pays to be naked over a woman's knees to get spanked probably most laws would consider that prostitution. "Professional" is just another word for that age old profession.

You will find that the number of women drop after the age of 40. My guess is that guys don't want to pay for services from older women so they just don't hang out here. Just a guess though. As for young male subs -- they don't hang out here because women just don't pay for that kind of play.

I have no problem with professionals, but I originally came to this site in the hopes there were dominant women who didn't put a price tag on it. Some things never change.

(in reply to Newsensation)

Post #: 188

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/11/2009 8:59:30 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: asianchloe

Paying for a coffee when asking a woman out is not being "generous". It's called "having manners".
I, too, have noticed kinky guys to be (generally) less chivalrous, less doting, less "generous" of time and money. It's possible that in my experience, the vanilla men I date are more successful and wealthy because they're the ones with enough confidence to ask me out...the kinky men who want to meet me just might be more middle-class and have less disposable income for the fancy dinners and expensive gifts (but that doesn't make up for being stingy in other ways).

The dominant alpha males of the world are typically the ones that have the most income. Many women say they want a man that is sensitive or submissive, but when push comes to shove they will go for the alpha male every time.

(in reply to asianchloe)

Post #: 189

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 9:35:52 AM

Observer20

Posts: 25
Joined: 10/25/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Most of the women on CM want money if they are under 30. Of course that's the age when prostitutes are most marketable. Most of the older women are sincere but they want 24/7 sugardaddies to support them. Either way, the women here want to be paid to be a dominant.

I know that most of the under 30 females here say they are not prostitutes because they don't have sex with their clients. OK, whatever. If a guy pays to be naked over a woman's knees to get spanked probably most laws would consider that prostitution. "Professional" is just another word for that age old profession.

You will find that the number of women drop after the age of 40. My guess is that guys don't want to pay for services from older women so they just don't hang out here. Just a guess though. As for young male subs -- they don't hang out here because women just don't pay for that kind of play.

I have no problem with professionals, but I originally came to this site in the hopes there were dominant women who didn't put a price tag on it. Some things never change.

Well put....now watch the usual suspects disparage you and call you names for this post.

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 190

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 9:40:36 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

LOL...

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Observer20)

Post #: 191

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:15:29 PM

azjojoba

Posts: 513
Joined: 2/1/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Observer20

Well put....now watch the usual suspects disparage you and call you names for this post.

Most of the people here want to discuss fantasy instead of reality. They attack anyone who contradicts their preconceived notions. The attitudes here can be very closed minded.

(in reply to Observer20)

Post #: 192

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:19:30 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: Observer20

Well put....now watch the usual suspects disparage you and call you names for this post.

Most of the people here want to discuss fantasy instead of reality. They attack anyone who contradicts their preconceived notions. The attitudes here can be very closed minded.

Pot, meet Kettle!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 193

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:20:02 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

Most of the women on CM want money if they are under 30. Of course that's the age when prostitutes are most marketable. Most of the older women are sincere but they want 24/7 sugardaddies to support them. Either way, the women here want to be paid to be a dominant.

I know that most of the under 30 females here say they are not prostitutes because they don't have sex with their clients. OK, whatever. If a guy pays to be naked over a woman's knees to get spanked probably most laws would consider that prostitution. "Professional" is just another word for that age old profession.

You will find that the number of women drop after the age of 40. My guess is that guys don't want to pay for services from older women so they just don't hang out here. Just a guess though. As for young male subs -- they don't hang out here because women just don't pay for that kind of play.

I have no problem with professionals, but I originally came to this site in the hopes there were dominant women who didn't put a price tag on it. Some things never change.

I think that brings up the old question, what do you have to offer a dominant woman? The fact that you are married and try to sneak behind your wife's back to see a domme? A very tempting offer for any age group.

Some of us don't put a price tag on the things we do for fun (oh I forgot, I am over 30, I should be grateful for any guy who comes and asks, I guess - will I be required to ask "How may I dominate you today, Sir?" to show proper gratitude?) but we want it to be FUN, which means possibly a guy who has more to offer than the odd hour he can sneak away from the wife. Since you don't want to pay, you expect us to deliver the service pro-dommes deliver for free even if you call them prostitutes, with a guy coming around for a bit of kink and then going back to the wife, I would feel like a cheap hooker, actually a stupid one who doesn't get anything.

As for Observer, well, maybe if he would step away from his keyboard and stop fantasizing all the time, he wouldn't be quite so bitter, previously he was haunting a pro-domme board and screamed "Men are abused here" - duh, that made him immensely popular especially with the men who paid to get abused, but nice to see that he's off to poison other wells...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 194

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:21:48 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: azjojoba

quote:

ORIGINAL: Observer20

Well put....now watch the usual suspects disparage you and call you names for this post.

Most of the people here want to discuss fantasy instead of reality. They attack anyone who contradicts their preconceived notions. The attitudes here can be very closed minded.

Most of us actually have real life experience, some of us even live it... If you want to talk about fantasy, Observer will be an excellent person to discuss that with...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to azjojoba)

Post #: 195

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:33:30 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I say if they can get a guy to be "generous"..why the hell not?

I assume people on here are adults and if they want to give money or gifts to someone, so be it. If I could get a guy to pay all my bills and fix my home I'd take the offer!

Waits for the offers to roll in.....and waits..and waits.....

(in reply to DarkFury)

Post #: 196

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:39:37 PM

MoGa

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/25/2008
From: Hellizona!
Status: offline

quote:

Most of the older women are sincere but they want 24/7 sugardaddies to support them. Either way, the women here want to be paid to be a dominant.

quote:

Well put....now watch the usual suspects disparage you and call you names for this post.

First of all, I have no intentions of calling anyone names, and I am not one of the usual suspects who come out to defend myself here. But this statement is just as ridiculous as I have ever seen. I am an older woman here. I do not want to be paid in any way, shape or form. I do not need a man to save me or support me in any way. Such a blanket statement as the one quoted should be corrected to say "Some women here want to be paid to be a dominant".

What is wrong with a woman knowing what she wants and goes after it? What is wrong with a man who knows what he wants and pays for it? Why does it bother so many people on here who are not into this? If you aren't into a kink, stay out of it. Is that so hard to understand?

Truly there are subs out there who offer me money all the time to get their kink on, a kink that involves paying me. I don't put them down for it. To some submissives it IS their kink. I say a polite no thanks and move on. Jesus, how hard can that be?

MoGa

_____________________________

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(in reply to Observer20)

Post #: 197

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:43:49 PM

darklight17

Posts: 103
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline

You know, I think some of you are short sighting this issue.

1) If you can get paid to do something you like- yay!

2) You are upset because they have what you want, and there is a price tag on it? There are a lot of gold-digging vanilla chicks too.

3) You are missing the actuality of being a professional Domme. Imagine being young and cute, but dealing with obese hairy men for a living. I've known a few professionals, and trust me it isn't glamorous.

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Philosopher's favorite t-shirt.. Front- Nietzsche: God is dead. Back- God: Nietzsche is dead.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 198

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:44:17 PM

Andalusite

Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

I don't charge for BDSM or sex, but I have no interest in misogynistic cheaters, and I doubt any other women here do, either. Perhaps you'd have better luck with the men?

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 199

RE: What do you think of all the dommes seeking "g... - 5/12/2009 3:47:34 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Andalusite... I am so thankful I just swallowed as I was reading that... it still hurt, but it stayed in! (coffee, for anyone who has any smart idea's!) (lovingpet)

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Andalusite)

Post #: 200

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