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RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 10:27:49 AM

BlckM4subf

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

LOL I really enjoyed reading this forum. I feel that money does not make happiness. At one time I lived check to check and now I am on the road to where I want to be. I tell people all of the time. I would rather have a job where I am happy and getting by rather than making more money that I knew what to do with and being miserable because I did not like my job. It is nice to have money to just play with, but it is even better to have that true connection that makes you happy.

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 221

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 10:49:04 AM

greenamethyst

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/12/2006
Status: offline

ok here it goes,, my opinion, when i met my Hubby/Master after the first yessssss he is good looking and smart wore off i thought is he financualy secure?,, could he take care of bills with out robbing peter to pay paul, i struggled all of my life with money and having to dig in the couch for cig money and borrowing a five for gas at least twice a week off of my mom. i decided when i was ready to date again i was going to make sure he would be able to contribute to the cost of living,, after struggling for soooo long in my life i deserve to live comfortable with out worrying if i had to buy the cheap hamburger stuff or the good stuff, with out having to decide if we could pay the half of the light bill or put gas in the cars. yes this may be shallow but damn it i deserved to have something worth a damn in my life mainly Him.we are not by far rich, but we live with in our means, enough to have a cpl of hundred left over a month for screw off money. so yes i am one of the few who will admit, yes i made sure the man i dated and later married was capable of not being low income,if i had found out in the early stages of dating that he could not or was not capable of earning enough to support a certain finacal life style i was looking for we would not be together to this day,, i secured my future and made damn sure i was not going to eat ramen noodles 5 days aweek, i also know nothing in life secure so we both live for the moment and deal with things together as we go. i am however understanding not everyone can do this and i accept it. i just thought with my head and not my heart. and btw we have been together three yrs now we met in a local kansas yahoo chat room..

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 222

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 10:51:36 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySonelle
I would say that males generally tend to have an easier time of it financially.

You could just as easily say that, in general, women are more likely to be comfortable living off someone else and that a Man is more likely to stand on his own two damn feet!... But there are a LOT of exceptions to both your statement and mine!

quote:

I am Female, visually impaired and living on disability. I do what I can and enjoy My life. I can make moments of great luxury and wealth for Myself using very little,

I'm male, with spinal arthritis and living on disability. I do what I can which includes managing what I have so as not to LET things get out of control!

quote:

but EVERY bit helps and a financialslave would currently save Me from a very bad situation.

Sadly, Dominants who need money are frequently insulted or ignored by slaves who could otherwise easily aid them!

This is the part I WOULD never and COULD never do. I won't say it is wrong ... your business is your business... but I have too much pride to EVER do that!

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to LadySonelle)

Post #: 223

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 11:37:44 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Just for clarification, candy, which are you calling losers here? The people shunning are the people being shunned?

Hiya Mr Discipline. To me, A/anyone who values people based on T/their income is a fool. Is that a clarification?

candystripper

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 224

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 11:43:52 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

One of the amusing things of life is that very few people consider themselves selfish.

It is rather like in elections, people want better healthcare and better education but when it comes to voting, no one appears willing to pay the extra taxes needed but then when you vote it is secret and people can say, I voted for better services and higher taxes.

(in reply to candystripper)

Post #: 225

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 11:44:22 AM

candystripper

Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: shygirldesires

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

a desire to be taken care of financially -- which i consider a character flaw and short-sighted as hell.

As compared to making cosmetics and salon visits a hard limit.

Whether the water is 1 inch or 2 inches deep it's still shallow, and anyone diving into the pool or the person is likely to get hurt and should be counseled against it.

Maybe CM aught to have some sort of criteria for a women.... NEEDS HIGH MAINTAINANCE!
...and for the men....LIVES WITHIN MEANS

SHALL I APOLOGIZE FOR MY SARCASM NOW OR LATER??

shy,cumslut_DB

i tend to myself, by myself, and pay for the salon visits. i would gladly live in greater poverty to be richer in love.

candystripper

(in reply to shygirldesires)

Post #: 226

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 12:02:11 PM

OengusAnBearMor

Posts: 1
Joined: 2/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelRey

ok, this is going down hill, all this assistance abuse, pretty soon all the doms will be sitting on the front porch waiting for their checks...

lol

Or standing in line waiting to see a caseworker to see if they are eligible to recieve a "Dungeon Gear Voucher".and some "Whip Stamps"

(in reply to DelRey)

Post #: 227

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 1:35:37 PM

LostLenore

Posts: 35
Joined: 7/11/2005
Status: offline

That one should meet a financial standard to be a Dom/me is the most back-assward logic I've encountered in all my years of play. A good Dom/me needs only basic toys and a keen imagination to keep subs spellbound. Furthermore, we dominant females have the law of supply and demand on our side. My subs know that to keep my attention they'd better supply whatever I demand.

Not that I expect subs to support me any more than they should expect me to support them, but if there's going to be a material exchange, let's be realistic. The dominant usually puts more forethought, planning and work into a scene than the submissive does, so S/He deserves compensation if there is any involved. I have no qualms about telling subs to buy equipment they want to experience or fetish objects they want me to wear. If they treat me to dinner, bring me gifts or do chores around the house, so much the better.

Would I let living in semi-poverty prevent me from expressing my sexual fantasies? HELL NO!!! What a load of elitist crap. Actually BDSM is a temporary equalizer of class and income because where you live, what brands you wear and what kind of car you drive cease to matter within the confines of consensual power exchange. When I have someone bound and helpless, it matters little whether they work at a fast food joint or major law firm. I bet they don't wonder about my educational attainments or credit rating either.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 228

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 1:39:00 PM

wild1cfl

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

It certainly is not wealth that makes a person a Dominant, it is something that is born within them. Much the same with a slave.

Wild

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 229

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 2:02:46 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

With the current economic climate, I guess I could put together an impressive list of financially disenfranchised Alpha Males. This list wouldn’t be including those who are on pensions due to illness or injury either. Yet it is a combination of those very people who are involved or have been involved in the general BDSM scene and who are now being shunned or not accepted because the are not according to some, successful. All they have lost id their ability to achieve a reasonable income. I certainly do speak from personal knowledge to some degree here.

There is a difference between a strong dom(me) who has fallen on hard times, and a dom who chooses (for whatever reason) not to become financially independent. Absolutely NO ONE is immune to reversal of fortune.

There is also a difference between a dom who chooses love (of art, animals, others, whatever) over financial gain, and a dom who just never considered the future.

Money is not important. (except when you don't have any...then it can become everything.) But...to me...someone who has a dream, and a plan to implement it...would be more desireable than a trust-fund baby without goals and an eye to the future.

And people who judge others by their financial worth...are missing the genuine treasure.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 230

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 2:18:34 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I agree with all of this, but with one proviso. "Getting by" is all right as long as you are TRULY happy with your life. Otherwise, having more money than you need makes things a lot easier. But I agree with you that sacrificing happiness for money is never a good deal.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlckM4subf

LOL I really enjoyed reading this forum. I feel that money does not make happiness. At one time I lived check to check and now I am on the road to where I want to be. I tell people all of the time. I would rather have a job where I am happy and getting by rather than making more money that I knew what to do with and being miserable because I did not like my job. It is nice to have money to just play with, but it is even better to have that true connection that makes you happy.

(in reply to BlckM4subf)

Post #: 231

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 2:33:08 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

If money is viewed as freeing up ones time, then to me it is very important but if my time is consumed by chasing money then it isn't. Time is the most valueable asset for everyone I would imagine, as it is a constantly deminishing asset.

Unfortunately for most of us we have to make a balance between spending time earning money so we can have free time. Money in itself is pointless but what money can buy is important if the commodity one is buying is free time. That is my take on it anyway.

I would spend my money on a sub but I've spent enough money in the past on a marriage and that is an expensive lesson I have learnt and won't do that again.LOL

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 232

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 3/25/2006 2:34:52 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I've read through most of the posts to this and it seems that defining the specific dynamic the Dom/Domme is entering into would be in order before actually making comment (from the Dominant's perspective).

If it's an online situation, obviously finances are not an issue, for either side.

If it's an occasional "play" situation where residences are different and the major interaction is scening, again, I don't see where their status or income level has any bearing, providing they have the means to own tools & toys.

BUT, if they (again from the Dominant's perspective) are relocating someone to come be with them, where they are planning on being the sole supporter, then their financial stability should be an issue. Note, I said financial stability. Many folks are very good at managing their money and their stability has little to do with their income level, please don't misread this. I think that before someone (Dominant) would take on a member to their household, they would want to examine if they are financially capable of doing so comfortably, IF (note the IF), they are going to be the only one working. Likewise, if a sub or slave is intending on joining up with their prospective Dominant, they should have some degree of comfort knowing that they will be housed, fed and clothed at the very least. Of course this is likely not as much or even an issue at all if both (or more, depending on the dynamic) are going to work and bring in income, only if they are the sole supporter.

Myself, I WANT to be the only "breadwinner", I actually insist on it as it allows us to be much more flexible and I only have one schedule to contend with. No I'm not wealthy, but before entering into this situation I did take a step back and assure myself that if asked, could I afford to take on this responsibility, I could answer with a resounding yes.

So in conclusion; NO, the Dominant's income level has no bearing, but if they intend to be the provider of the only income in a 24/7 situation, yes, their "financial stability" should likely come into play.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 233

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 5:54:52 AM

bschwimmer

Posts: 630
Joined: 6/30/2005
Status: offline

Being almost homeless in the 80s now I am worth close to 1 million , but stuck here in Iraq. Money means nothing if you cant enjoy life. and to be in Gods favor

(in reply to ScooterTrash)

Post #: 234

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 7:33:53 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

Whether we like it or not, money along with social status are one of the ingredients that go into choosing a partner along with social status etc.etc. in the life style or out of it.

I'm quite sure money and status led to me being dumped once. She got her oh so elevating Masters and then promotion and a little more money and she thought she was above me.

I can buy and sell her now and travel far more than she could even if her work allowed her the time so now I feel rather smug.

Just playing on occasion is another thing, such things don't seem so important in that sphere.

< Message edited by meatcleaver -- 4/20/2006 7:35:51 AM >

(in reply to bschwimmer)

Post #: 235

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 7:41:38 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Where to start? No money isn't everything, of course. However, if you are with a Dom who doesn't work, who refuses to look for work and have to pay for just about everything, then money becomes very important. And how does one handle that? It's such a touchy subject and emotions run high on this specific subject.

How does one "suggest" that he needs to get a job without being accused of nagging...especially when you're not 24/7. Just refuse to pay for anything? Ok, but be prepared to stay in ALL the time.

And how does one handle her own internal issues? I am anything but a gold digger, but I get tired of paying all the time. Or I should say, I got tired of paying....

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 236

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 7:46:32 AM

stacyandjohn

Posts: 27
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

Thats right money does not matter for slave/dom relationship ....But i Would always help my mistress if she need money .....Because i love mistress not money

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 237

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 8:36:26 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

As a few have eloquently stated there is a vast difference between being financially stable, which I believe is crucial, and saying one needs to be wealthy to be a successful dominant.

Being financially stable means having a well ordered mind capable of self discipline and is in fact independent of financial means except at the most extreme ends of the spectrum.

How many lottery winners end up broke and how many single mom's keep the bills paid even though they are on the opposite ends of the financial spectrum?

In my experience in the scene in San Francisco, I know a truck driver who has some of the most well trained and beautiful submissives around and I know people with mansions who can't find a partner. I once did a scene in the hallway at a party with a single housekey and I am sure that scene is burnt in the memory of both of us.

The only thing that buys happiness is hard work, growth, and introspection.

(in reply to stacyandjohn)

Post #: 238

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 10:48:37 AM

mtumwawaBwana

Posts: 541
Status: offline

the ole saying " money is the root of all evils" , i believe, it at its truest form. it breeds greed and selfishness. i am not saying i am totally against the green stuff (or in canada....the colourful stuff), i came from a very wealthy family and was forced to choose between my children and my fathers monies. obviously, i chose my children.

money can not buy love or happiness, those who believe this are sadly fooled and will die lonely and unloved.

i do not know anything about my Masters financial matters. it is none of my business. He is the one in control and handles all matters. i feel lucky He will allow me to maybe work after 2-3 years. i am not after His monies. i do not need to. i am well able to earn enough to support my self and have been since i was 14. i own my own home and do not have any notes outstanding against it. my car is also paid for. i put myself through many years of college. i am with Master because i desire to be as much as He desires me to be His. there is more to life than greed and selfserving existance. there is love, devotion, caring, pleasing, pleasuring, happiness, .....i could go on and on and on.

in the end... money pays the bills and helps put food in bellies. that is it . life is about what is in Oones heart and soul. it is what Oone sees when looking into the eyes of Aanohter. it is that unspoken bond when Oone looks at the Oother, or hears Ttheir voice, or smells Ttheir scent, or feels the touch of Ttheir flesh against Ttheir own.

life is about wanting the other to be happy and content. it is about pure love.

im just a wallflower and this is just my own opinion , for what its worth

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 239

RE: Low Income Dominants. - 4/20/2006 10:53:44 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mtumwawaBwana

the ole saying " money is the root of all evils" , i believe, it at its truest form. it breeds greed and selfishness. i am not saying i am totally against the green stuff (or in canada....the colourful stuff), i came from a very wealthy family and was forced to choose between my children and my fathers monies. obviously, i chose my children.

The quote is actually "want of money is the root of all evils" - i.e. greed - which goes quite well with your point, but you really should have the quote right (since it actually goes better with your point than what you posted).

(in reply to mtumwawaBwana)

Post #: 240

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