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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:26:34 AM   
colouredin


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quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
Don't worry though, nature programmed you to be this way and there's a good chance your hearts keeper likes you being this way; it helps fend off his insecurities over a gorgeous little slut like you.


Nature programed what? How can in one parragraph you say that she is 'this way' because of experience then say its just that she is inherantly the way she is? Seems a little contradictory.


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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:27:44 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
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From: in the palms of His hands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I'm afraid to say it, but porn's not acceptable to me. Making porn together is one thing, but voyeuring it... nah. Gross: it would feel too much like betrayal.

I have a flame retardant suit on, so people can spout away at me with the "puritan/hypocrite/censoring/jealous/insecure" epithets  :-) .


Why would anyone flame you kittin, it's just the way you feel and view porn, no big deal. Just like I wouldn't expect you to flame me cause of my views.

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?


NO!

I suppose if said person wasn't touching me anymore, and our relationship was going down the tubes, I might ask myself why he was turning to that instead of me. If it's a substitute for interacting with one's partner, I would take the time to have a conversation with my partner.
With regard to our relationship, we look at it together and separate.

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:28:41 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		If I found out my partner was into watching porn I would only wonder why they'd been hiding the fact.

Personally, I don't care for it. It's just not "pretty". The women are usually overly made up, overly plastic.......just yuck. And I don't EVEN want to see naked men...cringe.

But, no, definitely not a fear or a relationship ending. BUT........great ammo for me!


_____________________________

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:30:14 AM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Yeah and then we can wander into questions of what is the difference between porn and art lines quite thin, I think really the biggest difference is the motivation. I find parts of Nine Songs beautiful, the camera angles and music in the kitchen scene are stylistically fantastic, but I still get off on it. It wasnt made as porn though so it is sllightly different evn though I use it a porny way.


Bingo: if it's beautiful in my eyes, then I don't mind it. I just have a huge dislike of overexposed mechanical flesh shots.

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:31:02 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

except that my heart has no master - that's as alien a concept to me as worshipping a wooden torture instrument.



I'm certainly sorry to hear that, such a tastey little cup of pudding should be certainly be introduced to her most radiant beauty.

The mastered woman has no more stunning an equal...


. o O (fuckin' Goreans)

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Bull



I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:31:18 AM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Seems a little contradictory.



It's in his genetic makeup :-) .

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:35:46 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline 		Reading this thread make me think of the kink.com thread and why people might not like the ads. The ads are just too gynecological. If you just see the mechanics there's not much to enjoy.

Maybe some people feel that way about porn too. It just seems too mechanical. When you know people are just getting paid to do or be done to, it takes the voyeuristic pleasure out of it.

< Message edited by hlen5 -- 4/6/2009 11:36:24 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:45:38 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Several years ago, the girl I had dated, made a few porn movies. On one of my trips to see her in LA, I went to the studio with her. There is certainly nothing erotic in the process. It's just a business. One geared towards men's greatest weakness.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to hlen5)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:46:10 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin


quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
Don't worry though, nature programmed you to be this way and there's a good chance your hearts keeper likes you being this way; it helps fend off his insecurities over a gorgeous little slut like you.


Nature programed what? How can in one parragraph you say that she is 'this way' because of experience then say its just that she is inherantly the way she is? Seems a little contradictory.



Hold on there sugar plum farie; I said I gathered she might be like or dislike, act or feel certain ways about things like many others that I have witnessed or seen in my experience, not her experience.

And yes we all have internal motivations inspired by thousands of years of developemental conditioning. It's only since Suzan B. Anthony that it has been popular to deny these traits, even if before it there might have been Broom Hilda's that had long been pissed at the cutural norms.

Which by the way many females will attest to the old adage of being careful about getting what you wish for.

Nature does program a female to want to be the favorite the stud maintaining dominaion over her. She is then "assured" to be cared for. It's a hunter'gather thing. You can deny it or say that way have evolved past that if you like. In my experience we haven't at all. JUst watch a bunch of High School kids establish their pecking order, they have no idea that nature is fast at work establishing which stud takes rights of the prom queen. You also have to ask yourself why it's so relished to be that girl most valued girl.

A breeding we will go, a breeding we will go, hi ho the dario, a breeding we will go...

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull



I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:48:21 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Several years ago, the girl I had dated, made a few porn movies. On one of my trips to see her in LA, I went to the studio with her. There is certainly nothing erotic in the process. It's just a business. One geared towards men's greatest weakness.


*reminds me of the episode in Californication*
it was funny though! but so true...first the chick with that pussy..n then the
WE NEED A STUNT COCK!!!

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:49:53 AM   
xBullx


Posts: 4206
Joined: 10/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Seems a little contradictory.



It's in his genetic makeup :-) .



Such a sweet little cheap shot...

Or perhaps it's just becoming hard to honestly rebuke my commentary.

It's life I was only commenting on the parts you were making public.......meow.

_____________________________

Live well,

Bull



I'm not an asshole; I'm simply resolute...

"A Republic, If You Can Keep It."

Caution: My humor is a bit skewed.

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 11:56:33 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		You used to have a sense of humour: I'm sorry it seems to have deserted you and that we're no longer able to banter together - it used to not matter that we were both on the opposite sides of the spectrum. Remember those days, Bull  ?

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 12:03:38 PM   
SilverMark


Posts: 3457
Joined: 5/9/2007
Status: offline 		I fear porn also....I fear I will enjoy watching it so damn much I might not leave the house.....EVER!.... 



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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 12:10:29 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xBullx
Superficial societal indoctrination perhaps; but most likely it stems from feelings spawned by prior relationships that seemingly validated these societal stereotypes that initiate selfishness inspired by insecurity.

Don't worry though, nature programmed you to be this way



Hmm despite the patronising response here it seems you are advocating BOTH nature and nurture in the same breath whether its 'in your experience or not' its still a contradiction in terms


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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 12:33:49 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?


I'm afraid to say it, but porn's not acceptable to me. Making porn together is one thing, but voyeuring it... nah. Gross: it would feel too much like betrayal.

I have a flame retardant suit on, so people can spout away at me with the "puritan/hypocrite/censoring/jealous/insecure" epithets  :-) .


Kittin, I can't believe it, you're a Pornophobe!

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 1:19:58 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
The fact that these women were throwing their hands up in utter outrage to me will prevent men from feeling they can be open about this kind of thing, I have recently been talking with a man who harbours so much shame its appaling really. I think that is something worth getting worked up over. What about you guys? Does anyone here think that their partner watching porn is a good enough reason to end a relationship?


Maybe it's one of those circle things.  You know, running around in?
 
In my current relationship, my answer is no.  However I can see that it can lead to a reason to end a relationship depending on the context.  If people do not talk about and be honest about it then yes, I would find it pretty lame and the relationship then sucks.  Some people hide it.  Then it sucks.
 
Some people watch really bad porn - seriously it would suck... I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone who liked debbiedoesdallas kind of porn.  Too me that is bad taste and pretty immature porn.
 
So sue me - I am a porn snob.
 
the.dark.

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 1:23:38 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin


quote:

ORIGINAL: sophia37

Men are visual. They are wired differently than women. So they watch porn. And so? I don't understand why some women find "porn" degrading. I personally don't take it personally.


I clearly am abnormal then because I like porn too. I must be 'wired' like a man

quote:


I do know, women are wired to want men to desire them and them only.


Hmm again not true, being a poly person I am not wired to any such thing.

Sorry I am not trying to be rude here but the idea that we are that different has no real basis and is really counter what I am trying to say. I mean I find it so funny, recently a friend of mine decided to have a conversation with his partner and was totally floord by the fact that she masterbated while he wasnt around. Seems to me that these gender generalisations arent always true



Yeah, I like some 'porn' but then I can get off to aural stimulation too.  Films, music videos - who gets to define what porn is anyway?
 
And for the record, I am female, I watch pornographic works and I am monogamous.  I am just seeing way too many crass stereotypes and I know for a fact they are false because the majoroty of women I know enjoy porn.
 
the.dark.

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 2:07:20 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:


I clearly am abnormal then because I like porn too. I must be 'wired' like a man


This would make two of us because I like porn to. It has to be good porn though, preferably BDSM Femdom porn for us. He can wank off to it as long as he asks permission and I tell him when or "if" he can cum.

I think some people are just very insecure and some truly find it distasteful. But that is their bag, not mine. Bring on the porn!

~Lashra


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 2:11:19 PM   
Lashra


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Joined: 2/9/2006
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quote:

I do know, women are wired to want men to desire them and them only.


Most men are the same way, they want "their" woman to want only them and some feel very betrayed if she looks at another man. They can feel even more threatened if another male comes close to "their" woman. My male sub claims he does not have a jealous bone in his body, but you let some man "look me over" and flirt with me. He is ready to rip their head off lol so much for not being jealous.  So yes as far as I am concerned my experience has been that this works both ways, only women I think are more verbal about it.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Fear of Porn - 4/6/2009 2:14:30 PM   
Lynnxz


Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline 		>.>

I could care less really... I send him porn links all the time.

quote:

It's in his genetic makeup :-) .


*snort*


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Profile   Post #: 40
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