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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/7/2009 6:00:21 PM

pixidustpet

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~fast reply after reading other replies~

i dont mind porn one way or the other. my only objection to it is this:

if spending time with porn is something you have to hide, if its something that is interfering with your day to day activities, if its hurting your relationship(s)....then it might be time to reconsider your taste for.

but that's me.

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/8/2009 2:45:06 AM

colouredin

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People keep saying its a problem if people feel the need to hide it. Which was one of my points if we act outraged about porn then its no wonder that the person may feel ashamed or embaressed about it. The problem then is more with other people than them

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/8/2009 5:30:13 AM

MarsBonfire

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Colouredin has a good point. Pornography... whether it's in the form of video, magazines, or books is not harmful in and of itself. It's a response to a desire on the part of the population (or at least a part of the population) much the same way gambling, or alcohol or other "vices" are. The problem comes when an individual becomes obsessed with it, in which case they are dealing with a severe personality problem.

"The fault lies not within our porn, but within ourselves." -Shakespeare. (paraphrased)

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RE: Fear of Porn - 4/8/2009 10:05:29 PM

Jeptha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Another reason was a break down of communication, really? Well see I masterbate a lot, I dont think it needs to be talked about, seems that its more an issue with porn. As if its dirty and sleazy well another way to disempower I think. Also I dont really get the idea that wanking means that people are not sexually satisfied, I think of masterbating as being something so different from sexual intimacy. But then maybe thats just me.

The fact that these women were throwing their hands up in utter outrage to me will prevent men from feeling they can be open about this kind of thing, I have recently been talking with a man who harbours so much shame its appaling really. I think that is something worth getting worked up over....

Women who get upset over a partner viewing porn remind me of men who get upset or feel threatened over a woman who gets off with a vibrator.

It really does just have to do with masturbating.
(Or, sometimes, with getting off in general...)

I wonder if guys even "want" the girls (or the guys) in the porn, necessarily, as everyone seems to assume. That might be a good question for another time. I have my doubts, as, while some porn is strikingly beautiful, all of it is more or less negligible. (Meaning, what you got off on today you may not miss twice if you never saw it again.)

But, back to the masturbation/fantasy idea: I don't find it threatening if my female partner fantasizes about someone other than me while she masturbates, or while we're having sex, with possibly one distinction; that her fantasy not be "fixed" on one particular person, but varied, similar to how in porn the cast is often somewhat hazy and anonymous, without fixed identity.

If her fantasy were fixed on one person whom she constantly fantasized about, then I would wonder if she had a thing for that person, and that would be a whole other issue to clarify.

Otherwise, though, and in summary; it's all just fantasy-land, idle fantasy (well - and getting off in general), which I like to be fairly boundless (within the relationship, that is), as much as is possible.

< Message edited by Jeptha -- 4/8/2009 10:14:43 PM >

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