RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (Full Version)

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Lynnxz -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 4:05:16 PM)

Wear what you want!

Even when I top, I'll wear collars when the fancy strikes me, because C has made me some gorgeous ones this past year.

If I am at a club, I really could give a s--- if someone thinks I am dressed 'wrong'



peppermint -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 4:24:18 PM)

My answer to all your questions is..

It's none of my business what others do, or how they do it, or what anyone wears.



LovingMistress45 -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 4:50:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

quote:

The worst? I saw a women in a collar (not a switch) leading a guy with a collar on a dog chain


from another thread got me thinking. Many people support the "there's no true way" and "make BDSM whatever is right for you" theories, but then there's something like this. The quote was made in context of public play, does that change anything?

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?
If that is what they want to wear it is up to them. I would not wear one.
How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?
A lot of people wear them and it  has nothing to do with BDSM much less being owned. So, if someone chooses to wear one it is up to them.
Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?
No.
Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?
In any situation that is BDSM related I assume a person wearing a collar is an owned sub/slave, unless the collar says Mistress or something. If I don't know I err on the side of caution.
What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?
To each his own, some are Tops/bottoms and do not want a D/s or M/s dynamic. No problem.



Aneirin -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 5:08:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

quote:

The worst? I saw a women in a collar (not a switch) leading a guy with a collar on a dog chain


from another thread got me thinking. Many people support the "there's no true way" and "make BDSM whatever is right for you" theories, but then there's something like this. The quote was made in context of public play, does that change anything?

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?
How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?
Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?
Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?
What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?


I believe people should wear what they want, there are no rules to what can be worn, for either gender. I think collars are cool, I may wear one, when I have constructed one, but my idea of things, is I use the wearing of items of jewellery to advertise my skills, when I can be bothered. Other than that, I just like being different and confident in my difference.

The last person I saw wearing a collar in my town, a real padlocked collar, very bdsm, I congratulated her on being so brave to be out in a small minded town such as mine wearing the thing, she in response was very gracious. She knew I knew the significance and I am totally cool with it.

As for doms wearing collars, why not, when in reality, they are bound to their sub, why not a joint collaring to show the devotion to their art and each other.

What about the doms then, do they wear an item of jewellery given by a mate, a necklace perhaps, could that not be looked upon as a collar , a secret collar perhaps ?

People playing in public, what is wrong with that, maybe they have exhibitionist tendancies, who knows, but if what they do does not harm or offend anyone, where is the problem. Those that are offended, and don't want the display, perhaps they would do well to say so, tell the people involved, or forever hold their peace, as there is no point bleating after the fact, when something could be done about it at the time. There is of course, the voyeuristic enjoyment of watching people at play, so I have no problems, it is good to see people enjoying themselves.



Tslaveboy -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 7:54:48 PM)

Some people just feel undressed if they aren't wearing something on their wrists, ankles and neck. So I can understand someone who is dominant wanting something more substantial than a lightweight chain. That sort of makes sense.

Then there are those who have no idea of the culture and will just make a BDSM faux pas.



subtee -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 8:08:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

quote:

The worst? I saw a women in a collar (not a switch) leading a guy with a collar on a dog chain


from another thread got me thinking. Many people support the "there's no true way" and "make BDSM whatever is right for you" theories, but then there's something like this. The quote was made in context of public play, does that change anything?

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?
Not so much.

quote:

How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?
I would probably assume they don't intend it to relate to BDSM

quote:

Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?
No

quote:

Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?
No

quote:

What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?
I don't go, but if I did it would be cool with me. I don't think a club would necessitate the expression of TPE.



MarcEsadrian -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 9:14:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HeavansKeeper

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?



Confused, to say the least. While I do not bother with cloying collaring ceremonies, I do hold symbolic significance in the collar itself to a degree. Wearing a ringed band of metal or leather material fastened around the neck is usually the province of kept animals or slaves. I know I'm biased in my views on the significance and appropriateness of the collar because of that.

The trend of the young wearing collars (usually procured from such prestigious sources as Hot Topic) as a fashion statement amuses me. Sometimes the subtle suggestion of a collar in fashion, however, is nice. Even bejeweled chokers strike me as collars of a sort, and I've always felt that is the ornamental allure of them, at least in part (or I'm just too much of a pervert). The tawdry o-ringed vinyl collars at one's local fetish shop that say "MISTRESS" across them give me a spontaneous ice cream headache, however.




MissEnchanted -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 9:42:23 PM)

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?
I love seeing collars for Dominants.
I consider them jewelry. Mine is lovely, studs and all.

How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?
Whatever, it's their business and it's jewelry.

Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?
No, I like it being an open choice.

Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?
No, a lot of fun fet wear is popular where I live.

What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?
Their business, not mine. It is what they want I guess, so I am fine with it.






AlexandraLynch -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/7/2009 11:33:36 PM)

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?
I tend to assume people in collars are submissives or slaves. I see no reason to alter the assumption for the vagaries of fashion. If they are offended by my incorrect assumption, they can either state their orientation up front, or take off the collar.

How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?
It does let me know they feel themselves to be on the sub end of the spectrum. But I tend to feel collars are for relationships. They are for me, anyway.

Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?

You can try, just let me know so I can bring popcorn and watch. (laugh) I don't try to make people I don't own adhere to my standards.

Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?

Generally, yes. But I try to be polite to everyone, and expect it back. I tend to work "your Dominant" into the first couple minutes of the conversation, and give them a chance to say, "I don't actually have someone" or "Ma'am, I'm collared to Sir Big, the gentleman over there in the red shirt."
What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?
Their business, not mine. It is what they want I guess, so I am fine with it.



colouredin -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 1:33:14 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

[The trend of the young wearing collars (usually procured from such prestigious sources as Hot Topic) as a fashion statement amuses me.



Why does it amuse you? I have been pondering this over night as you do and I had a look in my wardrobe to find I have a wonderful white shirt, on the back has a large blue number 9 and above that the name Beckham. I dont play football, this to me is no different.



DemonKia -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 1:46:51 AM)

My answer to all of your questions is, whatever flips their wigs back; I have no interest in dictating +99.999999% of human behavior, especially that part which boils down to 'personal expression' . . . . . . .



kidwithknife -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 3:16:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
Why does it amuse you? I have been pondering this over night as you do and I had a look in my wardrobe to find I have a wonderful white shirt, on the back has a large blue number 9 and above that the name Beckham. I dont play football, this to me is no different.
I agree with that totally.  Fashion constantly reinvents itself, borrowing heavily from elsewhere as it goes.

And BDSM fashion is no exception to that.  I touched on how much BDSM owes to motorcycle culture before.  On top of that, while people often talk about how much the goth subculture has borrowed from BDSM, it looks to me like that borrowing has been entirely two way.

But everyone has their own little eccentricities and cultural baggage on this issue.  Because despite what I've just said, I still wince inwardly at the sight of 'ironic' Motorhead t-shirts....



marie2 -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 3:40:35 AM)

GR:

Not everyone who puts on a choker is attempting to wear a "collar", or even knows what a "collar" is.   I don't automatically think anything when I see someone wearing one, nor do I think certain peoplr should avoid wearing them for any reason.  

Chokers are just another type of necklace or jewelry and have been around for eons.   My guess is that it became a bdsm thing from the whole "pet" fetish thing.  It probably started out as someone getting a pet collar for their kitten/puppy/pet/sub/slave.  Who knows.  At any rate, we don't own fashion.



Lynnxz -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 4:48:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

At any rate, we don't own fashion.


Hear hear. 

Besides, the younger hot topic crowd generally looks better in the collars in the first place... nothing like seeing someone's neck fat swallow up half their "custom" collar.



CatdeMedici -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 6:16:09 AM)

quote:

How do you feel about dominants wearing collars?
Huge fashion faux pas IMHO


quote:

How do you feel about unowned people wearing collars in public venues?
  Teens do it all the time

quote:

Do you think we should strive for a more unified culture in public space?
Good luck, who is going to be the "governing body" and who is going to be the BDSM police? I don't think Mod 11 can be everywhere.

quote:

Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?
No

quote:

What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?

That's why they "play"---it's a hobby.



Venalismihi -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 6:25:04 AM)

All the following, just my opinion, so no need for sarcastic comments as I was asked for my opinion by the OP and not by anyone else here:
"dominants wearing collars?" Why would they?  
" unowned people wearing collars in public venues?" For me, confusing. Gone are the days when this clearly stated who was whom and the rest of us were in no doubt.
" a more unified culture in public space?" Long overdue. 
"Do you always assume a person in a collar is owned?" Yes, and why would I not, is that not what they are for? 
"What is your opinion of people who go to BDSM clubs (frequently or not, doesn't matter) to play, but do not keep a power exchange dynamic anywhere else?" Players. 



colouredin -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 6:31:27 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Venalismihi

All the following, just my opinion, so no need for sarcastic comments as I was asked for my opinion by the OP and not by anyone else here:
" unowned people wearing collars in public venues?" For me, confusing. Gone are the days when this clearly stated who was whom and the rest of us were in no doubt.
" a more unified culture in public space?" Long overdue.



Firstly, its a public forum so if people disagree they do have a right to say so its the nature of conversation.

Where there ever days in your life when people didnt wear them without the attached significance? I used to wear chokers when I was a young teenager, my sister is a goth and wears them all the time, and they were really popular in the victorian era

How can you unify personal relationships? Ask what a collar means, its very different to different people, there is no way of unifying it because people are only right to themselves.




Venalismihi -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 6:36:00 AM)

Ornamented chokers [no slave ring attached] are not collars. Ask what a wedding ring means... the collar is the same for me.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 6:45:23 AM)

I have to agree with Venalismihi

  there is a beauty of collars and benig owned and someone serving.  A kinda of magic when you make everything plain jane it kinda of looses it's sparkle or appeal. being true to something is being true to yourself. Kinda of like takeing a famous painting redoing it making it worse. Collars are for subs and slaves. Always have been. Trying to make a fashion statement is degrading and disrespectful to those who came before you been here longer and worked hard to keep lifestyle going  If everyone wants to mud out something really great  fine. But do not blurr reality and fantasy. Some of us still respect that of the past. .

kudos to you  Venalismihi



colouredin -> RE: Dominants Wearing Collars (4/8/2009 6:48:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64
Trying to make a fashion statement is degrading and disrespectful


Well then we are being disrespectful, the collar comes from a differant kind of slavery does it not? I think subverting the meaning is a good thing not a disrespectful one



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