Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care?

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Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/9/2009 7:28:26 PM

hurtmeloveu

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/25/2008
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This is a question particularly for an extreme dominatrix, you know who you are. You are the kind of woman that can make a man worship, fear, respect and love you in the way that only a true goddess can. There are not many of you out there. You do not turn your dominance on and off. You are completely in control and are very harsh in your punishments and your power is total. My question is, does a woman such as you respect a man more who goes out and works for a living over one who is your full time slave? I am particularly interested in a response from the harsher, female supremist type dominatrixes. My reason is ultimately that I would one day wish to serve a woman like that. Does she even have any respect for the slave or is he totally to be used. Remember please that I would be very interested in a reponse from a very harsh dominatrix.

But then do I even want your respect if I can serve you. The sad paradox is that my submission is that much more extreme when you have no respect for me.

Post #: 1

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/9/2009 7:49:47 PM

Araven

Posts: 149
Joined: 3/16/2006
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I think what you are looking for a pro-dominatrix, what you described is more-so a fantasy than anything realistic. People have bills, families, issues, all sorts of things that need tended to. Its just unrealistic to expect somebody to micromanage you so much in the fact that it basically becomes a full time job for the domme just to fulfill your kink. Nobody I know really wants that..

If a woman did not respect you, do you think she would want you to serve her? You would be worthless to her and there would be no relationship at all. I agree, it is a sad paradox that your submission is based on a lack of respect.

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(in reply to hurtmeloveu)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/9/2009 8:17:31 PM

DavanKael

Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
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I had a husband (Not submissive, not dominant) who thought work was highly optional for him. Sure did lose my respect after years and years. As theprevious poster said, I think you're not really looking at the reality of bills, responsibilities, etc. If you can find a lady whose needs you satisfy and who satisfies yours and she's well off enoughmonetarily that you don't have to work, well bully for you but I wouldn't count on it. I told my ex- that if we could afford it and he put out whenever and however I wanted and kept my house pristing, maybe. Yeah, that was so contrary to his idea.
Davan

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(in reply to Araven)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/9/2009 9:00:16 PM

DomineK

Posts: 18
Joined: 4/4/2009
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Employment does not equate respect for me. In this economy, I'd expect my slave to at least work full time or bring in income in other ways to at least earn his keep.

Disrespect gets directed toward liars, cheaters, and flakes...and I certainly wouldn't want to own them.

(in reply to DavanKael)

Post #: 4

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/10/2009 8:30:48 AM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
Joined: 1/22/2007
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It's a good question in some ways, but I really think the answer is one you won't like. I think this is a fantasy that stays better in the fantasy realm. Working outside the home, or being a total slave in the home would not make a bit of difference in your relationship. Either you will be someone she cares about and respects regardless of what you do, as long as you do it well. The relationship would be just that with each party giving and taking from it. OR you will be nothing more than another object in her life that she uses as needed, like a toaster. Does anyone repect their toaster? not really other than maybe making sure it stays functional. Your fantasy would be that you are micromanaged and that she takes total control of you all the time. But that's not going to happen in reality. She would likely give you a set of rules and expect you to follow them, and punish you as desired (her desire not yours) and really not focus much of her energy on you. When a slave becomes work they have lost the purpose in their owners life.

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(in reply to DomineK)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/10/2009 11:39:51 AM

Lockit

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Joined: 5/7/2007
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hurtmeloveu, have you ever had a relationship like you discribe? Your idea of a true dominant/goddess is your own and many would find your discription as not true... to them.

From what I know of myself and many others on these boards, you are discribing a fantasy dominatrix, rather than a living breathing human being who doesn't have the ability to send lightening through her fingertips and rule the world or at least her men because of the true goddess she is. There may be women out there that feel they are better than others and who will treat you the way you are talking about, but they are few and far between and I don't know one who believe's this. Personally I would like to see a goddess who can be a true goddess and not just a role as goddess.

And if there is a true goddess... what makes you think you would be good enough for her? I am not asking that to be sarcastic... I am realistically asking what you bring to the situation that would be attractive to a true goddess.

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(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/10/2009 2:59:43 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

My question is, does a woman such as you respect a man more who goes out and works for a living over one who is your full time slave?

I'm wondering why you think going out to work would make a slave less respectable, or less of a slave?

quote:

You do not turn your dominance on and off. You are completely in control and are very harsh in your punishments and your power is total.

Plenty of us are like that, without the requirement of harsh beatings, unless it's what we feel like doing that day.
You've your own vision of what it means, and that is half the work... So congrats, and welcome to the boards. M

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Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to hurtmeloveu)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 1:18:27 AM

hurtmeloveu

Posts: 2
Joined: 4/25/2008
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hereyesruponyou

quote:

OR you will be nothing more than another object in her life that she uses as needed, like a toaster. Does anyone repect their toaster? not really other than maybe making sure it stays functional.

I think the answer that I am getting is that in a pro-domme situation it would be possible to feel those extreme (fantasy) feelings or in a situation where the sub means nothing to the domme as per quote above. It is not really possible in a real world relationship where the domme respects the sub.

(in reply to hereyesruponyou)

Post #: 8

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 2:35:25 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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Dude
Read your profile, and it squicked the hell out of me, even though I'm a sub. You aren't happy with your vanilla girl, but somehow can't leave her (which would allow her to find someone who deserves what she has to offer, BTW) unless some UberDomme adopts you? WTF? I suspect (having never seen it before) that this is the male sub version of the oft-seen "damsel in distress" syndrome seen in many female sub profiles. That said, please wake up. It is not the job of either a Dom or Domme to fix your fucked up life, or rescue you from a situation that you knowingly got yourself into. Believe it or not, most D types want an s that can actually handle life without constant hand holding or micromanagement. The fact that you are looking to cheat on your unsuspecting girlfriend before dumping her is also one hell of a turn off for most, as BDSM relationships require honesty and trust to function.

As for your question, it has already been said that the whole "house slave supported by Mistress" thing is largely wank-fodder. It does happen, but it is certainly far from common. Real life involves things like paying bills, which most often requires everyone in the household to contribute financially to said bills. If you are waiting to be adopted by a Domme that will support you financially... good luck with that. If you want your "I'm a worthless worm who lives to serve you" itch scratched, then a pro is the way to go, as most of those seeking here are looking for a whole person and a real relationship. Serving as a life support system for a sub's kink really isn't on the Top Ten List for any Domme I've met yet, lol.

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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to hurtmeloveu)

Post #: 9

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 2:58:53 AM

LadySweetOrSour

Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline

All I see in your profile is "me, me, me". Without reading through the entire diatribe about your poor "girlfriend" and your bad treatment of this sad situation, my immediate thoughts are that you are a fantasist without a clue about the real world. You want what YOU want. You're not offering anything of value to this mythical super goddess you think is out there.

In other words, you are a do me sub. I have never met a dominant female who wants a do me sub, but good luck in your search.

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 10

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 3:03:06 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: hurtmeloveu

hereyesruponyou

quote:

OR you will be nothing more than another object in her life that she uses as needed, like a toaster. Does anyone repect their toaster? not really other than maybe making sure it stays functional.

I think the answer that I am getting is that in a pro-domme situation it would be possible to feel those extreme (fantasy) feelings or in a situation where the sub means nothing to the domme as per quote above. It is not really possible in a real world relationship where the domme respects the sub.

I am sure you could find someone who doesnt respect you, treats you like crap but then im thinking that in reality you wouldnt want that. Because in fantasy being treated like crap means that you are always being used, in reality if someone didnt respect you then you would more often than not be ignored not in a nice way, you want someone to fit your mould of what it means to be true and in so doing babying you. The two dont match, but honestly if you want someone who doesnt respect you then you are more than welcome to message me im sure I could do an ok job of it.

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(in reply to hurtmeloveu)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 3:57:50 AM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

I think people that have seen me post know I don't flame on the boards, I don't know if it's fact of the early morning hour and I can't sleep to my allegies being bad, and I apologise in advance to all that read this, but I read your post, which prompted me to read your profile, well as much as I could stomach any way, and all I can say is you're an ass.

Just who do you think you are? You string some poor girl along, blaming her because you don't have the balls to break up with her (because she throws herself at you and is so nice), and oh yeah, "she's" insecure, then you meet a Domme, who you probably wasn't honest with in the first place regarding your situation, and you blame her, for you two not being together, because you said "she" was insecure, mainly because she didn't take charge and help you cheat and fix your life, um....how about she didn't follow through with you because you HAVE A GIRLFRIEND???

Reality, you just don't want to be alone, so you want to overlap women. As others have said it's all about you and what you want and screw everyone else, you couldn't care less who you hurt as long as you are taken care of.   You b.s. and say you can't break up with her because she's so nice, no...you don't break up with her because you don't want to be alone, because of said "perfect" Domme came along, I'm sure those long lost words would come spilling out of your mouth. And how dare you blame those women because "you" are not happy. You know who has to make you happy? YOU.

If you are not happy with your girlfriend, grow a pair, and let her go so she can find "her" TRUE one of her dreams....yes sweetie, other people besides you have dreams. And what is all this bull crap about true, genuine, real....lemme guess, anyone that won't do exactly what you want is not those things?

THEN do research on actual Domme/sub situations, if you can live with it, go and find a Domme who "you" can compliment. If you just wanted to be regarded as a total piece of crap, the I would suggest a pro, they do not get emotionally attached.   I would not have someone in my house, and in my life in any role, be it slave, parent, D/s, vanilla or whatever that I didn't respect and trust.

And believe it or not, somewhere in that self absorbed body you do have feelings or at least I hope so....say you are with a Domme for a while, you can't tell me you won't get attached, but guess what? if she didn't respect you and treated you like a piece of furniture after a while you get tired of that furniture and want to redecorate...she would kick you out, no warning, no place to live, then where would you be? And you can't tell me by that time you wouldn't have feelings for her...then I guess just too bad huh? I've talked to subs/slaves before, they have been with Dommes five years or more and one day they are just told to pack and get out. And these guys were in a loving relationship with their Dommes, but for one reason or another the Domme decided they didn't want the lifestyle any longer, so they are just uncerimoniously kicked out...and usually with no explaination.

If you want lack of respect....you have it in abundance here. You want to be a man, take charge of your life and realistically find a mate for yourself, then do just that.   Get out of your situtation, become free and clear. Then get out of the mirror and admiring how "handsome" you are, find some humility, rewrite that sorry profile of yours, and mean it....and find someone.

Slaves/subs are strong men. Confident in their path that they chose to take. Not some wimpy wishy washy doormat, that can't think for himself. You have to get your life in order and not depend on someone else to do it for you. Bottom line, YOU have to stop being insecure and clean up your mess before you can start a new relationship. YOU have to fix your life before you can bring someone else into it.

"climbs off soapbox"........I"m going back to bed. Sorry again folks for the tirade, guess I'm just not a morning person....lol

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(in reply to hurtmeloveu)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 4:16:36 AM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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Just... wow, DJ.

I suspect that your post might disappear, but I hope the OP reads it first. While not "nice", it's what needed to be said.
Well done.

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"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 13

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 8:12:31 AM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Just... wow, DJ.
I suspect that your post might disappear, but I hope the OP reads it first. While not "nice", it's what needed to be said.
Well done.

I hope to hell that post stays *claps* it needs a standing ovation, not removal.

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Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
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(in reply to WyldHrt)

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 6:43:02 PM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

quote:

My question is, does a woman such as you respect a man more who goes out and works for a living over one who is your full time slave?
I'm wondering why you think going out to work would make a slave less respectable, or less of a slave?

He didn't say that. He asked what extreme dominas thought.

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)

Post #: 15

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 6:47:16 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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Do any of these "extreme dominas" exist in real life?

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 8:52:32 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I saw some in a chat room...

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RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 9:47:44 PM

Vendaval

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That is one of the worst profiles I have read in a long time.

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great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

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(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 18

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 9:55:30 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hardbodysub

quote:

ORIGINAL: FullfigRIMAAM1

quote:

My question is, does a woman such as you respect a man more who goes out and works for a living over one who is your full time slave?
I'm wondering why you think going out to work would make a slave less respectable, or less of a slave?
He didn't say that. He asked what extreme dominas thought.

Consider me an extreme domina (and you'll have to take my word that one or two men have thought me so), and answer for me what what respectability has to do with working versus staying home... I'd imagine that in this economy, and all things being equal, a working slave is slightly more respectable than a non working one (especially if it's his choice not to be working). M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to hardbodysub)

Post #: 19

RE: Respect for a sub-does a job do it or don't you care? - 4/11/2009 9:56:03 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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I agree Vendaval. What dominant is going to want a man who uses another woman and can't stand up and do the right thing and continues to use her... while he posts here and on his profile on how me, me, me needs this and that and must have it this way and that way?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 20

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