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How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:06:07 PM

BigGuy44

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/13/2009
Status: offline

I have been on site for some time now and am a serious player who is looking for a sub. However I am astonished to find how many non-serious people seem to be lurking posing as looking for partners. There are a fair number of men posing as female subs. I regularly read of others complaining of similar experiences and even of stolen identities and photos. I understand that some will get their kicks from behaving like this and have no problem in those who simply want to brat or pretend to be serious. I wonder however if there is a need (and a method) of separating serious players from those who are not. For me, these people could perhaps use the chatrooms for their activities and leave the profile section for those genuinely seeking partners. Alternatively a new area could be established where bratting and playing games was the order of the day.

What do others feel about this? Am I alone?

Big Guy

Post #: 1

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:09:31 PM

DarkFury

Posts: 264
Joined: 4/1/2009
Status: offline

It's just a matter of time and interaction between you and the other posters before you'll see who are serious enough for you. Your issue with this isn't anything new! Use a bit of patience and perseverance in what you seek,.

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(in reply to BigGuy44)

Post #: 2

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:10:49 PM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

I am a serious person seeking a situation that meets My needs. However, I've been accused of being a fake because what I offer didn't meet the needs of certain submissives. Some of the people on here are in fact just seeking fantasy, yes, but some of the people on here may just be seeking something you do not provide or vice versa.

This is a free website. While there are a number of changes I'd like to see made, I don't actually expect them to occur unless I and everyone else starts coughing up some dough to have them made. That said, I'm sure the persons who volunteer here at CM read our suggestions and may enact some that they deem worth their time and effort.

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Post #: 3

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:10:49 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

Sorry to bust your bubble but you can have all the sections you want and they will still go where they want and play their games.

There is no way to determine who is "serious" and who isn't. They are all serious about what "they" want and don't really care who they step on to get it.

You just have to do the best that you can, talk to them and learn as much as possible, and more importantly "meet" as soon as possible. A lot will talk a good game up until time to meet then all of a sudden they go "poof", so meet as soon as you can and if they are playing their game, at least you won't waste a whole lot of time on them.

It's hard, trust me I know. All I can say is hang in there...maybe one day....

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Post #: 4

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:16:29 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

Am I alone?

From where I am standing: You Are Alone.

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Post #: 5

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:17:40 PM

sirsholly

Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline

quote:

I wonder however if there is a need (and a method) of separating serious players from those who are not. For me, these people could perhaps use the chatrooms for their activities and leave the profile section for those genuinely seeking partners. Alternatively a new area could be established where bratting and playing games was the order of the day.

yeah.

Can't you hear the chatroom moderators:

HEY!!! You!! Yes, you!! You are weal and twue...get the hell out!!!!!!!

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Post #: 6

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:22:33 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

In a perfect world.. wouldn't the fakes admit they were fakes? Since it isn't a perfect world... guess what? Your plan of making a special section for players and fakes... wouldn't work because then who would they fake out? It's all part of the game.

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Post #: 7

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:24:46 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

There are always fakes on every site. There are also very real people on this website. Courting a partner takes time, BDSM does not change that :)

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Post #: 8

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:37:05 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Just because you're being rejected doesn't mean they're fakes, poseurs etc. It just means they aren't ever going to be serious about you.

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Post #: 9

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 3:52:50 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline

I have to agree with the overall sentiment. I have been very fortunate on this site and not dealt with most of the problems that others do on a regular basis. I don't know why this is but am simply thankful for it being the case. I can attest there are many genuine individuals in all the different potential areas. I hope that you will choose to approach this as a journey with optimism for the outcome rather than continue in a negative and defeatist mindset, which is automatically unattractive. If your profile or journal are anything like this post, it may be part of the reason good quality people are not drawn to you. I wish you all the best in your search!

lovingpet

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 10

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 4:06:48 PM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

each time i sign on for some reason i start off with someone elses profile coming up, i dont mind, its fun. but youd be amazed how many people are saying what youre saying. youre not alone, as im sure youre aware. its just part of the deal here and everywhere else.

you call youreself a genuine player, but by whose standards - my point being that noone considers themselves to be a faker as such, theyre needs and wants are perfectly valid to them.

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Post #: 11

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 4:11:59 PM

kidwithknife

Posts: 193
Joined: 9/9/2008
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I'm actually a computer program written by drunken NASA scientists to make annoyingly flippant comments. Like this one.

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Post #: 12

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 4:17:42 PM

CarrieO

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigGuy44

I have been on site for some time now and am a serious player who is looking for a sub. However I am astonished to find how many non-serious people seem to be lurking posing as looking for partners.
Maybe it's me but I tend to have a problem with anyone who calls themselves a player.

There are a fair number of men posing as female subs. I regularly read of others complaining of similar experiences and even of stolen identities and photos.
Yes, this happens....not just on CM.

I understand that some will get their kicks from behaving like this and have no problem in those who simply want to brat or pretend to be serious.
Question...these people who "brat" or "pretend to be serious", do you call them that because they have blown you off?

I wonder however if there is a need (and a method) of separating serious players from those who are not.
That player word again....

For me, these people could perhaps use the chatrooms for their activities and leave the profile section for those genuinely seeking partners. Alternatively a new area could be established where bratting and playing games was the order of the day.

What do others feel about this? Am I alone?

Are you alone in wanting to be seen as serious? No
Are you alone in wanting to change this site in the way you describe? Yes, in my opinion. Do you really think that people playing games (players?) would limit themselves that way? Really?

Just learn to be patient and make the effort to be seen as more than just a player. That just might draw to you what you seek.

BTW....You could add more than just kink to your profile if you really want to find someone who had "personality and ability to be more than a submissive". Also, you've only been here since 1/09....patience!

< Message edited by CarrieO -- 4/10/2009 4:23:01 PM >

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Post #: 13

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 4:26:28 PM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline

The OP made me smile. I can see it now: a checkbox for "I'm just playing and I'm a fraud".

Realistically, I do tend to take the people who make valid posts here more seriously than most of the people who don't post, but there are many sincere people who never make a post at all. At this point I don't even have a profile any more, just come here for the boards. (I got tired of the game players.) Like others that posted here I have been accused of being a fake. In my case it's because I enjoy service more than pain, so to some that makes me a faker. Or the fact that I showed photos of myself with my hair at varying lengths and when I was losing weight so even within a year's time they looked a bit different from each other so I was accused of lying because I look younger with longer hair and having lost 30 pounds. You can't stop people from having their opinions, and you may seem just as fake to them as they do to you.

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Post #: 14

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 5:18:51 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Perhaps the OP could change society so that Hookers carry a flashing sign advertising their wares, Thieves carry a sign stating they are a thief, Rapists carry a sign stating they rape women and girls ant so on and so forth. Good idea but totally unrealistic.

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Post #: 15

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 5:44:37 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

I am a serious person seeking a situation that meets My needs. However, I've been accused of being a fake because what I offer didn't meet the needs of certain submissives. Some of the people on here are in fact just seeking fantasy, yes, but some of the people on here may just be seeking something you do not provide or vice versa.

This seems to be a common issue. As soon as I am not interested in someone, I become "fake" to them. *shrugs* The only thing I can recommend is to not make this your only place to search.
Good luck
Lady Jag

_____________________________

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Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
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(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 16

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:00:19 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigGuy44
leave the profile section for those genuinely seeking partners.

Gee, I have a profile and I'm not seeking a partner. I use it to have access here. According to you, I should just go away and talk somewhere else. God forbid those of us who have good advice to give should have a profile when we're not seeking partners.

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Post #: 17

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:05:33 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

Well you could try meeting people in the real world...then if your not sure if they are real or not, you can just grab their crotch and see.

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Post #: 18

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:13:42 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BigGuy44

I have been on site for some time now and am a serious player who is looking for a sub. However I am astonished to find how many non-serious people seem to be lurking posing as looking for partners. There are a fair number of men posing as female subs. I regularly read of others complaining of similar experiences and even of stolen identities and photos. I understand that some will get their kicks from behaving like this and have no problem in those who simply want to brat or pretend to be serious. I wonder however if there is a need (and a method) of separating serious players from those who are not. For me, these people could perhaps use the chatrooms for their activities and leave the profile section for those genuinely seeking partners. Alternatively a new area could be established where bratting and playing games was the order of the day.

What do others feel about this? Am I alone?

Big Guy

(As best as I can tell...I think you've already suggested as much).

(in reply to BigGuy44)

Post #: 19

RE: How many are serious? - 4/10/2009 6:14:40 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

well this is just silly. Who the heck is going to check a box that says I am just a wanker looking for some online play?
Have you considered that some of those so called fakes may just not be interested in you?
The other day a bushy bearded unkempt looking man (at least in his profile pic) messaged me. And I, not wishing to come right out and say ewww.. did not respond. What did I get back? "FAKE, you are not a real sub!"

Sometimes people just are not interested.
I doubt anyone out there is going to stamp themselves with a label just so you wont be confused.
Kyst

(in reply to BigGuy44)

Post #: 20

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