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ORIGINAL: beeble

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ShiftedJewel wrote: I'm wondering the same thing... but I have to admit that many subs I have talked to one of the first questions they ask is "How will you punish me?" My reply is "Do you plan on acting out intentionally?" That always throws them off some.

Given that they're thrown off by your response, I guess they were planning on acting out.  On the other hand, somebody could ask the question to test compatibility.  I certainly wouldn't be interested in serving somebody in a punishment-oriented dynamic.

beeble.

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ORIGINAL: masmiss

I will soon be the owner of a very masochistic male slave.   This is my first experience in slave ownership and I need any advice I can get.  Obviously, corporal punishment is something he lives for and I happen to enjoy dishing out.  However, can any of you experienced Ladies give me some advice on punishment that will be effective in training rather than something this boy sees as a "reward" in a sense?

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ORIGINAL: masmiss

After reading all the replies to my original post I have to say that I believe ignoring my boy would be the best punishment.  I know it will pain him to know he displeased me. 
I am giving MistressRouge's suggestion of tickling a serious thought, too.

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ORIGINAL: Kita

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ORIGINAL: masmiss
After reading all the replies to my original post I have to say that I believe ignoring my boy would be the best punishment.  I know it will pain him to know he displeased me. 
I am giving MistressRouge's suggestion of tickling a serious thought, too.

Here's one "nay" for using the silent treatment as punishment. Feeling hurt/sad/angry and walking away for a bit to gather your thoughts (or what have you) is one thing, but systematic non-communication is choosing not to address what the problem is or how to go about avoiding the issue in the future. It teaches the person you're with that when they upset or disappoint you, you're going to abandon them and personally I think people have enough abandonment issues as to not need that used as a means of training or conditioning in hope of behaviour modification. Which would you prefer happen, somebody change their behaviour so that you will communicate with them again, or because they understand what they did wrong?

I've used corner time before but I never saw that as being a method of ignoring someone. I've told somebody to go and think about what they did/didn't do but I never said they were banned from talking/writing/contacting me for X amount of time. Having a discussion about why I am angry/hurt/bothered is taking the situation head-on instead of stuffing it under the rug and acting like not talking about it will make things change.

I will admit that I'm extremely biased when it comes to this because I was raised with the 'silent treatment' for whatever perceived wrong I'd done. I wasn't raised to be the communicator I am now, but I find happiness is far more attainable via talking about things rather than shutting down. My bias has nothing to do with D/s but I know the pain of being shut out and that's not a pain I'd wish or cause anyone I claimed to care about, especially not unless it was something so egregious that the whole relationship was threatened (and I think that would go back to needing time to process anger/hurt/frustration etc.)

-Kita-

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Her example was when she required a slave who was an accomplished chef to take basic cooking classes. This both humbled and bored the slave severely.

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ORIGINAL: novak

crack his nuts   util boy scream and passes out

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ORIGINAL: MistressRouge
Now that is a rarity, I have yet to play with a masochist that enjoys the cane
Sensation play is also great, electrics, needleplay, and even something like tickling can be an unexpected torture.

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ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Fast reply:

Am I the only one who finds this issue of punishment in D/s weird, funny and a turn-on in equal measure?

Essay-writing would be a terrible punishment for me.  I hate writing.  Yes indeed.

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ORIGINAL: cbtok

There is usually a gender trigger in many masochists. I would find it enjoyable to be beaten by a nice woman just about any day. If he's the same way, have a gay boyfriend of yours give him a really good thrashing. If she is strongly attracted to men, have a lesbian beat her for you. I notice that people who prefer their own gender tend to play more heavily than those who prefer the opposite anyway, so there probably won't be any warmup. Be out of the room when this is happening, as I've been beaten quite nicely by several queer boys while I was with my then-Owner and gads, that was hot! (Of course it wasn't punishment, either).

I do like the tedium angle mentioned above but I can eroticize that even. So whatever you do it has to be involved in the individual's psyche and has to be seen as punishment that is not preferred.

I do agree that banishment does not train if you care for the submissive but there is always this calculation one must make if one is to have a relationship with someone as to whether or not training (or further training) will result in anything worthwhile.

This is where there is a lot of pressure on the Dominant. The Dominant partner must have a full sense of the submissive they are working with and this sense does build up over time as a relationship grows. One might regard this a training issue, as one would train someone to their general liking but I would ask if there is a desire for the submissive if submission has to be trained. If what you have here is willfulness and not submission, you're training submission. That gets back to the original point and negotiation of the relationship that, supposedly, began some time ago.

If I have submitted to you, you will, of course, want to train me to your particular preferences, any specific protocols you think necessary, any desires you have and any chores you would have me do as a matter of course. That kind of training is necessary in any D/s relationship and completely understood. But, having submitted to you, why would you need to train me to be submissive?!

I think it is this rhetorical question that bears thought.