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Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 10:55:44 AM   
profileforpostin


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/11/2009
Status: offline 		is this a game or is it ever real? I have been searching for so long and am begining to believe a real sub/dom relationship is not possible, that it is a game we play for a while.

Does anyone really have this?

It seems each time I try and give over my control, it doesnt work and I end up a little more worn out.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:01:49 AM   
VeryNastyDom


Posts: 403
Joined: 9/23/2006
Status: offline 		It is very much real, but you have to work very hard to find what you want.  Fundamentally, it is no different than dating in the vanilla world except that you have fewer people to choose from that share your particular kinks.

Like your mama always told you, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.

(in reply to profileforpostin)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:13:22 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		yup it's real...
but in regards to this site.. you know..you joined this website...TODAY...don't tell me you expect results already
and with an empty profile you won't get very far either

(in reply to VeryNastyDom)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:15:32 AM   
Juliannadelion


Posts: 869
Joined: 7/25/2008
From: circusofthedamned
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: profileforpostin

is this a game or is it ever real? I have been searching for so long and am begining to believe a real sub/dom relationship is not possible, that it is a game we play for a while.

Does anyone really have this?

It seems each time I try and give over my control, it doesnt work and I end up a little more worn out.


it's as real as you make it.

_____________________________


Do you think this kind of love happens every day? ~ Asher

Bonded by blood, bound to His soul, soon to be his wife, owned by AsherDeLampyr

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RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:16:53 AM   
MsAlaria


Posts: 31
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: Richmond, VA
Status: offline 		Just as with anything in life, you get out of it what you put into it.  Be pro-active.  Get out in your local community. Go to munches, go to events.  Searching for the right one can take a long time but eventually the perserverance and patience pay off.

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:17:40 AM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		What VeryNastryDom said........ If you haven't already done so, you might venture out into your local community. Make some friends and contacts....see how it's done real time and not just online.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VeryNastyDom

It is very much real, but you have to work very hard to find what you want.  Fundamentally, it is no different than dating in the vanilla world except that you have fewer people to choose from that share your particular kinks.

Like your mama always told you, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince.


_____________________________

We attract hearts by the qualities we display. We retain them by the qualities we possess.

Shoes can change your life................. Cinderella

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RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:20:06 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Nope.

None of this is real.

Its all just a dream I'm dreaming.

*giggles*

_____________________________

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RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:29:06 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Nope.

None of this is real.

Its all just a dream I'm dreaming.

*giggles*


dream...or a nightmare that's the question

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:49:05 AM   
profileforpostin


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/11/2009
Status: offline 		Well I am very glad to know it is possible. Thanks for any advice given. Subtlebutterfly I have been on for over 3 years but created this profile today to preserve some anomnimity.

thanks

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 11:53:21 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		ahhh ok well..I'm sure it's possible  I've had a profile here on n off for hmmm 4 years on here..well I've only seen 3-4 ppl tops over that period that I'd do (from a physical/profile viewpoint) but then I don't know them at all, let alone contacted them so
but good luck

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 4/11/2009 11:54:24 AM >

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RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 12:56:28 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, a relationship is possible, but if you have been here 3 years already and had a few failures i would look at the common denominators between those failed ones, and avoid what you find, or make more allowance for whatever are the most common problems.

i have to say, from my personal experience, relationships can be formed between folk on kink sites, but not on here. But like i say, that's just what's happened to me.



_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

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RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 1:20:56 PM   
colouredin


Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		Life is real, I mean D/s can be a real relationship because its in reality but dont let the ideal carry you away too much

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There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

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Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 1:45:12 PM   
InTonguesslave


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: profileforpostin

is this a game or is it ever real? I have been searching for so long and am begining to believe a real sub/dom relationship is not possible, that it is a game we play for a while.

Does anyone really have this?

It seems each time I try and give over my control, it doesnt work and I end up a little more worn out.


so.., what happens exactly - do you want to talk about it.



_____________________________

aka lally


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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 1:50:21 PM   
wisdomofgiving


Posts: 55
Joined: 3/19/2009
Status: offline 		Sometimes being a little worn out is a blessing, since it gives us an opportunity to step back and review our life. It appears for some here that have posted, they have found the real thing. Even outside of this internet connection, and outside BDSM, finding the right person is not an easy thing for many. Why, I dont know and not in the mind to figure it out. Just be patient with the process, yourself and continue to live life fully. Usually it is when we aren't searching and are happy with our life someone shows up, maybe because it just isnt all that important to find the 'right person' anymore.
best of luck
wisdomofgiving

_____________________________

Though my heart will always be connect to the ocean winds, my mind is now learning about the wisdom of giving.

once and always an oceanwynds and now wisdomofgiving

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RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 2:53:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If you keep getting involved in bad relationships, then you need to start looking at why you keep picking people like that. You keep submitting to people you shouldn't. Why is that?

The only common denominator in all your relationships is you.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 3:13:23 PM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you keep getting involved in bad relationships, then you need to start looking at why you keep picking people like that. You keep submitting to people you shouldn't. Why is that?

The only common denominator in all your relationships is you.


OP,
Admiting that you're making poor choices can be difficult but in order to move forward, it may be what you need to do.  Of course, I don't know for sure because I'm only going on what you've posted here.  DesFIP is right, though,  look to the common denominator.

There was a post here once that was in this same vein..."why are things not working?"...."why is he treating me bad?"...."why can't I find the one?"
One of the replies has stuck in my mind...."Don't cast your pearls before swine".....and there are a lot of pigs out there looking for free pearls!  Something to keep in mind when wading through the muck.  Good luck and focus on the process...it can be fun.

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 3:20:17 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you keep getting involved in bad relationships, then you need to start looking at why you keep picking people like that. You keep submitting to people you shouldn't. Why is that?

The only common denominator in all your relationships is you.


The caveat here is only if there's a recurring pattern, and that might not always be the case.

The best insurance for a good relationship is to avoid having shallow or superficial ones.


_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 5:16:59 PM   
pinkwind


Posts: 367
Joined: 1/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you keep getting involved in bad relationships, then you need to start looking at why you keep picking people like that. You keep submitting to people you shouldn't. Why is that?

The only common denominator in all your relationships is you.


The caveat here is only if there's a recurring pattern, and that might not always be the case.

The best insurance for a good relationship is to avoid having shallow or superficial ones.



The shallowness of those past relationships could well be the only common denominator or recurring pattern, rather than character traits of those folk encountered. Either way, any pattern is what has to be looked at and dealt with.




_____________________________

pink...
Master Andy's emotion...

From Each According To His Abilities, To Each According To His Needs.

(in reply to stella41b)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 5:29:39 PM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkwind


quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

If you keep getting involved in bad relationships, then you need to start looking at why you keep picking people like that. You keep submitting to people you shouldn't. Why is that?

The only common denominator in all your relationships is you.


The caveat here is only if there's a recurring pattern, and that might not always be the case.

The best insurance for a good relationship is to avoid having shallow or superficial ones.



The shallowness of those past relationships could well be the only common denominator or recurring pattern, rather than character traits of those folk encountered. Either way, any pattern is what has to be looked at and dealt with.





This is so true. *greetings to you and your's*

_____________________________

CM's Resident Lyricist
also Facebook
http://stella.baker.tripod.com/
50NZpoints
Q2
Simply Q

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Can this be real? - 4/11/2009 6:07:56 PM   
Zechriel


Posts: 308
Joined: 11/19/2007
Status: offline 		Good evening!
I agree with what the last few posts have said, you should ask yourself things like-
                  What are you wanting? What will you settle for? WILL you settle or you wanna hold out for the whole enchilada? Are there other places/sites you can look?

Believe it or not, I found my perfect Daddy at the other meat market site. I was not looking , just getting ideas but we clicked. he lives 10 miles away, we see each other 3-4x a week, and it has been over a year together. After a few bad D/s realtionships, I figured out I wanted it all..not gonna settle for anything less than what I wanted or be fake just to be collared or play. Just be careful, sometimes when we find the right one, we get very scared of it being TOO right and TOO good and we run or hold back. I did that lots of times in the first few months and poor Daddy always had to coax me back into his arms. Good luck!
Love,
Zechriel


_____________________________

Sir HighlanderME's little z

(in reply to stella41b)
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