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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 6:12:14 AM

Missokyst

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I drive to the other side of town and watch the squirrels play. Or go to the pond and check out how many egrets are hanging out. I also enjoy seeing parking lot birds (the small black ones) or sparrows and finches.
Nature has a way of calming me down.
Kyst

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 21

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 6:13:53 AM

sambamanslilgirl

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i drag out my Pink Floyd collection (CDs and The Wall DVD) and listen all day

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Post #: 22

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 9:13:30 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bosisto

quote:

ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

Just be sure they dynamic in the relationship is REALLY what you want in your life and is really what you are being lead to believe---many times when we feel that way, its because our inner voice is telling us something we don't want to hear.

The first thought that came to mind was that was how I felt when poly was being enforced on me, it was always when he was with another. It didn't seem to give me any relief to know and feel that I was very secure in the relationship, I didn't like it when he was not available to me when I needed him. I left.

thats been part of the buggaboo i know.

but - i see it as my problem, not a problem with my relationship with Sir or my relationship with misst, both of whom i care deeply for.

poly hasnt been enforced on me, i am free to walk away, as you did, i just dont want to. therefore i am left with the necessity to get a grip of whatever these feelings are and they are very complicated.

it isnt envy or jealousy, i am happy that misst is with Sir and that they are happy. she badly needed to be settled and to have her fidgits worked through, to have quiet time with Sir and lots of play.

its not about feeling insecure, its about needing my Master, pure and simple.

part of me is enormously grateful to misst for being with Sir and making him happy. i guess i just want to be part of that and for various reasons i couldnt be this weekend.

no amount of logical thought helps. its raw feelings of need that only he can sort out. but im a bit better today. i have had my walk in the woods and i feel a bit more peaceful now.

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 4/13/2009 9:56:39 AM >

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 9:29:20 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I drive to the other side of town and watch the squirrels play. Or go to the pond and check out how many egrets are hanging out. I also enjoy seeing parking lot birds (the small black ones) or sparrows and finches.
Nature has a way of calming me down.
Kyst

funny you should mention squirrels. ive just got back from my wood, i wish i could show it to you. its so beautiful, spring flowers coming through and the birds singing in the trees. anyway, i was hanging out of a tree and this funny little story popped into my head; here it is..,

a squirrel and a rabbit got talking one day. the squirrel couldnt work out how the rabbit wanted to go down underground, so dark and damp and scary with rats and snakes and foxes ready to jump on him. the rabbit couldnt work out how the squirrel liked climbing into trees when it left him so exposed to owls and hawks and he could fall out. so they both decided to give each others life a go. but the squirrel couldnt dig a hole for himself and the rabbit couldnt work out how to climb the tree.

in the end they decided, each to their own, what is natural for one and anathama to another is what makes the world such an interesting place.

not sure what my subconcious was trying to tell me there... maybe that ive been busy digging a hole when i could have just been relaxing up a tree not getting my bum walloped - unlike misst.

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 9:31:23 AM

hopeful68

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Joined: 9/16/2008
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Lally,

Honey, I dont have the capasity to be in a poly relationship either, and have to agree with the last two posts. I think that poly is something you should have wanted before you even ventured onto the scene. It can take your self esteem and self worth and do real damage to it.

Please be careful honey.

(in reply to Bosisto)

Post #: 25

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 9:57:35 AM

curiousINct

Posts: 85
Joined: 8/18/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

a squirrel and a rabbit got talking one day. the squirrel couldnt work out how the rabbit wanted to go down underground, so dark and damp and scary with rats and snakes and foxes ready to jump on him. the rabbit couldnt work out how the squirrel liked climbing into trees when it left him so exposed to owls and hawks and he could fall out. so they both decided to give each others life a go. but the squirrel couldnt dig a hole for himself and the rabbit couldnt work out how to climb the tree.

in the end they decided, each to their own, what is natural for one and anathama to another is what makes the world such an interesting place.

excellent, thanks for sharing the story. :)

glad you are feeling better today.

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 26

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/13/2009 10:04:35 AM

InTonguesslave

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Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hopeful68

Lally,

Honey, I dont have the capasity to be in a poly relationship either, and have to agree with the last two posts. I think that poly is something you should have wanted before you even ventured onto the scene. It can take your self esteem and self worth and do real damage to it.

Please be careful honey.

im fine, honest, it isnt that - like the rabbit and squirrel discovered - each to their own.

actually i love to be part of a bigger family, i love that misst cares so much about me and looks out for me, i love that Sir can switch his thoughts and actions from misst to me and me to misst and enjoy us both for different but similar reasons. i love that i can give him things that misst cant give and vice versa. i know i couldnt satisfy all of my Master, he is a complicated man and misst is a wonderful woman and my life is enriched by both of them.

i just need to suck on him and feel his hands on me and curl up with him, thats all this is.

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Post #: 27

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/15/2009 1:52:49 PM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
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~FR

Maybe do the form...

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Don't believe everything you think...

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Post #: 28

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/15/2009 3:02:57 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

fellow subs and slaves, what the feck do you do with youreselves when youre in this damn awful mood when you know nothing else will get you out of it other than youre D. he's busy and happy with misst and thats cool, not going to mess with that.

but damn it to hell, what do you do with this awful, irritating, itchy fucking feeling its driving me mad and doing my sodding head in. im in a really pissy mood, its god awful.

Well... my relationship works a little differently, at the moment anyway. When he's chatting with the other woman we are hoping *fingers crossed* to bring into our lives and I need him cause I'm in a terrible mood, I crawl into his lap, expose my belly and he scratches it while they laugh about the fact that I want attention.

At this stage in our lives, not being able to do that wouldn't go well. If he's at work or something, I text him and he sends me something that makes me smile. If he's busy at work and can't respond, I try to watch some TV that will make me laugh or read a book. But there really isn't a lot of time when he can't at least send me some text messages. That's usually I all I need.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 4/15/2009 3:04:47 PM >

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Post #: 29

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/15/2009 3:52:05 PM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

fellow subs and slaves, what the feck do you do with youreselves when youre in this damn awful mood when you know nothing else will get you out of it other than youre D. he's busy and happy with misst and thats cool, not going to mess with that.

but damn it to hell, what do you do with this awful, irritating, itchy fucking feeling its driving me mad and doing my sodding head in. im in a really pissy mood, its god awful.

Well... my relationship works a little differently, at the moment anyway. When he's chatting with the other woman we are hoping *fingers crossed* to bring into our lives and I need him cause I'm in a terrible mood, I crawl into his lap, expose my belly and he scratches it while they laugh about the fact that I want attention.

At this stage in our lives, not being able to do that wouldn't go well. If he's at work or something, I text him and he sends me something that makes me smile. If he's busy at work and can't respond, I try to watch some TV that will make me laugh or read a book. But there really isn't a lot of time when he can't at least send me some text messages. That's usually I all I need.

if i could have crawled onto his lap i would have done!

im coming up with different ideas on how to keep myself occupied next time misst and Sir are together. i noticed a class in kick boxing at the local rec today - that would work!

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/15/2009 4:50:18 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: InTonguesslave

im coming up with different ideas on how to keep myself occupied next time misst and Sir are together. i noticed a class in kick boxing at the local rec today - that would work!

Taking classes could be a great thing. I dunno about where you are, but my local community college is dirt cheap and has some pretty cool stuff, from massage therapy and how to plan a vacation to the normal college fare.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 31

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/15/2009 6:24:23 PM

whiteslavebitch

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Joined: 9/10/2007
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I get that way too when I don't get to spend time with MasterK. We don't live together, and see each other usually 2 days a week, sometimes 3. When plans fall through for whatever reason, I tend to feel off kilter.

I have to keep myself busy and distracted when we don't get to see each other as usual, or I will find myself letting stupid thoughts take over. I'm not as insecure as I used to be, but sometimes the insecurities will come out. When that happens, I have to mentally "yell" at myself to "STOP!".

edited for clarity

< Message edited by whiteslavebitch -- 4/15/2009 6:33:04 PM >

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Post #: 32

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/16/2009 9:27:48 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
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i travel for a living and have a ldr with the Dominant that i serve. He lives in VA and i live in NV although i travel to VA quite often and spend sometimes 2 or 3 weeks with Him, sometimes it is 2 to 3 months before i get back there which makes the relationship hard at times. He is also poly and has an extremely busy live, so there are additional times that whether i'm there or not, His time is filled with other things. One time when i was feeling all out of sorts, He came up with some rituals that i was to do to help me feel His connection with me. One of which was to kneel down before going to bed each night and think about the fact that He thought of me that day. i don't know if having some sort of ritual when your Sir is spending time with others or on other things would be helpful to fight that feeling, but it is a suggestion.

heartfelt

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/16/2009 1:02:20 PM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

~FR

Maybe do the form...

when i read this the first time it didnt click! - ive just read it again and it registered. i can be depressingly slow at times.

sorry.

i think if id tried to do the forms then they would have ended up as so much shredded paper for the hamster to pee on.

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/16/2009 1:13:45 PM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

i travel for a living and have a ldr with the Dominant that i serve. He lives in VA and i live in NV although i travel to VA quite often and spend sometimes 2 or 3 weeks with Him, sometimes it is 2 to 3 months before i get back there which makes the relationship hard at times. He is also poly and has an extremely busy live, so there are additional times that whether i'm there or not, His time is filled with other things. One time when i was feeling all out of sorts, He came up with some rituals that i was to do to help me feel His connection with me. One of which was to kneel down before going to bed each night and think about the fact that He thought of me that day. i don't know if having some sort of ritual when your Sir is spending time with others or on other things would be helpful to fight that feeling, but it is a suggestion.

heartfelt

hi, yes, thanks, im working on doing something like that.

i like the idea of kneeling before going to bed - i have a mantra he sometimes asks me to repeat, i could do that and the one about knowing he would have thought of me in the day at some point.

ill cut and paste this to him and ask him if he wouldnt mind coming up with a few things that i could do for him in the day. he has come up with one thing

- and im not going to share it here lol. but it involves my woodland and my vibrator...

thanks. x

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/16/2009 1:19:21 PM

Bstardsbitch

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Joined: 11/19/2005
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Hi,
maybe I'm off track here, but is this not just jealousy?..............no offence meant , truly.
xx

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 36

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/16/2009 2:16:37 PM

InTonguesslave

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Joined: 2/6/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bstardsbitch

Hi,
maybe I'm off track here, but is this not just jealousy?..............no offence meant , truly.
xx

no offence taken

my feelings werent in any way directed at misst. she and i talked alot on the phone over the weekend. it started out concerned for her because she'd had a bad time with a client and maybe the fritzy process started from that because i was completely fine and in fact really happy for Sir and misst. others have shared here who are not in poly and they get the same thing.

it was needing to be with Sir but not to the exclusion of misst or a jealousy of them being together. it was just a need i couldnt fix myself and it went all fritzybloopypissy on me.

on a basic level it was purely physical right then. i had their emotional support on the phone three or four times a day. it was the physical i needed awful bad.

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RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/17/2009 1:37:57 AM

Bstardsbitch

Posts: 154
Joined: 11/19/2005
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That'll teach me to read the whole thread before replying lol.
After reading through the whole thing I get that physical ache for Sir and we live together lol. Sometimes all it takes is a hug, just a physical connection of any kind, and I find it's mostly hormonal. Could this be it? Depending on where you are in the monthly cycle may have an effect?
I'm sorry you're having a hard time lally....just get those hugs in next time you see them both lol
x

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 38

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/17/2009 4:07:03 AM

barelynangel

Posts: 6233
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Okay maybe you have addressed this but from what i am reading from you it sounds like he is completely off limits to you if he is with his other slave for days on end? Is this true? It seems like you are able to speak with the other girl but not him?

I may not understand it but would there be an issue if he calls you or if you text him while he is with another just asking for him to call you when he has times for a connection moment, or maybe all three of you can connect? NOT take over their togetherness but if this is for days at a time, maybe once a day or so you get some time with him just to connect for a few minutes.

Tp me, when you are a slave you rely heavily on the connection being reinforced not by big things or whips and chains but simply a connection. I may be wrong as to how it is -- when you are with him she has no contact with him and when she is you have none. But hell as open as i was with my Master being with others even i would have a hard time being RESTRICTED or FORBIDDEN from contacting him. That would make me focus completely on that i wasn't with him and someone else was and suddenly i would find myself needing him lol. It would be to me like i lost my Master even though logically i would know i didn't.

This seriously can be a bitch, but i think you need to lay this at his feet because if it is you are restricted from contacting him or he ignores you or doesn't respond to you or disconnects from you simply becaue he is with another, that connection that is usually very strong between Men an their slaves is what is causing this --- its not, in my opinion, jealousy. Its an issue you WILL need him to work through with you.

If you are allowed open communication with him when he is with another -- disregard this post, and i have nothing lol.

angel

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Post #: 39

RE: fritzybloopybuggaboosmucklyfeck mood - 4/17/2009 1:17:18 PM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
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hi angel,

i think youre right. Sir wasnt 'available' to me in that he was focused on misst. i realise that when Sir and i are together the same happens to misst. we talked on the phone, but it was chit chat and nothing that connected me, but then i hid alot of what i was feeling before it got so bad i couldnt anymore.

it was 'the days at a time' that did it i think. had it just been for a normal weekend i would have been fine, but the easter weekend began on thursday and by sunday i was fried sunny side down and all frazzled round the edges.

monday polished me off completely! - you are right i needed to be connected to Sir and it didnt happen, so i fritzed.

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aka lally

(in reply to barelynangel)

Post #: 40

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