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Can CM provide a default definition for "Male Dom Couples"?


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Can CM provide a default definition for "Male Dom ... - 4/12/2009 6:57:58 PM   
threeforall


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I know that some of the likes/dislikes have pop up definitions to help newbies make the correct selections.  It seems like every week we write to some new girl who is looking for "male dom couples" but who responds to our approach with "I'm not looking for couples".  They seem to think that their selection will help them find one of the numerous stable pairings of two male doms, and seem shocked that anyone could interpret it as indicating a male dom with a female sub.  Because we all know there are none of those on this site right?
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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/12/2009 8:39:21 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		If you're respectfully initiating contact, I would hope that those disintereted would simply respond with their actual interests.  I know that folks sometimes lack grace in their communiques but were the definitions broekn out for this term in a more detailed fashion, there are several others that would make sense to do the same and would create logistical issues, I imagine, for the folks running the site.  Hopefully folks will communicate with baseline politeness. 
Best wishes,
  Davan

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/12/2009 8:40:52 PM   
ExKat


Posts: 300
Joined: 8/25/2008
Status: offline 		I have never run across this, ever. A pair of male dominants wouldn't be counted as "Male Dom" anyways...they'd be "Dominant" couple. Maybe it's just the subbie's polite way of saying they're not interested?

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/12/2009 8:52:10 PM   
threeforall


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Joined: 5/26/2007
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quote:

I have never run across this, ever. A pair of male dominants wouldn't be counted as "Male Dom" anyways...they'd be "Dominant" couple. Maybe it's just the subbie's polite way of saying they're not interested?


I thought that the first time it happened.  But there has been a rash of them lately, and it's driving us crazy.  We're always polite.  The worst is when they start complaining about how all these Mf couples can't read a simple profile.  Gently pointing out that that most people have a different interpretation of that check box doesn't seem to help.


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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/12/2009 10:21:23 PM   
angelikaJ


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quote:

ORIGINAL: threeforall

quote:

I have never run across this, ever. A pair of male dominants wouldn't be counted as "Male Dom" anyways...they'd be "Dominant" couple. Maybe it's just the subbie's polite way of saying they're not interested?


I thought that the first time it happened.  But there has been a rash of them lately, and it's driving us crazy.  We're always polite.  The worst is when they start complaining about how all these Mf couples can't read a simple profile.  Gently pointing out that that most people have a different interpretation of that check box doesn't seem to help.




I think many people just aren't paying much attention when they fill out their profile.

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/12/2009 10:37:56 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		This is a HUGE problem... ppl sending me emails and me having to reject them for any number of reasons.  Their ass is to fat ... Their ass in NOT fat enuff.  They cnt spel  They cnt rite.  So instead of telling them I find them decidely unattractive. I lie YES I lie to them.  I explin to them that they misunderstood my profile.  It's a polite way to tell you your ass is not to my liking.

Any questions????  go email yourself.

BadOne


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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 12:27:48 AM   
aravain


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For what it's worth, Male Dom Couple (to me) means a couple comprised of two male dominants. Fem Dom Couple is a couple comprised of two female dominants, and (finally) a dominant couple is a couple comprised of one male and one female dominant.

That's how I've read and 'flagged' it.

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 1:44:28 AM   
susie


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quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

~FR~

For what it's worth, Male Dom Couple (to me) means a couple comprised of two male dominants. Fem Dom Couple is a couple comprised of two female dominants, and (finally) a dominant couple is a couple comprised of one male and one female dominant.

That's how I've read and 'flagged' it.



Interesting as I have never taken it that way. To me Male Dom Couple is a Male Dom/ fem sub couple and a Fem Dom couple is a Fem Dom / male sub couple. I have never considered it to mean Male/male or Female/female. Am I the only one to take it that way?

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 1:58:43 AM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
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quote:

To me Male Dom Couple is a Male Dom/ fem sub


Same for me, I am afraid, Male Dom Couple is a couple males..

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 2:01:34 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
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From: Den Haag
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: susie
Interesting as I have never taken it that way. To me Male Dom Couple is a Male Dom/ fem sub couple and a Fem Dom couple is a Fem Dom / male sub couple. I have never considered it to mean Male/male or Female/female. Am I the only one to take it that way?


I'd take that way too, especially on primarily straight sites. Personally, I think flags lik M/f, M/m F/m, F/f- couple would be a lot more clear though.

(in reply to susie)
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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 2:04:19 AM   
Guilty1974


Posts: 467
Joined: 11/2/2005
From: Den Haag
Status: offline 		And to the OP-question. No CollarMe can't provide a default definition. It's funny, but the S&M world really is slightly larger than CollarMe.com, so any default definition would make no sense if it weren't adopted into the world at large.

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 5:11:26 AM   
CatdeMedici


Posts: 2257
Joined: 10/20/2008
Status: offline 		Pehaps they mean a true Male Dom and a female sub NOT a Dom and a switch, maybe they mean two men,   maybe ist a quick reply, maybe they mean, you aren't what they are looking for--deal with it and move on.

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 5:15:57 AM   
SultryMomma


Posts: 48
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		Susie, that is the way that I have always understood it to be as well. So definately, you are not alone.

SM
(Kris)


quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: aravain

~FR~

For what it's worth, Male Dom Couple (to me) means a couple comprised of two male dominants. Fem Dom Couple is a couple comprised of two female dominants, and (finally) a dominant couple is a couple comprised of one male and one female dominant.

That's how I've read and 'flagged' it.



Interesting as I have never taken it that way. To me Male Dom Couple is a Male Dom/ fem sub couple and a Fem Dom couple is a Fem Dom / male sub couple. I have never considered it to mean Male/male or Female/female. Am I the only one to take it that way?

(in reply to susie)
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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 5:31:48 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I would also have assumed that male dom couple would be two males. If it's a dom/sub couple, then why isn't that the name?

OP, you're getting your panties in a twist for no reason. This isn't anyone's fault, simply a selection with no accurate definition. Perhaps your email ought to explain that since cme doesn't have a way to identify who you are, you are writing to them, and you apologize in advance if you misunderstood what they're seeking.

Personally, I'd get upset if I rejected someone, explaining I wasn't interested in them, and then got a rant in return. Who knows, if you're nice, maybe you'll make a new friend. I'd also make it clear which member of the couple is writing the email.

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 7:31:19 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		In my profile I state clearly that I am part of a Dom/Domme couple I.E. Master/Mistress couple just as I state clearly that I collar only slaves. However seeing that the majority of emails I get obviously haven't read my profile (or they wouldn't be emailing me to seek a possible collar), nothing they say surprises me these days.  

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 7:34:40 AM   
subtlebutterfly


Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline 		*sigh* all the good ones are always taken

but male dom couples uh I don't know how I'd read it..probably as either M/m - M/f or M/M


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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 8:42:06 AM   
Highlandsub


Posts: 25
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
quote:



Interesting as I have never taken it that way. To me Male Dom Couple is a Male Dom/ fem sub couple and a Fem Dom couple is a Fem Dom / male sub couple. I have never considered it to mean Male/male or Female/female. Am I the only one to take it that way?

Thats the way I always thought of it as well


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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 1:25:25 PM   
threeforall


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

No CollarMe can't provide a default definition. It's funny, but the S&M world really is slightly larger than CollarMe.com, so any default definition would make no sense if it weren't adopted into the world at large.


Sorry, but that's just wrong.  The point of those boxes on CM is to allow people to filter and search using them. If it's not clear, then they need to make it clear.  Otherwise they might as well have boxes labeled "snagglepuss" and "jabberwok" and "This is my favorite check box".  Then everyone can click boxes to make a pretty pattern.

I don't care what the site designers meant* it to stand for.  I just want them to clarify, so I can use it to help me make a useful match.

*though I'm willing to bet real money that they expected het couples to be the default making Dom/Domme= MF, Fem domme = Fm, and Male dom = Mf.   Does anyone even know a MM couple that is looking for f?

(in reply to Guilty1974)
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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 2:37:14 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Actually when I see MM couple, my first thought is: MM = Master/Mistress couple but that is probably because that is the relationship I am in. If I take time to think about it I will eventually come up with the possibility of Master/Master couple. But then again that's probably the way my ursine mind works too.. 

In some ways life was simpler when I was part of the Gorean Lifestyle because I could say I had a M/FC relationship and all Gorean folk knew precisely what I was talking about.


< Message edited by IronBear -- 4/13/2009 2:39:02 PM >

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RE: Can CM provide a default definition for "Male ... - 4/13/2009 5:06:52 PM   
aravain


Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline 		~FR~

I find it interesting the dicotimy of the understanding... perhaps it's partially wrapped up in sexuality/preference in the first place?

Personally, in my profile I advertise for Male Dom couples... I do this because I would absolutely love to get involved with/talk to an already established couple of two men who are both dominant, even if nothing grew from it other than friendship. I would be annoyed if contacted by a couple that was not two dominant men but advertised as a Male Dom Couple...

Lets look at the possible selections for couples:


You are ACTIVELY seeking:



 Dom/Domme Couples  Sub/Sub Couples  Femdom Couples  Male Dom Couples

This, to me, suggests that a different box should be given... something along the line of "Dom/sub couples" which would be gender neutral, but allow those couples who have a Dominant and a Submissive but are looking for another (either Dominant or Submissive) to have their own option and not cause others to think they're "falsely advertising" (which *would* be the first thought I had with someone listed as a Male Dom Couple who contacts me, but only one of the members is a dominant), and stop them from hitting walls with false positives for people that might be interested in them.

Dunno how likely that is, though :P

(in reply to IronBear)
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