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RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 9:02:45 AM

chamberqueen

Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
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Padriag, I agree completely. There is nothing wrong with using a form letter as long as it is well thought out, gives some interesting information, and has decent grammar and spelling. The initial letter can be run through a spell- and grammar-checker it that helps. It should convey warmth and at least a small idea of what the person is looking for in a relationship. The trick is in not making it obvious that it is a form letter.

EminentFate, I don't think that any of the comments here were intended to be mean but were from people trying to help you and to see how an email like that would come across. You asked for opinions and you got honest ones. I've had days when I've literally received 100 emails on my CM account. It got so that I would just delete any that said only "hello" or "how are you". I never thought I would be at a point in my life when I got sick of being called beautiful, but it was because I never knew if the person was sincere or just desperate for a relationship. It didn't matter if my profile said I was a slave in a relationship - men and women, tops and bottoms, wrote to me in hopes of a relationship. A single sub who is fairly attractive and doesn't sound bitchy gets a LOT of emails. For most, being asked to chat immediately before any emails are exchanged is a turn off. I would much rather send at least three or four emails back and forth before I give out my chat ID.

Remember, your initial email is your introduction of yourself. There's nothing wrong with putting yourself in a positive light but don't assume that you are the answer to someone's dreams - not until you get to know them better.

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Post #: 21

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 10:36:40 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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Well you could turn of your puter.... Head off into the real world and find a girl

BadOne

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Post #: 22

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 10:58:14 AM

EminentFate

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2008
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I only wish It was that easy to find someone In the real world with the same interests I have as easily as you can on here. Its not like you can walk up to some girl and ask her" excuse me are you a submissive/slave"

< Message edited by EminentFate -- 4/14/2009 10:59:56 AM >

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 23

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 11:16:30 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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I can determine in a couple of dates tho. Quit being so lazy sheesh

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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Post #: 24

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 11:23:02 AM

EminentFate

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/12/2008
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Please don't call me lazy you don't know my personal life or what it consist of or if I have even been on a date so don't assume. thank you .

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 25

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 12:17:29 PM

SteelofUtah

Posts: 5307
Joined: 10/2/2007
From: St George Utah
Status: offline

EminentFate,

If you stick around long enough you will learn that SailingBum doesn't pull any punches and speaks his mind, most people here do, you will also learn that what you say on this forum can be twisted and turned into anything no matter how far it may turn from the actual truth.

You may wish to invest in the idea of ignoring those you don't like and listening only to those you do, however I have learned that listening to those I don;t like give me a better insight into how I am seen by the outside world and if I disagree with what they say that I may want to present myself differently. There are also times when you just need to tell them to fuck off.

As others have said most women (Even the ugly ones) get anywhere from 15 to 50 e-mails a DAY so you kinda gotta stick out and be different. If you want to use a form letter or something that really doesn't show them that you have read anything in their profile then expect to get fewer replies however if you write each and every c-mail out with individual comments that show them that not only did you look at thier profile you looked at what they had to say and see them as a person and not just someone you are trying to get to send you wank fodder.

I think you will do well if you try to get to know them as people and not just submissives because until they agree to be anything more than someone you talk to online all they are is another human being behind a computer screen.

Take Care and I wish you well.

Steel

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(in reply to EminentFate)

Post #: 26

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 12:31:24 PM

SailingBum

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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You are correct my bad. I just assume that someone who goes online line looking to date is lazy. I did not mean to offend you! Letsee sit behind the puter eating bon bons viewing ads across the world. Get involved in 5 LD relationships <of course at the same time> cuz I can't find someone local. OR

Go out and meet ppl. I view one process as being lazy get over it.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to EminentFate)

Post #: 27

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 12:32:05 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
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To avoid being repetative about what others already mentioned the sentence " if you want someone with experience you need look no further" would put me off...as that sounds to me simply arrogant and shallow, like "I am the one great mr. experienced, don't look any further, I am so good"...if I would get such an email I guess I would not that likely reply as I would be slightly put off and thinking "I do not need to look any further???" Thanks, but I am happily able to decide by myself, if there is a need to look further or not and don't need someone to tell me that who just started to get in contact with me...it just appears to me pushed a bit too much too early...just my view

Good luck

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 4/14/2009 12:33:43 PM >

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Post #: 28

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 12:42:25 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

I just assume that someone who goes online line looking to date is lazy.
BadOne

I could not disagree more with you...as it still depends what you are looking for..with me currently living in UK and knowing for sure that I will relocate after my studies is no point dating locally...I am not interested in a guy from here as the majority of men I met here so far (e.g. at work, uni, etc.) I can run over easily personality wise and on top of that I don't want to risk to end up with someone who at the end might try to persuade me to change my mind to stay here (when I have countless reasons why I won't stay in the UK the rest of my life; I dared to get involved with guys from here a year ago and received on quite a few occassions the "blame" for being "so serious about my view to relocate"...well, won't put up with that crap anymore by now). Therefore with me knowing that I will relocate for sure after my studies it is pointless to date here,which is why I am focused on the countries where I know that in one of them I will relocate at the end...and has nothing to do with being lazy.

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 29

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 1:04:50 PM

SailingBum

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From: Sailin the stormy sea
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aint no thang we can agree to disagree

BadOne

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The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 30

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 6:05:56 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EminentFate

I was only curious as to what I was doing wrong or if anything at all. I was not whining at all it was merely a question nothing more.

As long as you are being yourself, then you can't be doing anything wrong. You're the right dom for atleast one sub. You two will find each other sooner or later.

You're the first person to ask this question since I've been back on the boards. If you hit the search function, you'll find more than a hundred threads asking "Why can't I get a reply?" and going on about the rudeness of the submissives that don't respond to messages. Last year, it was a topic that went on and on by many so called doms that just wouldn't stop whinning.

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Post #: 31

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 6:11:20 PM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

I wouldn't respond to that email unless it had some fantastic photography with it.
My reasons are:
There is nothing of 'you' in that letter, it is completely impersonal and shows nothing of your personality or even mine.
The spelling (lack of) bothers me, I like when someone puts a bit of effort into a first contact.

I suggest you reformat it and try to make it more personal. Keep working it over, read it out loud and see how it flows.

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Post #: 32

RE: ok so im currious - 4/14/2009 6:23:19 PM

dmt

Posts: 21
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I think a lot of It does have to do with personalizing the letter... For me I look at profiles, and tend to say hello or at least find something to say directly to the person that I'm writing to. If someone sent that letter to you, would you in all honesty think that they had not sent the same to 50 others that same day? Seriously, I don't mean to sound like a prick, but maybe just inject some personality, you might see better results.

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Post #: 33

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 12:16:59 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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You end the message with an understanding/permission that if they don't feel a compatibility, they're free to go on without responding...yet you have become bothered by the lack of responses. FangsNFeet brings up a good point (about being yourself).

Sure there are gonna be handfuls of posters/subs here who will tell you what they would find alluring, but the more you change what you would normally do for the sole purpose getting more hits, the more you'll be false-advertising what you have to give (which wouldn't be a problem for someone looking for flings, necessarily, but you've mentioned actually wanting a LTR).

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 4/15/2009 12:17:48 AM >

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(in reply to dmt)

Post #: 34

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 12:22:03 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Well you could turn of your puter.... Head off into the real world and find a girl

I've never understood the logic that discounts written text as a means of communication. It's funny...the people I've met in life whom I first met on the internet don't appear to be any less "real" than those I've met at random public venues.

YMMV, I suppose...

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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Post #: 35

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 12:25:12 AM

NormalOutside

Posts: 622
Joined: 1/8/2008
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I don't get many replies at all. Sometimes I feel offended but then I put myself in their shoes. I'd probably reply politely but make it obvious I'm not really interested in a relationship, but I do like talking to others with similar interests. I probably wouldn't just ignore someone unless it was a scam, phish, spam, etc. But they might be really busy with all kinds of offers, and if you aren't what they want, why would they spend their time carrying on smalltalk?

Just be yourself and if they don't like your message, they probably aren't right for you, even if their picture looks great and they sound really slutty and fun. :D
Be glad they didn't lead you on, and look for someone better.

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Post #: 36

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 3:55:56 AM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

That particular email was sent to someone that hardly had anything in there profile

Well, there you go. People with little in their profile more often than not are here to chat, not to find a hookup - no wonder you don't get responses. Why would you write to somebody who says nothing in her profile? What is your motivator, why did you write to her - she is female, and here? It doesn't work like that.....

(in reply to EminentFate)

Post #: 37

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 4:34:00 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Well you could turn of your puter.... Head off into the real world and find a girl

I've never understood the logic that discounts written text as a means of communication. It's funny...the people I've met in life whom I first met on the internet don't appear to be any less "real" than those I've met at random public venues.

YMMV, I suppose...

yep yep yep I see ppl like this all the time. They sit on their fat ass text, playing x box puter, whatever.... meanwhile ppl get fatter by the year.. Kids have less muscle tone. Genreally in much worse shape than as little as 20 years ago.

Oh and by the way Most ppl refer to as the "vitural world" Some ppl will never get it

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Post #: 38

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 8:28:52 AM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

yep yep yep I see ppl like this all the time. They sit on their fat ass text, playing x box puter, whatever.... meanwhile ppl get fatter by the year.. Kids have less muscle tone. Genreally in much worse shape than as little as 20 years ago.

Oh and by the way Most ppl refer to as the "vitural world" Some ppl will never get it

BadOne

Let me try and understand your logic here (the incredible strain may be from my having recently woken up, you never know):

'Because the playing of video games by kids (and people) clearly is the greatest cause in what you've deduced is a rising obesity rate, it obviously means that individuals meeting people online for potential relationships are deluding themselves while encountering non-real people. This, in turn, is proof they are "lazy".'

....*blink*...

So your beef with virtual interaction is...because non-sequitur logic has deduced that it leads to or causes a greater likelihood for obesity? That's it? Not body type, not diet...you jumped from an online website to jumbling video games (while conveniently leaving out the Wii as a system, due to it's mobility-interactivity system)...

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
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(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 39

RE: ok so im currious - 4/15/2009 9:15:14 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: EminentFate

Im very curious why i don't get responses from sub/slaves when i email them am i being to nice here is a sample of a email i sent a sub i cant figure out if Im saying the wrong things or what mabye just being to nice id like some suggestions on what i might be doing wrong. im currious and would like some feedback on this.

Hmmmmmm. Hmmmmm. Ermmmmm. Oookkkkkkk. Most interesting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EminentFate (Cont)

hello,
how are you id like to chat with you sometime i like your pic and would be interested in talking with you about what you might like and enjoy i have had 2 past subs so the lifestyle is nothing new to me so if you want someone with experience you need look no further if i don't hear back from you which i would like,i wish you luck in your search

Hhhhmmmmm. Uhuh? Bloody Hell! I found him! I found him! This is bloody well a near perfect copy the emails I get supposedly from women who haven't read my profile...

Sounds susiciously like a bulk mail run to me. Come on mate 'fess up you been coaching and writing all those emails for blokes and girls too huh?

Ok all joking aside, let's take a look at what you wrote:

"hello, (Hello,)
how (How) are you (?) id (I'd) like to chat with you sometime" (Chat or message contact or both? Chat often means chat rooms which not all people are interested in)

"i (I) like your pic (You don't contact anyone without a pic? You may be missing someone who will meet you requirements. For heavens sake read the girl's profile first so you can make complementary comments or ask questions about it. This shows some sort of interest in the girl as a person) and would be interested in talking with you about what you might like and enjoy" (Why not also discuss you interests which match hers IF you read her profile.)

" (I) have had 2 past subs so the lifestyle is nothing new to me so if you want someone with experience you need look no further"

" if (If I) don't hear back from you which i (I) would like,i (I) wish you luck in your search"

There are no guarantees but were you to look at the sugested corrections your messages may get some responce. I have maybe five or six basic letters I use, each one designed for the reason I am contacting a person. However I then personalize them, make some comment about their profile (Yes I read every profile of people who do contact me) and then deal with the reason for making contact. It may be something they have posted on the boards, something in their profile or journal, their picture or the background where the photo was taken or replying to their message to me. The massages like the one you posted here and the reason why I was pulling your leg about authoring all the "dead" letters I get, I rarely reply to because they are mostly copies of other letters and usually block and delete. Interesting point here is I get almost the same letters less BDSM influence from spammers often based in either Nigeria or Nigerian Communities in the UK, USA and Australia and all are trying top con money.

Welcome to the CM boards mate and good luck in future attempts to hook up

_____________________________

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

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(in reply to EminentFate)

Post #: 40

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