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RE: Honest Advice - 4/16/2009 6:12:58 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I rarely look at a profile, even when one is viewing me.  When I do it is because I saw the brief profile showing up on the main page because they were on at the same general time I am here.  If their profile seems like they are whole.. not just bdsm, not just dominant, sadist, ect..  but a reality based male, and they seem like someone I would want to talk to as an equal.. THEN I will look at the profile.
In addition my criteria for what I see is only local, no long distance at all.  Not because I am looking, but because if I was going to find some compatibility they should be local.  And.. lol I am always casting a line out to nab new members for my bdsm group.
I have gotten a few from here to join us.
Kyst



(in reply to SirSvafnir)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Honest Advice - 4/16/2009 6:50:55 PM   
lalbobbilynn


Posts: 483
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		i look for You ..... a written portion is equally as important as a picture, imho. How You see You ...... in Your vernacular, tone, and the photo You choose speaks volumes about what You seek as well as who You are choosing to present ..... or what You are choosing to keep hidden ....... there are times the last two points are one in the same.
Good Luck!

b.~

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Honest Advice - 4/16/2009 8:07:17 PM   
L00king4myDaddy


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		this is what i seek:

~honesty
~a full profile
~spelling/grammar
~don't ask me questions where the answers are clearly in my profile
~don't ask me for a photo straight up the first message
~no one liners...who wants to feel like you are one of many being browsed?
~show your down to earth side
~please don't try to cyber sex me..i want to build a relationship first

hope that helps :)

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Honest Advice - 4/16/2009 10:06:23 PM   
Scotty306134


Posts: 172
Joined: 5/16/2004
Status: offline 		Hi SirSvafnir...  When I browse or search profiles i first look for someone within reasonable meeting distance, then check out their role.. Dom/sub/switch. When I find a Dom/me or switch I check their age and interests. If their profile isn't filled out or is sketchy I usually don't go much farther.

(in reply to SirSvafnir)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Honest Advice - 4/17/2009 5:01:49 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		when i was looking, i tend to look for a well-rounded individual with similar interests/hobbies/etc beyond BDSM than someone who was too hung up on sex and only sex 24/7.

major turnoff in my book

sex is nice and all that however it's not the main focal point in the type of relationship i was seeking.



_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to SirSvafnir)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Honest Advice - 4/17/2009 5:31:27 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

when i was looking, i tend to look for a well-rounded individual with similar interests/hobbies/etc beyond BDSM than someone who was too hung up on sex and only sex 24/7.

major turnoff in my book

sex is nice and all that however it's not the main focal point in the type of relationship i was seeking.




Shit. I'm a dead man.
~laughs~

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Honest Advice - 4/17/2009 5:49:04 AM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline 		Look at other profiles as well.  All across the spectrum.  It can give you some sort of starting off point and a better idea of what may work and doesn't work.

Oh and add me to the HeavansKeeper fan club!!


_____________________________

A clever man can get out of situations a wise man never gets into...
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Honest Advice - 4/17/2009 5:56:49 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		Op started this thread 4 days ago and although he said it was good advice....still no content on his profile. Hmmm?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 4/17/2009 5:57:10 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to RealSub58)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 3:50:07 AM   
jamelia1959


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/18/2009
Status: offline 		I personally look for intelligence above all other things. 

Also, I am totally offput by those kinds of Doms who think it's all about them.  I've never found narcissists particularly attractive anywhere and no less so here.  IMO a narcissist is in fact the opposite of a Master - but to each their own. 

Good luck.

(in reply to SirSvafnir)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 4:02:26 AM   
Dichotomite


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		I disagree...a master must be a narcissist, with the confidence and demeanor that comes with it. I, as a dom, have put myself in a position to accept your subservience. I thank you the same way I thank the McD's guy for my fries. But he was serving me to earn his thanks, just as Sub earns hers. The ego must be there...cover and sugarcoat it all you want. Romanticise it any way you please. But it's there, underneath, at the center of your relationship. One rules the other.

Furthermore, anyone, ANYONE, who says sex is "nice and all" man or woman, has never had truly great sex.

....IMO.


< Message edited by Dichotomite -- 4/18/2009 4:04:32 AM >

(in reply to jamelia1959)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 4:07:47 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

a master must be a narcissist,
i totally disagree

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MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
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VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to Dichotomite)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 4:23:19 AM   
kazzaslave


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/12/2008
Status: offline 		kazza really disagrees with this. she knows many doms who aren't narcissistic at all but are very effective dominants. Doms tend to care for their sub/slave, something a narcissist probably wouldn't do. kazza is guessing that you are new to the lifestyle aren't you? Also, the guy who serves you at McDonald's tends to serve people because it's his JOB. It's doubtful he's there looking for praise.

kazza




_____________________________

I had no choice but to hear you ~Alanis Morrisette

All kazza's postings are approved by Master Malkinius

tsfka phoenix

Member of MoGa's In Crowd

Honorary member of the Fabulous Michigan Clique

(in reply to Dichotomite)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 6:06:58 AM   
Dichotomite


Posts: 2
Joined: 12/27/2007
Status: offline 		pfffft

< Message edited by Dichotomite -- 4/18/2009 6:09:17 AM >

(in reply to kazzaslave)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 6:48:51 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		Narcissists are boring. They live only for themselves and are unable to be empathetic in their communications with others. They have no balance.

Balance is my top requirement.


_____________________________


~Love your life! (It is the only one you'll get).




(in reply to Dichotomite)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 9:39:04 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		I'd like to think that my partner values my service from my heart more highly than the service he pays for.

I agree with Camille... balance is a must.


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Honest Advice - 4/18/2009 12:41:05 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I don’t browse through profiles but I read the short versions that float by on the home page. 
If I was looking for a relationship these are things dominant men say in their introductory sentence that would make me skip over their profile:
 
“Don’t waste my time.”  I always wonder how anyone would know if it would be a waste of time or not until you have spent some time getting acquainted!
 
“My profile needs to be filled out but I’m a procrastinator.”  That certainly doesn’t fill me with much confidence!
 
“If you think I’m going to do XYZ for you, you just don’t get it.”  I get it, all right, and what I get is the feeling the guy is a real jerk!
 
“Just looking around to see what this is all about.”  Gives me the impression he has profiles on every dating site in the universe trying to get laid.
 
“Looking for a discrete relationship.”  Screams Married! Married!  Married!
 
“You will (or won’t) do XYZ.”  Presumptive and over bearing in my mind!
 
What I do find attractive is a positive conversational introduction that includes “hooks” to draw me in.  Someone who comes across as friendly and makes it apparent that he is a person rather than a caricature of domliness. 

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to SirSvafnir)
Profile   Post #: 36
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