Honest Advice (Full Version)

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SirSvafnir -> Honest Advice (4/14/2009 11:52:47 AM)

Hopefully this will not come off the wrong way, but I am curious to know what does a submissive look for when browsing profiles here. As I have noticed that I get very few profile views, and in hopes of changing that I come here seeking advice. I do not wish to sound like a troll saying hey come look at my profile, but any constructive critism would be most appreciated.



RCdc -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 12:02:26 PM)

Something written in the profile section is a good start.  Information about your hobbies, what you do, future goals, etc.  Also, your profile states you are looking for 'friends only' - that might put some people off.  If you are a person who desires to be friends with someone first and see what develops, just be open about that in your profile.  The photographs are attractive - if a little grainy - although maybe one in a shirt might be cool too.
 
the.dark.



DesFIP -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 12:34:54 PM)

Fill out your profile.
Talk about your whole life, not just whips and chains.
Don't rant, but talk about your passions especially nonsexual/play passions.

Do you love indie movies? Roller coasters? Talk about those things.



angelikaJ -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 12:58:26 PM)

My personal preference is for photos to show someone fully clothed.

Journal entries are great for letting people know who you are and what you are looking for.

Regular forum posts give you a wider visibility and further illuminate who you are as a person, a man and "a Dominant".

Best wishes!



chamberqueen -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 1:22:11 PM)

I used to search by distance, so one thing is whether or not you are in their area.  Obviously you have no control over that. 

The profiles that caught my eye were those were the Dominant mentioned something about the balance between Dom and sub, and said something about what he would do in return for her serving him.  I like to see whether someone considers themselves as more of a sadist or a Daddy (and nobody flame me, I know you can be both at the same time).  I liked seeing phrases like, "once trust is built..." which shows that you don't expect someone to immediately submit without knowing you.  Those are just things that attract me personally.



crazyredhead1957 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 1:59:06 PM)

i like to read something in the essay section about how the Person is in real life, Their outlook on life, hobbies/interests, etc, more than just the "grocery list" that W/we can all fill out; something about what He wants out of life and His BDSM interactions; something about how He sees subs/slaves as complete people and the need to build up trust and getting to know her mind before asking her to submit...something saying how both P/people's needs will be taken into account in the interactions.  Lastly, telling me something about what kind of Dominant He is would be nice, i.e. is He a strict Dom, a sadist, a Daddy Dom?  Not that there can't be a mix of those, but You get my drift.  Good luck.  ~smiles~



cpK69 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 2:02:20 PM)

I don’t generally browse, but the profiles I like reading the most, are the ones that allow me to form some mental picture about the person.
Kim



ExKat -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 2:26:52 PM)

I'd search for distance and age. I must have looked at the profile of every male dominant in New England under the age of 30. It's possible that people are browsing you, but not clicking to view your whole profile (thus not resulting in views). Since you don't actually say anything in your profile, no one really needs to view it, now do they?



SirSvafnir -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 3:02:01 PM)

Thanx everyone for all your advice. I found it very helpful indeed.



SirSvafnir -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 3:04:12 PM)

Also unrelated, how do you use the quote feature?



HeavansKeeper -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 3:51:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: SirSvafnir

Also unrelated, how do you use the quote feature?



Quoting on the forums is done by clicking "Quote" in the top right of anyone's post. The signature is modified through your account settings.

I go through bouts of spending 1-2 hours weekly on CM, to... well... embarrassingly too much time. When I spend more time online, I make more posts, as shutting my mouth is a difficult proposition. The more posts I make (constructive, thought provoking, intelligent posts) the more people look at my profile. Every now and then I get a message about how helpful I was, or what a jerk I am, or how I'm cute... (Ok, that last on, only once....) Everyone likes to see NEW MESSAGES! in red. It's like christmas morning (or maybe I don't get enough messages... I'm sure some female dominants with pictures of their breasts see it more like an in-pile than an inbox...

Point is, I'm sure you can meet people chatting and whatnot, but being active on the forums allows you to learn. It also allows people to read your responses to prompts which you didn't include in your profile. (Mainly because no one thinks "Let me put my opinion on every issue I can come up with in this bad boy..")

By posting, people who share an interest in a topic (enough to look at it) can see your thoughts. Maybe you meet someone that way? Definitely put a blurb about yourself, what you'd like in a partner (maybe you want to specify your marital status?). You're a handsome chap, and I bet you have a hearty laugh - get a picture of that.



whiteslavebitch -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 5:38:44 PM)

If I were seeking someone, I would not have a blank profile that says nothing about me and what I'm looking for. Nor would I respond to a profile that was blank.



Delphinus -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 5:56:50 PM)

I prefer full sentences with proper spelling and good manners.  If I see run-on sentences without capitalization or punctuation, I keep moving.  



chamberqueen -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 6:17:19 PM)

HeavensKeeper, personally I love reading your posts.  You gave some very good advice there.



FangsNfeet -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 8:29:26 PM)

Sub or Dom, it's generaly the guy that makes the first profile view and sends the first message. Not to mention, many might look at your profile but not clicking the View Full Profile function as to stay hidden. You just never know.



AngelGeena -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 8:41:24 PM)

I like to see how someone relates to every day life.  Interests, interactions, activities.  Using complete sentences and proper grammer is a big plus as well as listing some interests and what they really seek.



crazyredhead1957 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 9:56:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

HeavensKeeper, personally I love reading your posts.  You gave some very good advice there.


Yes, HeavansKeeper.  i also love reading Your posts.  There's always something good there.  ~smiles~



HeavansKeeper -> RE: Honest Advice (4/14/2009 11:24:07 PM)

Girls, girls... You're embarrassing me in front of my new friend.

But you see, SirSvafnir, the forums offer ample opportunity to make yourself shine.... Or prove you're a blustering idiot. Whichever. =)



loveandlight87 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/15/2009 12:36:10 PM)

SirSvafnir, I would agree with what has already been posted.  I want to see a bit of someone's personality.  I also want to know that they can articulate their thoughts intelligibly.  All that shorthand and chat speak makes me dizzy.  Having the pictures on your profile is great.  Add something about your personality, interests and hobbies, maybe even some history about yourself, and you’ll be doing much better I suspect.



RealSub58 -> RE: Honest Advice (4/16/2009 10:17:46 AM)

I just looked.

You have nothing to say, only your screen name and interests and a lousy picture.

Sorry, just my honest opinion  



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