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Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:04:30 PM

dave1212

Posts: 158
Joined: 1/2/2006
From: Lancashire UK
Status: offline

Hello to you all !

Please accept my apologies as i'm sure this will have been covered somewhere before !!

I was quite recently approached via another site from a Domme who was seeking slaves..
After carefully reading her requirements i decided that due to travelling distances and other things it would not be workable..
I mailed said Domme and carefully worded my reasons as to why it was not workable..
I was as far as i can tell polite and courteous in explaining my reasons but i feel i was met with an unecessary reply..
Such like "a worthy slave would not have those issues"
I am sure that was a one off but taking into consideration that it was "the Domme" that initiated the contact i was left feeling a little bemused !!

Am i correct in thinking this is one of the "few" negative responses i will recieve or will i experience this quite often ??

_____________________________

~Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me~
~Distracting/reacting~
~Against my will i stand beside my own reflection~
~It's haunting how i can't seem to find myself again..
"Linkin Park"
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Post #: 1

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:12:32 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Am i correct in thinking this is one of the "few" negative responses i will recieve or will i experience this quite often ??

Yes the response was slightly rude, but you are not correct in thinking it's one of the few negative responses you will get; be prepared for much worse and many more.

People do tend to be bold and more real (especially if they are spineless ass****s) online.
Welcome to the boards, and grow a slightly thicker skin, because otherwise, it's going to hurt. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 2

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:15:24 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dave1212

Hello to you all !

Please accept my apologies as i'm sure this will have been covered somewhere before !!

I was quite recently approached via another site from a Domme who was seeking slaves..
After carefully reading her requirements i decided that due to travelling distances and other things it would not be workable..
I mailed said Domme and carefully worded my reasons as to why it was not workable..
I was as far as i can tell polite and courteous in explaining my reasons but i feel i was met with an unecessary reply..
Such like "a worthy slave would not have those issues"
I am sure that was a one off but taking into consideration that it was "the Domme" that initiated the contact i was left feeling a little bemused !!

Am i correct in thinking this is one of the "few" negative responses i will recieve or will i experience this quite often ??

Perhaps if you changed your own perspective a bit. Don't view it as a negative response to you, just that she has a different idea of what a slave should or should not do is all. You weren't compatible, for whatever reason, and you already knew that. Her response only proves it to you.

Hang in there. If that's the worst that ever happens, count yourself among the blessed few.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 3

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:23:07 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

Such like "a worthy slave would not have those issues"
============

commonly referred to, and disdained as "running guilt trips"........which is, a no no in this lifestyle.
dont let ANYONE pull this on ya.
i dont care who they think they are, where they think they come from, or whom they think their daddy was....
tell em ya aint impressed...

i know damned well "I" never have been.
best wishes

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 4

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:25:41 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

It happens on all sides, and it will happen again and again but patience and diligence---

In fact here is an email that appeared in My inbox today:

please dom. me ill do everything you want would love to drink your p** and eat your s*** if you desire it

puhleez

Welcome to the site and the boards!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 5

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:26:42 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Welcome, Dave.
Although I do not personally browse profiles, or initiate contact, I can see where your profile, which is very nicely written, would be attractive to some Ladies, and you might receive contact. Count youself lucky. There are any number of threads about empty email boxes.
I will say this...you do say you are willing to relocate. Put some extra thought into that. Since you are a renter, if you are not willing to relocate, even as a live-out trainee, and this is what causes you to halt a Domina in Her tracks, don't put yourself out there as available in that manner. I do not know what you wrote to this Lady in your letter of declination, but if it was time constraints regarding travel and requirements, then I can see where She might make a statement such as "if you are serious, I think you would find a way to overcome these objections." I might make the same comment Myself, not because I am angry with you, but because such a declination (again, I am only guessing here) does not seem to go with the presentation of your availability and your willingness for training.
There will be some ladies who will not be nice. There are others...many others...who are very gracious and approachable. So start working on that thicker skin, and like M, I welcome you to the boards.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 6

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 2:39:19 PM

MadameDahlia

Posts: 2021
Joined: 8/11/2004
From: SoCal aka Hell
Status: offline

Provided that you've given us one hundred percent of the information involved with this situation she sounds rather self-inflated if she's spouted off things like, "a worthy slave would not have those issues".

Why should someone who doesn't know a single thing about her bend over backwards to accommodate her? Who died and made her Queen of the Universe? Just because she shows an interest in someone doesn't mean they're going to click their heels together, salute stiffly and then come running. That's a bit too vain for me to stomach. I'm glad I've got the power of the delete button. (Hint hint)

In her world - which she is entitled to - perhaps a 'worthy slave' wouldn't hesitate to sell each of his possessions and come at her first beck and call. But her world isn't your world. And she really shouldn't expect to get the Grand Poobah treatment without establishing a connection and a shared desire to blend lives.

Either she's been given everything she's ever wanted in her life up to this point or she's living in a dream world or quite possibly she's just that narcissistic. Whatever her problems... they don't need to be yours. If you tried to be polite that's all you need to worry about. If you found it important to be nice that's great. If she doesn't share those notions just click and move on.

If she had gone to the grocery store and overheard that one of the other customers was a Christian she probably wouldn't say to them, "Since you're a Christian and you probably do all sorts of works of charity you should help me carry my bags to the car."

It's presumptuous. It's ridiculous.

_____________________________

Insanity -- a perfectly rational adjustment to an insane world.
--R. D. Laing

"Oh, but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away."

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 7

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:23:50 PM

michaelGA

Posts: 1194
Status: offline

sometimes i think rudeness runs rampant in the lifestyle and so far seems to be an unwritten requirement for a Dominant. maybe i'm wrong, but it's the impression i've gotten more times than not.

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 8

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:30:01 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA

sometimes i think rudeness runs rampant in the lifestyle and so far seems to be an unwritten requirement for a Dominant. maybe i'm wrong, but it's the impression i've gotten more times than not.

It runs rampant in the world, it is not gender, age or orientation specific. If you were on the Dominant side you would feel the same, the world has rude people because it is filled with people----who are rude.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 9

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:42:01 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

the world has rude people because it is filled with people----who are rude.
========

and my shrink asks why i dont like joe public???? oh please..................

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 10

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:47:03 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

the world has rude people because it is filled with people----who are rude.
========

and my shrink asks why i dont like joe public???? oh please..................

LMAO---

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 11

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:48:46 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

sometimes i think rudeness runs rampant in the lifestyle and so far seems to be an unwritten requirement for a Dominant. maybe i'm wrong, but it's the impression i've gotten more times than not.

I looked up the Antonyms for rudeness, and am wondering if the these are how you'd describe yourself or most submissives since you seem to be insinuating the opposite to be true of most dominants:
Antonyms: friendliness, good humor, kindness, sweetness Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved
M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to michaelGA)

Post #: 12

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:58:16 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

sometimes i think rudeness runs rampant in the lifestyle and so far seems to be an unwritten requirement for a Dominant. maybe i'm wrong, but it's the impression i've gotten more times than not.
I looked up the Antonyms for rudeness, and am wondering if the these are how you'd describe yourself or most submissives since you seem to be insinuating the opposite to be true of most dominants:
Antonyms: friendliness, good humor, kindness, sweetness Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved
M

Priceless!

Sooo is it Me, or have we spent the last few weeks arguing about the same things we did when we were vanilla?

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 13

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 3:59:39 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

sometimes i think rudeness runs rampant in the lifestyle and so far seems to be an unwritten requirement for a Dominant. maybe i'm wrong, but it's the impression i've gotten more times than not.
I looked up the Antonyms for rudeness, and am wondering if the these are how you'd describe yourself or most submissives since you seem to be insinuating the opposite to be true of most dominants:
Antonyms: friendliness, good humor, kindness, sweetness Source: Roget's New Millennium™ Thesaurus, First Edition (v 1.1.1)
Copyright © 2006 by Lexico Publishing Group, LLC. All rights reserved
M

Nicely done, M!

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 14

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 4:00:37 PM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I loveeeee "running guilt trips"

I loveeeee being rude.

Course Im a nonconformist in
society and in alternate society as well.

Notice I am a Dominant and the word loveeeeee.

If You are here in a alternate lifestyle setting you
need to be K I N K A W A R E. Learn tolerance to kink
for the worst of the worst amone Us (ME) and everything
else will be chocolate pudding.......

One persons trash is another persons treasure.
This applies to the most extream the most negitive,
the most different, the most misunderstood.

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 1/30/2006 4:22:18 PM >

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

Post #: 15

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 4:13:02 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Some folks react to rejection by lashing out in some fashion.

She attacked your "submissive" nature.

I, on the other hand, would be pleased that you saw the inherent problems involved in long distance matters, thought about it, and told me of your decision. I consider that what any decent person would do and it might open the door to continued online discussion on an online friendship if there were other things in common.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 16

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 4:24:07 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear dave 1212
i think that is a usual reply
if you are 24/7 you have no other priorities and ,should get there and, relocate to be a sucesssful slave.she wrote you ,so you should be very flattered and well noted someplace,but, being disappointed; people get very angry, when all they expect or get is ;yes yes; all the time ,then sudddenly; a no.
it's all stimulus-response-mechanism (SR).
IE: you hear 'thankyou', as is custom, from everyone you give something to ,and one time; you don't hear it ;you remember it, for sure ;all natural response ;nothing personal;'completely predictable,therefore fore-seeable and, controlable....
no fault of yours.
tranportation and relocation is everything ,and you were expected, to be a "slave".
its like an actor;to be any kind of star;you must be available; to be a star ,thats on location; hanging around ;payback time ;that's paying your dues....
that's why ,as a body-guard ,or slave ,when you're called ,and you can't show; you snooze; you looze,that's the nature of the game.NO EXCUSES.EXECUTIVES DON'T WANNA' HEAR ANYTHING ,JUST DO IT, OR YOU'RE OUT.(GET LOST;I CAN'T LOOSE CAUSE OF YOU KINDA THING....)
i was called ,to my top, when she was in chicago, and ,in trouble, and many had" snuff-threats", on them ,and i was put out of comission ,ON PURPOSE;how do you think i felt, and why do you think they were VERY angry?
note :
they always kill the body-guards first ,
and ,the slaves first, before they get to the top;
understand?.
a real slave ,and a real top is, nothing but that; 'real' .
no false expectations ,or shallow games ,
now you ,and, i are probably, on ,another very short-list somewhere.....get it?!

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 1/30/2006 4:38:24 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 17

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/30/2006 6:08:23 PM

fergus

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Dave,

as the above posters have astutely pointed out, there are just rude people in the world in general. Doesn't matter their label ... be it Top or bottom, nor does it matter about gender.

ALL walks of life.

ALL areas of interest.

Just seems that there are people out there who forget about the basic dignity within all of us.

Anyway, shrug it off, there will be other people that coem into your life. Oh, a FEW of them might be rude too, but many others will not ;)

fergus

(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)

Post #: 18

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/31/2006 3:54:05 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

If you feel you were as polite as you could be then don't worry about them. Let it go and try not to let it tar your judgement of all, while there are many rude people about there are also courteous people about and if you close your eyes or get bitter as some posters to the board seem to then you might miss finding the gold at the end of the rainbow.

Good luck,

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to dave1212)

Post #: 19

RE: Rudeness ?? - 1/31/2006 6:22:37 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

Just a thought....
maybe she wasn't being all that rude. Maybe just blunt and a little insensitive...consider the following.
The person she is looking for would not have let mundane details like distance and expense stand in the way of their being her slave. You, however, did, and therefore, by her standards you are not "worthy" slave material.
Another thought....you advertise yourself on here as a slave, and when somebody treats you like a slave you object......something worth considering.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to Oumae)

Post #: 20

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