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About betrayal - 4/16/2009 5:31:51 AM

Pearlie

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Joined: 4/16/2009
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Hi, Mistresses :

I am a newcomer, and would like to ask you a question:
If your slave betrays you, what will you do?

Thanks in advance.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 5:36:42 AM

LadyPact

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"Betrayal" can have a lot of definitions. Is there any chance you could be more specific?

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 5:54:39 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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It depends on the type of betrayal, and how it directly affects me or makes me feel.
What we would do matters little though, since each person deals with, and copes with his/her relationship differently. M

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 6:15:14 AM

Lockit

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Betrayal is a pretty serious word here. I cannot think of many types of betrayal being acceptable. Could someone view something as a betrayal when it wasn't? Maybe... but I can't at the moment think of anything.

So at the moment and it is my morning... I would have to say that most times I felt someone betrayed me, it was in cheating or lying and anything that includes either... is something I do not overlook or accept and move on with. I am moving down the road with either of these things.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 6:30:25 AM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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I know what you mean, but something has changed in me, and so betrayals require details for me, and aren't as effective at annoying/unsettling me as they used to be. For myself, it depends on how vested we are in the relationship, and how much work he is willing to do to redeem self and renew trust. M

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 6:41:14 AM

Lockit

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LOL... with some coffee... a few hours to wake up here.. I may think of things I can't think of now! But... my mind is rather foggy at the moment and as many times as I shake my head... the cob webs won't clear out! I may be missing a whole lot! lol

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 6:53:45 AM

Kaiel

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Lying for Me is a deal breaker, so betrayal is obviously something I would not tolerate.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 7:28:12 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Pearlie

Hi, Mistresses :

I am a newcomer, and would like to ask you a question:
If your slave betrays you, what will you do?

Thanks in advance.

Well, if she eats my Dove's dark chocolate, and the rooster cookie jar is empty when I reach my hand in for a fix........she is OUTTA HERE!!!

Anything else, your gonna hafta be more specific.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/16/2009 7:30:54 AM >

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 7:37:04 AM

subtlebutterfly

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dark....dark?????????
what's up with americans and dark chocolate

cookies on da other hand are a whole different thing *thinks of stealing LaT's cookie jar sometime when the wind direction is convenient*

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 8:03:33 AM

chamberqueen

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Part of it would depend upon whether or not the person has been warned. Say, for instance, that the betrayal is in a lie. If you were clear with the slave up front that lying would not be tolerated and yet they lie then my first step would be punishment - not release. If it is having sexual relations with another when it was agreed upon that it was not allowed then a serious talk would be in order to find out why they felt the need to do that. If it was because they were not getting enough attention or affection in our relationship then I would deal with it one way, if drugs or alcohol were involved I would handle it another (taking away their right to use those until they could prove to me that they could serve even using them), or if it was because of a need to be poly I would handle it a third.

Communication is the important thing. You don't just need to know what they did but why they did it. If the two of you can't have honest communication then your relationship is bound to have problems.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 8:25:46 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I don't see how the OP asks for a definition of betrayal, so I will tell you from experience that when a slave betrays me, I reel from shock, grieve for the lost relationship, and move on. There are no second chances in my world for that level of relationship harm.

"Betrayal" for me, just for completion's sake, is not some misdemeanor of daily behaviour, breaking the rules, that kind of thing. It's violating the trust that the relationship is founded on in a profound way.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 9:07:46 AM

SylvereApLeanan

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~FR~

Betrayal = one-way ticket out of relationship. Goodbye, au revoir, end of story. There are no second chances here. Acknowledge, grieve, console self with chocolate (the darker the better), move on and try to do a better job of screening subs the next time out.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 11:01:28 AM

beeble

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quote:

subtlebutterfly wrote: dark....dark?????????
what's up with americans and dark chocolate

What's up with Kittitians and/or Nevisians and milk chocolate?

beeble.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 12:03:39 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I don't see how the OP asks for a definition of betrayal, so I will tell you from experience that when a slave betrays me, I reel from shock, grieve for the lost relationship, and move on. There are no second chances in my world for that level of relationship harm.

"Betrayal" for me, just for completion's sake, is not some misdemeanor of daily behaviour, breaking the rules, that kind of thing. It's violating the trust that the relationship is founded on in a profound way.

In the majority of cases, I'd agree with you, LH. Still, I would have to know the specifics to say how I would react.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 12:35:41 PM

LadyHibiscus

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We all have different definitions of what a betrayal is... I would say that spontaneously announcing on the phone that you are being left because "it's just not working" three weeks after a person has been pierced qualifies!! Who knows what would be unforgivable in another situation...

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 12:41:33 PM

LadyPact

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I could definitely think of things smaller that would count.

(Btw, that would completely suck and not in a good way.)

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 12:43:54 PM

LadyHibiscus

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It seriously did. But how many women can say that they were ditched for his transgendered best friend? At least it makes for a good anecdote years later!

(even better is that the friend did not KNOW that she was my replacement... wheee!)

< Message edited by LadyHibiscus -- 4/16/2009 12:45:06 PM >

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 12:52:28 PM

MistressRouge

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Depends on the offence.

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 1:55:47 PM

FullfigRIMAAM1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly
cookies on da other hand are a whole different thing *thinks of stealing LaT's cookie jar sometime when the wind direction is convenient*

*Grabs the buttery cookies, runs and hides them for later* Yummmmmmmm M

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RE: About betrayal - 4/16/2009 3:00:49 PM

ShaktiSama

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Yeah, I can't think of many things that would merit the use of that word. Kind of impossible to say what I'd do. Wouldn't be pleasant for anyone, though.

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