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MasterScorpious -> RE: Am i not Submissive Enough? (11/12/2004 12:18:38 AM)
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Let me start off with the statement that the Dom is question is likely a wannabe and a jerk. An alarm should have gone off in head as soon as he started. You are NOT his sub and you may choose or NOT choose to submit as you see fit. Do not question your instincts. You will find that they are correct more often than not. I am cut and pasting a portion of an article I wrote for an online BDSM ezine...I think you may find it informative.
Every so often a submissive goes thru a period of time when they are questioning whether they are good enough. This usually occurs at a time when he/she is actually going deeper into his/her submission and it is a very dangerous and emotional time for a BDSM couple. This is sometimes referred to as a "crisis of submission", and believes me a novice or inexperienced Dominant will screw it up. Invariably when this occurs the submissive tends to get quiet, uncommunicative and feisty and the Dominant gets frustrated, confused and at times angry. The submissive will not tell the Dom what is wrong and the Dom will know something is. He/she will fight everything and the Dom will push even harder because of that. Before I realized what this was all about I actually lost relationships because of it. However at the root of this is yet another communication problem so I will spell things out for you submissives even though I suspect you won't be listening.
Your Master/ Mistress/Dom chose you. He/She had a lot of other choices but he picked you. If you are or were not good enough He/She would have left for greener pastures long ago. Do not be influenced by other "so called Dominants" that tell you that because you do not do or you Dominant does not do this or that you can not be a "true submissive/slave." You have only three people or things to answer to, your God, Your Master/Mistress, and yourself. `Unless he is Your Master what Master Joe Smith from Kokomo Indiana thinks about you, your Dominant or your training is totally irrelevant. Slave has an ICQ address and name that clearly identifies her as a slave and profile clearly states she has a Master and is not looking to replace me. You would be amazed and shocked how many times we turn on ICQ and find a "get on your knees and suck my cock bitch" message on it. The point is Master Joe Smith from Kokomo Indiana probably would have no more of an idea of what to do with a naked kneeling submissive than he would an atomic bomb.
Recently there was a Dom on one of the Yahoo groups I am on that was lamenting the fact that there are no submissive woman that are willing to meet him with no limits. Of course he went on to describe in detail what this submissive should look like and suffice it to say he was looking for a “Leather Barbie” that is just as mindless. Any submissive that would agree to no limits with a person they have never met is either mindless or a fool. If as a sub you get a message from a “Dom” in an email that says he wants no limits an alarm should immediately go off in your head and your reply to them should be “thanks but no thanks.”
By the way these so called “Dominants searching for a “Leather Barbie” is one of my pet peeves. Your basic Leather Barbie is a young “submissive” female that looks absolutely fantastic in fetish attire, but is probably no more of a true submissive than Madonna is an actress. If this is the type of submissive you are seeking your odds of succeeding are greatly enhanced if you are a “Leather Ken.” These girls do exist and even though I have painted them with a very broad brush some of them are actually very real and are excellent submissives. It is also NOT realistic you limit your search to these types because of the following:
In your basic online chat room (and in spite of our best efforts this is still the most reliable way to meet a submissive) that purports to be BDSM oriented let’s say that there are 20 people. Of these 20 people on the average 14 of them are either wannabes or neverwillbes. That leaves six, of these six at least one and possibly two are potentially dangerous. Now you have to deal with whether or not one of the last four is sexually compatible with you, whether or not the distance that they live from you is actually within reason. Now to top all that off you still have to weed through the other 14 to determine that they are indeed wannabes or neverwillbes and some of those can and do disguise themselves very well. Beyond all that you want to limit yourself even further because in your mind you just have to have a “Leather Barbie.” Some Dominants get lucky and get model quality submissives but frankly most don’t and limiting yourself in that way only makes your search that much more improbable. It will also cause you to pass up and reject excellent submissives that may be “Diamonds in the Rough.”
I wish you luck in your search and again tell you that you were NOT dealing with a true Dominant
Master Scorpio
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