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RE: at a pace - 4/19/2009 12:07:49 PM

IronBear

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I tend to do both, thinking and planning several future projects often simultaneously whilst also enjoying the now. I just allocate time and attention where I deem it to be most needed... I rarely expect anyone to keep pace with me as long as they are on track when I require them.

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RE: at a pace - 4/19/2009 1:15:14 PM

dreamerdreaming

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Ambition is nice, but not at the expense of enjoying where you are right now.

If you are so focused on summiting the mountain that you cannot enjoy each step along the way... Then you are missing out on the great majority of the joy that the experience has to offer, IMHO.

You also may not learn nearly as much from the experience, as you would if you took the time to savor the journey itself while you are on it, rather than focusing on its end (or on the next journey, or peak).

I have a healthy dose of ambition, but I also want to enjoy my life. The steps between. Not just the achievements themselves.

On the way up the mountain, I look and listen. I stop to observe, take pictures, comment... I learn. I drink it all in.

And I wouldn't feel bad or guilty if I needed to rest and recharge, along the way. I wouldn't feel like I always had to stay moving. People like that may be trying to prove something to themselves or someone else (their parents?) or they may just feel compelled to keep moving all the time because if they stop, they may be afraid of the stillness and the quiet. They may be keeping themselves busy so they don't hafta feel their real feelings. So they can keep them pushed down in their subconscious.

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RE: at a pace - 4/19/2009 2:14:44 PM

IronBear

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There is a lot to be said for stopping, resting and savouring the moment whilst regarging as this helps the journey to be more enjoyable like a leisurely hike over differing terrain instead of being like a forced rout march much loved by the army..

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RE: at a pace - 4/20/2009 10:27:02 AM

akisha

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~FR~

It's not just D types that are like that.

I'm always looking 5 - 10 steps ahead. In University I drove my professors nuts cause I would be asking questions that pertained to the lesson plan later in the week.

That's just the way some of us are wired.

For me I see something today but that one thing makes me think about what needs to be done tomorrow and next month .

I like to know by February when and where we are going for summer vacation so that I can make sure everthing is planned and ready.

Jsut because we are always looking ahead does not mean we are not enjoying what is happening today though.

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RE: at a pace - 4/20/2009 2:33:47 PM

DesFIP

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Akisha, the problem most of us who aren't like that have is that we feel pressured to act that way while in a relationship with someone who is like that. Especially when the person who is like that is the dominant partner, it can get hairy.

I tried keeping up with him and eventually had a melt down due to sleep deprivation. He thought I was being lazy but the simple truth is that I need two to three more hours of sleep a day than he does. Pushing me to not sleep, calling me names for having an inborn set point of hours of sleep needed that differs markedly from his didn't do either of us any good. He's learned that either I am allowed to go to bed at 10 at night or if he wants me up past midnight then he has to let me sleep in till past 8 in the morning. I can't go to sleep past midnight and be up at 6 daily, it just doesn't work.

More importantly I needed him to simply accept the difference without viewing it, and therefore me, negatively.

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RE: at a pace - 4/20/2009 3:00:20 PM

kiwisub12

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My Sir is definitely a faster paced person than me. (sorry Lally, i think this is an interesting topic so can't let it get dusty yet) He gets a project and will work at it until he is finished - push push push. I , on the other hand, have just finished a quilt i started in 1999!!!!
I'm thinking i'm a process person and Sir is a product person. He works to get the finished product, and i enjoy the process, and if i don't ever get a product - so be it.
Needless to say, we have to be understanding of how each other work.

And i agree with the amount of sleep thing - i need 8 or 9 hours of sleep to be effective and Sir does well on 6. So he comes to bed way later than me, and i get up before him, so it all works out for us.

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RE: at a pace - 4/20/2009 3:23:59 PM

NorthernGent

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I've gravitated toward a balance. I went hell for leather in my 20s, and looking back I spent too much time chasing and living my life in the future. I think it's right that that rainy day might never come.

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RE: at a pace - 4/20/2009 4:27:17 PM

Interesdom

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I used to be a workaholic but I'm sure that with enough effort I can solve it.

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RE: at a pace - 4/21/2009 10:23:18 AM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Akisha, the problem most of us who aren't like that have is that we feel pressured to act that way while in a relationship with someone who is like that. Especially when the person who is like that is the dominant partner, it can get hairy.

I tried keeping up with him and eventually had a melt down due to sleep deprivation. He thought I was being lazy but the simple truth is that I need two to three more hours of sleep a day than he does. Pushing me to not sleep, calling me names for having an inborn set point of hours of sleep needed that differs markedly from his didn't do either of us any good. He's learned that either I am allowed to go to bed at 10 at night or if he wants me up past midnight then he has to let me sleep in till past 8 in the morning. I can't go to sleep past midnight and be up at 6 daily, it just doesn't work.

More importantly I needed him to simply accept the difference without viewing it, and therefore me, negatively.

I can understand why that would be a huge problem in a relationship.

Personally I would never berate or belittle someone for not having the same messed up personallity that I do. We are all our own person and we all function differently. I'll go for months on 5 hours of sleep a day then I'll crash out for 14 hours straight.

I was with a partner that could never make his mind up about anything. Other side of the same coin I guess. I mean it took him 3 weeks to decide to buy a pair of runners. It fustrated the hell out of me to be honest, but that was how he was.

He wanted to be in bed by 9 pm and up by 5:30. I don;'t function at all in the mornings and going to bed that early means I laid there totally restless for 2 hours,so that was a major problem between us as well.

I've never been pushy about my partners sleep habits or demanded or needed them to do things with me or run on the same schedule as me. lol probably because I'm the "s" type though lol plus I like being with just me at times.

My relationship with my polar opposite didn;t last long. Only 5 years and only that long because we had a kidlet and we tried to power through.

My Dom now just utilizes my wierdness. I'm in charge of making sure things are planned and budgetted for. I get to organize my lil heart out. When I start to spin out of control he is there to reign me in and get me back on track. Plus I have learned to calm my overactiveness down over the years as well so that helps. When I start trying to predict what needs to be done 6 months from now I try and calm and stop my brain from over thinking.

*** by the way lol I had my daughter registered in kindergarten 6 months early cause she was going to a school out of disctict lol so yes I still tend to over think and over plan alot***

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