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Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 2:35:41 PM

windchymes

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****I found this in a humor column, but I think it's dead on! So I posted it here****

1 - Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright.

2 - If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don't try to
subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim.

3 - Quit blowing smoke up women's asses about the sanctity
and power they possess as lifegivers and come up with some
decent, affordable childcare. That way, maybe poor single
mothers can go to work and get off welfare and we won't have
to listen to any more idiots in Congress blathering about
orphanages.

4 - Equal work for equal pay. Look around you at work, guys.
Look at... say Carl, the brain-dead jack-off in the cubicle
next to you. You could kill Carl, couldn't you, because he's
a slacking, worthless, toady idiot. Now, imagine making 30
percent less than Carl. Hellooo ...

5 - This is very important: during lovemaking, don't ask,
"Who's your daddy?" Even as a joke. All right? It's not
funny.

6 - When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be
coming out. Words are kind of important.

7 - Pass a law that makes it compulsory for all over-the-
hill rock stars to have women their own age in their videos.

8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now,
Clouseau, you should "know" if she came.

9 - Don't tell her how to merge and she won't tell you to
ask for directions.

10 - When she catches you cheating on her and she cuts off
your dick in your sleep, take it like a man.

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RE: Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 2:47:14 PM

veronicaofML

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From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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8 - Don't ask her if she came. You're a big boy now,
Clouseau, you should "know" if she came.

===============

there ARE those that dont TELL you by ANY sign...........they just quietly lay there,...and never move.
i know
i married 3

and people KEEP asking WHY i dont like sex and never have????????????????????

i have YET to meet 'a' woman that knows how to do more than be a lump in the sheets...argh!

< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 1/31/2006 2:49:10 PM >

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drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
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RE: Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 3:42:52 PM

windy135

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veronica,, where are you meetins such girls?? because I have yet to meet one that just lies there? :)

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RE: Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 3:44:52 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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iowa
between the catholic coalition and the womens league of voters...the place is sealed tight..

its red neck good ole christian land

women folk dont do bj's and dont do 69
and dont do doggie

uh uh

nope nada

< Message edited by veronicaofML -- 1/31/2006 3:46:41 PM >

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

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RE: Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 3:54:22 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

there ARE those that dont TELL you by ANY sign...........they just quietly lay there,...and never move.
i know
i married 3

and people KEEP asking WHY i dont like sex and never have????????????????????

i have YET to meet 'a' woman that knows how to do more than be a lump in the sheets...argh!

It's your fault for marrying the saints who hated phucking and wouldn't order you to exactly what they needed licked/phucked, do it right, and don't move/stop until she is satisfied!

... I am talking shit to some extent, but I would personally prefer to forego sex like you rather than have bad sex.
If you were anywhere near me though, that celibacy crap would absolutely have to go, LMAO.. What a waste of a human body.

M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 1/31/2006 3:55:33 PM >

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RE: Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 4:05:36 PM

veronicaofML

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that celibacy crap would absolutely have to go, LMAO.. What a waste of a human body. M
========

yeah well Ma'am..with MY meds i aint got no choice. couldnt get it up and KEEP it up past 2 minutes alone. i got the bladder of a chipmunk.

but thanks

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

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RE: Dennis Miller's Advice to Men - 1/31/2006 8:12:49 PM

Tapestry

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quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML
women folk dont do bj's and dont do 69
and dont do doggie
uh uh
nope nada

That may just be one of the saddest things I've ever heard!
Not only are their men missing out
But just as bad, the women are missing out on some of the
most delightful activities I can think of!

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Daddy's Little Girl

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

www.tapestry41.blogspot.com

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