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cyber matter - 4/20/2009 2:39:36 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Dear everybody, my question is aimed at the few of you who are experienced at keeping cyber only contacts.

My Cyber Master ordered a ‘no-contact’ task to start at midnight three weeks ago. I was allowed to send e-mails until then as much as I liked.
So I asked several questions, I squirmed a bit about that I would not like it much…wondered if He had to go on holiday…send Him some photos He had asked for…He said He did not have to go anywhere…He suggested for me to wear something special to remind me of Him (in effect collaring me, which made me deliciously emotional) He said I was not to contact Him again or look at His profile until He would send me a message. The time would be longer than a day and shorter than a month…I was to keep my journal and on reestablishing contact my first message to Him should be my feeling on this task…of patience…
I do not know His reasoning behind setting this task…maybe He needed more time to play with another…maybe he wanted to test if we would survive a holiday? It does not matter.
The fist week was awful…I was checking CM constantly and getting rather obsessed and depressed…so just before the Easter break I decided to stay off CM entirely and concentrate on my real life….ten days later I plucked up the courage to check my mail…if He had not written I would be so disappointed…but if He had; I would feel guilty for not checking sooner…no win for me…
He had written on the day after I had decided to steer clear of CM (typical no?) I was elated. Immediately after I picked up His message I send Him my already prepared reply stating my feelings on the task, exactly as He had ordered. He picked up my message soon after I had sent it but He did not reply…
It leaves me wondering; did His task go sour? Is He upset that I did not continue to check? Should I have failed my task and disobeyed His order and begged for attention? Did He get bored Himself…Does He not know what to do now?
I do not know why He is ignoring me...He has been a very good play mate up to now and I am sure He has enjoyed me too.
I have sent Him several messages since, He picked them all up. I send one also to a different account on the unlikely possibility that He experiences troubles with this site…

So I have been checking CM again for 5 days now and I know He has been here on and off and read all my messages…unless His wife has something to do with this….

My question is…how long before I should consider myself free to pursue a new contact?

Post #: 1

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 2:52:09 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

How's that whole cyber experience working out for you? Not just this guy but as a whole?

Curious BadOne

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Post #: 2

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 2:56:07 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

If the task is completed and you have had contact the once and he has now ignored your mails, then all you need to ask yourself is if you are happy. If you are not, then you move on now. The task in itself is no biggy, real or online such things occur. But the task is now over and if he was a responsible person, dominant or not, he would have informed you or spoken to you now.

It's just down to whether you accept his behaviour or not and whether it is compatable with your desires or causing you emotional turmoil.

the.dark.

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RC&dc

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Post #: 3

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 2:58:57 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

SailingBum, I like it Sir, it adds to my experiences, i do enjoy a good mind trip.

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 4

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 3:02:08 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
Status: offline

just get a real life one..

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Post #: 5

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 3:04:19 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

SailingBum, I like it Sir, it adds to my experiences, i do enjoy a good mind trip.

Rock on then

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 6

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 3:04:36 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Thank you Dark...of course He could have left me for as long as a month as He stated...so i am half inclined to wait that long...also not to bumble into a new thing too soon...i am happy to sit on the fence for now.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 7

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 3:08:00 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

Yes butterfly, I'm spoiled... i have a real one too just like the cyber thing also...

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 8

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:20:32 AM

Whenready

Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

If He has set an upper time limit of a month, and you know that He is monitoring, then I would say give it the month.

At the end of that time it would not seem unreasonable to send "Task completed, Sir" (or whatever form you have agreed in your communications)

If after that there is no response (allowing - say - a fortnight for unannounced holiday - tho that is probably pushing it) then at that point I would say you are then free.

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 9

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:22:15 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If this was a real time relationship, would you be happy to not be contacted, not allowed to talk to him, not see him? Same rules here. But I don't see how this can be a cyber relationship because a relationship implies contact.
If he doesn't contact you for three months, will you still consider him your master? Six months? Two years?

What it really sounds like to me is that his wife is suspicious and keylogging his computer usage.

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(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 10

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:51:39 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

mmm yes Des i agree that it is most likely His wife has got Him by the balls so to speak, but still it is speculation...as for the time limit...3 months is over the top let alone 2 years (though i have known people who had to deal with such situations and enjoyed good outcomes)
My Husband used to go to sea...for me 6 weeks is doable...so i am inclined to agree with 'Whenready'
I shall sit on this fence more or less respectfully for another three weeks

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 5:05:30 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i have an online ldr with Daddy that's almost nearing 3yrs. i know for a fact He would never put me on a "no-contact" because He enjoys communicating (via phone and IM) with me everyday. it's the heart of our relationship which makes it so wonderful.

however i think you answered your own question - the "master" in question is married "unless His wife has something to do with this…. " . getting involved with a married dominant (especially one who's probably cheating behind his spouse's back) does require patience as the "other" woman in his life. his wife will always be the most important person while you're last on the totem pole (after his ums).

how do i know? i was once the other woman to a married top before meeting Daddy. i thought i was the woman in his life besides his wife however come to find out i was one of many in his growing stable.

not apologizing for being blunt but you do need a wake-up call. if this was happening to me, i would quietly walk away. the decision is your to make - staying in a "no contact" relationship until he contacts you or finding someone who's worth being in contact with.

good luck

_____________________________

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(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 12

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 5:14:08 AM

PanthersMom

Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline

i'd walk away and never look back. if he cheats on his wife, who's to say he isn't doing it with more than one person and right now you're not flavor of the month? is he really worth it? if you think he is, ask yourself why.
PM

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Post #: 13

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 5:54:27 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Just for a little background... OP is married to her Master. The cyber Master is a side relationship, and her husband is aware.

OP, I'm at a loss to understand why the cyber fellow means so much to you. If he keeps away for weeks, focus on the guy you have in your RL life.

_____________________________

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Post #: 14

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 5:55:40 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

The fist week was awful…I was checking CM constantly and getting rather obsessed and depressed…so just before the Easter break I decided to stay off CM entirely and concentrate on my real life….ten days later I plucked up the courage to check my mail…if He had not written I would be so disappointed…but if He had; I would feel guilty for not checking sooner…no win for me…
He had written on the day after I had decided to steer clear of CM (typical no?) I was elated. Immediately after I picked up His message I send Him my already prepared reply stating my feelings on the task, exactly as He had ordered. He picked up my message soon after I had sent it but He did not reply… (quote OP

hi ranja,

ok, ten days later you check youre mail? he said he would get back to you 'longer than a day, shorter than a month' - prior to it he suggests you wear something symbolic. he's put in alot of thought about the task, about youre comfort and about the discipline, obedience and loyalty you might display - so far not so good (sorry, but you have asked)

he wrote the day after you left CM - that means for 9 days he had to go visit his account, presumably every day on the off chance that you'd checked in. Dominants dont like to get that messed about and ignored on the whole

you send him youre prewritten reply - ok, but you dont mention whether or not you attempted to explain, apologise etc.,

youre asking questions about him that he might well have asked himself about you, over those 9 days.

i think he has every right to sit back and make you sweat and see if you have the sticking power (youre 5 days to his 9 btw) to hang in there. he has hung in there, he has read youre cmails, he hasnt gone off anywhere (unlike you)

personally i would log on every day for as long as it takes him to write and tell you to do otherwise. im sorry too, but i think youre excuse for taking 10 days off is a little lame. it would have taken no time out of youre day to check in.

sorry, been a bit harsh there, but really and truly is it all that hard to work out.

< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 4/20/2009 6:00:45 AM >

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Post #: 15

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 6:03:29 AM

CelticPrince

Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

Dear everybody, my question is aimed at the few of you who are experienced at keeping cyber only contacts.

My Cyber Master ordered a ‘no-contact’ task to start at midnight three weeks ago. I was allowed to send e-mails until then as much as I liked.
So I asked several questions, I squirmed a bit about that I would not like it much…wondered if He had to go on holiday…send Him some photos He had asked for…He said He did not have to go anywhere…He suggested for me to wear something special to remind me of Him (in effect collaring me, which made me deliciously emotional) He said I was not to contact Him again or look at His profile until He would send me a message. The time would be longer than a day and shorter than a month…I was to keep my journal and on reestablishing contact my first message to Him should be my feeling on this task…of patience…
I do not know His reasoning behind setting this task…maybe He needed more time to play with another…maybe he wanted to test if we would survive a holiday? It does not matter.
The fist week was awful…I was checking CM constantly and getting rather obsessed and depressed…so just before the Easter break I decided to stay off CM entirely and concentrate on my real life….ten days later I plucked up the courage to check my mail…if He had not written I would be so disappointed…but if He had; I would feel guilty for not checking sooner…no win for me…
He had written on the day after I had decided to steer clear of CM (typical no?) I was elated. Immediately after I picked up His message I send Him my already prepared reply stating my feelings on the task, exactly as He had ordered. He picked up my message soon after I had sent it but He did not reply…
It leaves me wondering; did His task go sour? Is He upset that I did not continue to check? Should I have failed my task and disobeyed His order and begged for attention? Did He get bored Himself…Does He not know what to do now?
I do not know why He is ignoring me...He has been a very good play mate up to now and I am sure He has enjoyed me too.
I have sent Him several messages since, He picked them all up. I send one also to a different account on the unlikely possibility that He experiences troubles with this site…

So I have been checking CM again for 5 days now and I know He has been here on and off and read all my messages…unless His wife has something to do with this….

My question is…how long before I should consider myself free to pursue a new contact?

\\

amanda,

Having read your profile to get a sense of where your at; I make this observation. Cyber can be a very powerful and satifying tool on this path we walk. When it is all cyber without a futher r/t possibility then new rules come into play. The Rule of Expectancy is the prime one. You apparently took a cyber collar way to soon for your needs and it might be time to effect your own release and move on. Teaching patience is not one that is realistic for your expectancy and needs. So the next time make it clear what your needs are before pledging for even a cyber relationship; let alone a collar.

CP

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 16

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 6:05:14 AM

AngelGeena

Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline

I would have to agree with InTonguesslave. You took on an assignment which was going to involved waiting. He didn't. I could see how he might be a bit miffed.

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Post #: 17

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 6:08:27 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

If the task is completed and you have had contact the once and he has now ignored your mails, then all you need to ask yourself is if you are happy. If you are not, then you move on now. The task in itself is no biggy, real or online such things occur. But the task is now over and if he was a responsible person, dominant or not, he would have informed you or spoken to you now.

It's just down to whether you accept his behaviour or not and whether it is compatable with your desires or causing you emotional turmoil.

the.dark.

hey, hows the cold..., smiles)))

i really have to disagree here. she didnt complete the task to his specification. she buggered off for 10 days and completely ignored the guy and the tacit understanding that he would contact her 'longer than one day, shorter than a month' - she couldnt even be bothered to take five minutes out of her real time to see if the guy had responded. i think the man showed enormous patience frankly.

how is fretting over his fidelity, buggering off for 10 days and then bitching about him ignoring her after 5 days, completing the task.

or have i read this all wrong, probably, in which case ignore me

_____________________________

aka lally

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Post #: 18

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 6:11:44 AM

InTonguesslave

Posts: 342
Joined: 2/6/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AngelGeena

I would have to agree with InTonguesslave. You took on an assignment which was going to involved waiting. He didn't. I could see how he might be a bit miffed.

thank god for that!

i was begining to think i was misreading this or something.

_____________________________

aka lally

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Post #: 19

RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 7:36:02 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline

InTonguesslave...are you getting wound up about this more than i?
The thing is...He never said that i had to check in everyday...and even if He would have said that, things happen in real life that can prevent a person from checkin in...like Easter holidays with kids or broken legs or god knows what...
The deal was that i should never ignore a message after i have picked it up and i presume you use this email system too so you know that the person who sends a message knows exactly what day and time is has been picked up. So immediately after i had picked up His message i send my reply (that was written over several days to be more precise as i kept updating it) as was agreed. Then He picked up my message but has so far not had the curtesy to reply...and He has been here several times...i personally think respect goes both ways...if He is not satisfied with me He can surely say so. Obviously i could have 'buggered off' for a month too if i had needed to do that in order to stay sane and not get completely obsessed and frustrated pining for my Lord and Master on my knees infront of the computer...madly slavering.

(in reply to InTonguesslave)

Post #: 20

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