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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 7:50:20 AM   
ranja


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Sambamanslilgirl, thanks for that...we live and learn, i'm not walking yet...i will wait a bit longer but i think the damage is done

PanthersMom...i do not know for a fact he is cheating on His wife...she might enjoy our correspondence too for all i know and i really do not care if He has other contacts...The reason He is worth waiting a bit longer for is because He made me dance rather to His tune...the music seems to have stopped now tho

DarkSteven yes Sir..i shall do that...still my Cyber man added such lovely spice.

CelticPrince...yes i agree about the collar...He sprung it somewhat on me i have to say and i was rather amazed at my emotional response to it...i shall be very much more careful in future.

AngelGeena...I would have the nerve to say He brought that onto Himself...I can see how He might be a bit miffed too, i asked for a date...He kept me dangling...i got on with things...He sulks?

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 7:58:26 AM   
subtlebutterfly


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I decided to censor myself for a change

< Message edited by subtlebutterfly -- 4/20/2009 8:02:35 AM >


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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 7:58:43 AM   
InTonguesslave


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truly, im not worked up - you asked a question, i gave you the clearest explanation i could - just because my view doesnt suit youres makes no difference to the final and obvious truth.

......         he set up a task, you failed, he's giving you time to work that out.  tada!!, not rocket science.



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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 8:05:53 AM   
ranja


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thank you butterfly, i read it before it disappeared, are you feeling a bit...bitchy? no offence meant...

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 8:08:06 AM   
ranja


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Your truth InTonguesslave...not THE truth love, but thanks for sharing
And i dissagree, i do not think i failed...i think we both did

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 8:13:45 AM   
subtlebutterfly


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Well, it was wholeheartedly meant, and no I don't get offended easily so you can call me bitchy if you like.
I do feel bitchy when it comes to some things that are so completely and utterly in reverse with just about everything I believe in. (and I honestly do think I'm rather flexible when it comes to accepting diverse opinions.) Age play has never been my strongest side but I usually still try and simply disregard the posts, but this takes it up to a whole new level so yes then I tend to get rather bitchy.


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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 8:17:16 AM   
Lockit


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Okay you have a situation you want assistance with.  However anyone looks at it, you came to ask for some thoughts and you got them and then you bitch at many of the comments that were not offensive or shouldn't have been.  Then to top it off, you take a personal situation with your online dominant and make it public where he can see it. 

Good job... you deserve a treat!

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 8:20:33 AM   
Mikalsheart


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my thought is ......if Y/you are in a RELATIONship...... Y/you should be relating...not playing silly games (just mho)

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 10:22:27 AM   
ranja


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Butterfly, i am baffled as to where age play comes in? and as for you not understanding or being against cyber...that is fine by me. I was merely wondering how long i should wait and i have decided on 3 weeks...

Lockit...i am aware i am hanging out my laundry but i have not embroidered His name on it...He might be interested in other peoples opinions as well for all i know or even be amused...I am sorry you seem to think i am bitching at just anybody...i generally only bitch back, most of the responses i got i very much value...thank you people.

Mikalsheart...thank you for your thought, i think so too...but i love playing 'silly' cyber games i don't think i want to do without...

< Message edited by ranja -- 4/20/2009 10:29:35 AM >

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 11:32:17 AM   
Arpig


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I am with InTongue here, I think that is what is going on

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 2:55:52 PM   
hunnibunni09


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in my honest  opinion hun hes not being fair to you and you need to know where u stand with him, but how does this cyber online thing work?  i dont really know how a master slave relationship can work that way other than for his ego trip ?!

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 3:47:40 PM   
InTonguesslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: hunnibunni09

in my honest  opinion hun hes not being fair to you and you need to know where u stand with him, but how does this cyber online thing work?  i dont really know how a master slave relationship can work that way other than for his ego trip ?!


i would think it is a mutual two way thing, otherwise, why would so many people indulge mutually.

i think cyber works for many people, like these two, who are married, probably to mainstream, but choose to remain married to people they love.  i think many married people find outlets to keep their marriages alive or ticking, this is just one other way.  i get a bit twitchy when folk get judgemental about this sort of thing.  i see it differently.  i see it as people caught in a marriage they value, but with needs that cannot be met and so find as near a perfect solution as they can.  it is dishonest, i agree, but for some its a way of salvaging a lonlyness that othewise might eat away at a marriage, possibly with kids in tow and is therefore a means to a happier solution than divorce.

some cyber relationships can become incredibly deep.  in a way, we have a taste of it as we get to know a person on the internet before we meet them.  the intensity can be incredible and i imagine a bond can develop that is very strong indeed.

just to say here though, responsibility for the relationships we enter into is our end of the bargain.  its a little tiresome to then turn around and accuse a man of spending time with his wife when the wife is the woman in his real time life after all and should be his first priority, especially over a public holiday when family may well be part of the mix.  entering into such a liason means you have accepted that fact, if you cannot accept the fact you shouldnt enter into it.



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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 3:58:31 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


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From my point of view the time line here was 17 days before she read the email she received from him 9 days earlier.

For me it would depend on how long I knew the person but if it was cyber only and I went 17 days without speaking to someone I was "involved" with, they would be completely forgotten.
I seriously would not be able to recall that I had been involved with this person.


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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:24:05 PM   
TaoWoman


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

...but i love playing 'silly' cyber games i don't think i want to do without...


And this about sums it up..."silly cyber games".


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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:28:41 PM   
InTonguesslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BossyShoeBitch

From my point of view the time line here was 17 days before she read the email she received from him 9 days earlier.

For me it would depend on how long I knew the person but if it was cyber only and I went 17 days without speaking to someone I was "involved" with, they would be completely forgotten.
I seriously would not be able to recall that I had been involved with this person.



yes, but if she'd hung in there she would have heard from him in 9 days - or do you mean from his perspective - from his perspective then yes, i see what you mean, after 17 days id have unplugged the computer and found something fun to do.

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:29:52 PM   
subtlebutterfly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: TaoWoman



quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

...but i love playing 'silly' cyber games i don't think i want to do without...


And this about sums it up..."silly cyber games".



What she said!


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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:34:35 PM   
Knite064


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I would view this no differently than if it were a person i knew in my day to day life.(for me personally an online relationship would have to be treated the same as offline to hold any credibility)
If  you assume that the online relationship is going to work true to how you are offline then are you comfortable with the idea that potentially you have now lived in the same house as your dom for over two weeks and he has nt said a single word to you because hes peeved at you?
Would you seriously sit in your lounge and think to yourself"ok  ill live with this guy for three weeks more and if he does nt speak to me then thats it?
We all spit the dummy(pacifier) out on occasion but for a day or two tops, not for weeks on end!

Strikes me that he set you up on a waiting game and it kinda backfired because he was the one that ended up waiting....ce la vie.



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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:42:33 PM   
dreamerdreaming


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It would have taken you a minute or two each day to check in/ reply if he'd emailed. You don't care much about him.

You are just using him to try to get your unmet needs or desires filled. That's fine as long as you both know that that's what you're doing, and are okay with it. I'm not knocking you for it. Just don't fool yourself that you care much about him personally.

He tried to play you, and it backfired. You played him instead.

He doesn't care about you,  he just cares about jerking you around. But he can't do that if you are to busy (even inadvertantly) jerking him around.

Each of you only cares about the other for what they can do to fill unmet needs or desires. It is a relationship of mutual use- which again, is fine as long as you both agree to the terms.

I think he'll dump you because you (inadvertantly) outfoxed the fox. Therefore you are not filling his need of an ego-boost. He wants someone he can jerk around. If, after enough ass- kissing he comes back around to you, just realize that you are now the fox.

I'd dump him, unless you want to play you-can't jerk-me-around-cuz-I'm-too-busy-jerking-you-first on and on forever. If you do, fine. Just realize that that's what you're doing.

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:43:57 PM   
marysdream


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oh please it is ones like yourself that encourage the irrational actions on this site and others....he is not real! you are not being Dominated..you are being manipulated..for a person that could never go from behind the computer..please if you are a sub..be proud..do not allow yourself to be manipulated, and emotionally abused!
good luck..standing up for yourself does not hurt as much as the fantasy..you are living!

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RE: cyber matter - 4/20/2009 4:49:04 PM   
InTonguesslave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Knite064

I would view this no differently than if it were a person i knew in my day to day life.(for me personally an online relationship would have to be treated the same as offline to hold any credibility)
If  you assume that the online relationship is going to work true to how you are offline then are you comfortable with the idea that potentially you have now lived in the same house as your dom for over two weeks and he has nt said a single word to you because hes peeved at you?
Would you seriously sit in your lounge and think to yourself"ok  ill live with this guy for three weeks more and if he does nt speak to me then thats it?
We all spit the dummy(pacifier) out on occasion but for a day or two tops, not for weeks on end!

Strikes me that he set you up on a waiting game and it kinda backfired because he was the one that ended up waiting....ce la vie.





i see it as him trying to give her a lesson in patience - something she clearly lacks in spades and therefore relevant to their relationship.   he told her it was a lesson in patience.  he wished for her to wear something symbolic to help her through it and he gave her a time line.

it wasnt about him being peeved atall.  it was an agreed upon thing between them.

what i see is that she failed to monitor her email for 10 days after only 7 days of waiting.  so she failed on the patience thing right there.  she waits only 5 days to hear back from him (after sending her belated response) and gets pissy.  and yet he is apparently reading her mails, he is still there, he is clearly making her wait and yet again she fails on the patience exercise and really hasnt learnt a single thing atall and rejects the truth when she asks for it.

add to that the fact that she gets snarky about his wife and frankly i dont know why he bothers.




< Message edited by InTonguesslave -- 4/20/2009 4:51:25 PM >


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