sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (Full Version)

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TazDevil -> sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:18:23 PM)

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master



sirsholly -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:19:51 PM)

of course it is ok.

The way i see it, until a relationship develops, both parties are equals.



AngelGeena -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:21:28 PM)

I think it all depends on the person.  I initiated a conversation with a Dom who had been somewhat repeatedly viewing my profile.  And it has been interesting so far.



kuriouswitch -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:25:50 PM)

With my first Dom, i made the first move and made it a point to talk to him. Master made the first move this time. Actually truth be told, Master was the only one out of all the people i talked to seriously who did make the first move, the rest i usually opened the conversations with and took it farther down the line. Master kind of took charge right from the beginning, without giving me orders... okay loosely veiled orders lol. but yes anyone can make the first move if the attraction is there.



ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:31:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip,


Hell yeah, Taz. Carpe that diem before someone else carpes it right out from under your nose!

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master


Depends on the dynamic of that specific relationship, to be determined and defined by the two parties in the relationship. Some people like it one way, some people like it another.



LadyTeazer -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:40:30 PM)

I see nothing at all wrong with a sub making the first move.  If the boy does not approach Me, then how do I know that he even exists?  Is available?  Is interested in Me?

I have no problem with a boy being the one to suggest or initiate play, a scene, or sex.  As a woman (number one), and as the Domme (number two), it is always up to Me whether or not anything will happen.  

Personally, I want a boy that is not afraid to take/show the initiative and make suggestions.  It shows Me that he is comfortable (with himself, and with 'us'),  confident,  and has a backbone.  Very important traits to Me.   The wimpy, doormat type of sub is just sooo much of a turn-off to Me.  Blaaah!



LaTigresse -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:44:25 PM)

If someone does not approach me then I have no clue whether or she is interested.



InTonguesslut -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:45:24 PM)

It's absolutely fine.
I don't make first moves though, just my choice.



wolfgirl87 -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 12:51:15 PM)

Lol, I didn't get a chance to make the first move. From the moment I hit the chat room I was fielding PMs from Doms. However, if I'd had an idea of what I was looking for, and had been able to find that person instead of them finding me like He did, then I would have politely and respectfully initiated conversation, yes.

I agree with you, Panda. Carpe Diem!



AquaticSub -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 1:10:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master


Depends entirely on who you talk to. Some people thing the sub/slave should always approach first since they are applying/begging/*insert preferred term here* for the position and others think that it's completely unacceptable for the sub/slave to approach first. And then there are those of us who just "Well somebody has to make the first contact - does it really matter who?".

Personally, I'd just make the first move and see what happens. [:)]



RavenMuse -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 1:25:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

If someone does not approach me then I have no clue whether or she is interested.


Quite. If I notice someone who seems interesting then I'll say 'hi' and find out more... however there are a LOT of people out there and I'm not guarenteed to notice. If a girl spots Me and things there is compatability in what We are both looking for then dropping Me a memo about why she thinks there is that compatability is the only way to guarentee I'm going to even notice her. Who knows I might agree and decide to look further.



VeryNastyDom -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 1:51:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil
do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move


Absolutely.  Just because a sub is attracted to a Dom, that doesn't mean the Dom understands that.  Sometimes the direct approach can be very helpful.



hunnibunni09 -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 2:08:02 PM)

i guess it really depends on the 2 people involved, i know whem i want to ahve sex with Sir i just playfully tell him lol it usually works or otherwise just cuddle up to him and eventually gets the hint :)

xoxox



TazDevil -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 2:40:01 PM)

got a lot of reply's fast, ty all so far a lot of yes you can, or it deponce on the relship, any no ways in hell here?



littlewonder -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 3:44:11 PM)

I'd say it's up to the people involved. I personally don't see anything wrong with it but it's just not my thing. I'm pretty traditional and like men who make the moves.




Jeptha -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 4:08:00 PM)

I think the measure of ok-ness here would be your results.

If you are 100% satisfied with your approach (or your avoidance) as measured by the results that you've achieved by using them, then keep on keepin' on.

If you are not entirely satisfied, then perhaps you should reconsider your present strategy.



DesFIP -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 4:13:19 PM)

I don't understand why it wouldn't be fine for a sub to tell the dominant that they are incredibly aroused and would they please play with them. Doesn't everyone like hearing that they are desirable?

Although not before his first cup of tea in the morning if I'm hoping to get a positive response.

But sure, he can always say no. (unfortunately)



TazDevil -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 6:25:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't understand why it wouldn't be fine for a sub to tell the dominant that they are incredibly aroused and would they please play with them. Doesn't everyone like hearing that they are desirable?

Although not before his first cup of tea in the morning if I'm hoping to get a positive response.

But sure, he can always say no. (unfortunately)


ya that ture



thetammyjo -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 6:58:50 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TazDevil

do you believe it is ok for a sub/slave to make the first move and start a relasip, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master, andor is it ok for a sub to start a privet seen (if owned or with a Dom) to start sex, or play, or is it all ways up to the Dom/Master


I don't see while you can't approach a person you are interested in regardless of your BDSM role or identity. What is the worse that could happen? They say "no" right and you, being a reasonable person move on and leave them alone.

There is no relationship until both people consent and agree there is one. Otherwise it just stalking or some sad fantasy in one's head.

Within a relationship though that needs to be worked out between the two (or more) parties involved. Best not to have an assumption about it until you negotiate that or you risk being very disappointed down the road.



LadyPact -> RE: sub/slave makeing the first move, is it ok? (4/22/2009 7:41:34 PM)

There's nothing wrong with a sub asking for play.  That doesn't automatically mean I'm going to say yes.



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