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seaturtle50 -> RE: Is There Really Such a Thing Called "Love at First Sight?" (2/1/2006 2:15:54 PM)
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Yes, i have experienced love at first sight.
It was love at first glace really. At the time i was practicing being "female free" until i was more healthy (emotionally - due to an ended relationship – this is highly suggested by this poster by the way). I also knew a woman would do the same exact thing for me (make me feel instantly better) that a drug would do. So i refused to give into that.
i saw her in a flash, quickly looking away, because i immediately knew i was at risk. That i could not naturally resist her. So in that moment it was just a feeling, not love - not lust - as i only looked upon her for like 5 seconds and immediately looked away. (deliberately refusing to look again).
We were with some mutual friends, and she announced that she had just relocated to the area. That her and her husband had recently separated, and that he was living with his new gf.
Of course my maleness advised me this was the perfect opportunity to greet her, to meet, her, to welcome her. But i did not. Preferring to remain true to my decision to focus on myself, in order to be ready when i did meet someone (in order to be in a healthy relationship - one must first be healthy)
i left the gathering an hour later, somehow proud of myself that i was true to myself. i did not shake her hand in welcome, i did not steal an opportunity to look her in the eyes. i simply left.
The next day i was sitting on my front porch, enjoying a spiritual connection moment, and the blue sky and clouds, when an SUV pulled up two doors down. She gets out - opens the back and begins to unload her belongings - to take into her new apartment. She is in fact my new neighbor. i distinctly remember looking up in reference to the spirituality i was attempting to know, holding up my hands, and asking "what?" <as in, "what do you want of me?">
So over i go, reminding her of my presence in the room the day before, welcoming her to the neighborhood, and offering help with the unload. The very first question I asked her was “how is your husband doing?” The very first thing she said to me was "Oh, that’s over." I believed her.
So - push to shove, longer story made short. Yes, over the course of getting to know her during the following year, i fell in love with her. More importantly i also stood in love with her. i loved. i have never loved like that, before or since.
It remains amazing to me how i knew in that first several second glance. Of my susceptibility to her.
ps: 18 years have passed. She went back with him after that first year. She told me she had never loved anyone the way she loved me. She told me "You are everything he is not" but then she left me for him. She said she loved me as never she had loved before in her entire life ... but could not see herself acting on that as she also loved her husband and children. Then she left.
That was 18 years ago. My love has never wavered. No matter what. No matter.
It is my love. It belongs to me, is self-contained and is not contingent on the relative proximity of my beloved. i went to a place recently to see her. A place where i knew she would be. Mutual friends et al. i just wanted to see her and hear her voice ... those things were given to me.
So the moral of my story;
[;)] Yes, it is possible
[;)] It does not have anything to do with lust (although romantic relationships between a man and a woman <or any such partners> are most enhanced when a lust component also presents itself ;-)
[8|] Be careful what you pray for
[:(] The single worse thing that has ever happen to me was falling in love with her at that time in our lives.
[:(] The single greatest thing that has ever happened to me was falling in love with her at that time in our lives.
[8|] When one has a recently ended relationship, and thinks they may be "falling in love" with another ... i would suggest they research "transference" a bit in conjunction with some soul searching and self honesty.
[8D] The "standing in love" part of love - are the aspects that most have enduring value. These revolve largely around a decision that one makes, after the "feelings" of "falling" in love <which are closely related to, and naturally produced by being strangers in the beginning, and the relaxing of boundaries> wear off. These "falling" feelings are often understood and confused with "love." When in fact they are just exhilarating human experiences, magnified even further by the oft introduced sexual experience - combining to make this the single most exhilarating experience known to man.
[:@] A separated woman is not a divorced woman.
St50
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