Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Site Mentors


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Site Mentors Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 7:32:32 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*smoooches BK and breathes*

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 7:44:25 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

I was contacted by a female on CM, asking a few general questions with regards to my profile. I replied, and she recommended that I seek a mentor and just happened to know someone she could put me in touch with, conveniently he was online right at that moment (lucky me!).

He then dropped me a lined and referred to himself as 'we', so I probed a little and asked who 'we' are, and he said 'site mentors' and went on to explain...

"it all started about 3 years ago when a lot of new people to the lifestyle were being exploited by the various pervs and pic hunters on here so a group of us long term members approached the then moderator(i believe its changed since) for permission to at least give the new starters an idea about it all so they can make an informed choice"
 
Now, I've dug around a bit on the forums and can't find anything in reference to offical site mentors. Call me cynical, but it smells more than a little fishy. I am a relatively new member here though, so there's every chance I'm being a little cautious and he is, in fact, all that he claims to be.

Has anyone else ever been mentored by an offical approved mentor?



What a clever(not) new concept on trolling for newbies! Pretend to be a woman that knows this really great guy that........surprise surprise, just happens to be online right now! "Oh muyyyy gawwwwwwwdddddd! How totally Awwwwwsummmmmm!" And he is so great that he is the perfect mentor for inexperienced young women. (repeat above omg totally awsome.....yada yada) Because of his greatness, he would NEVER want to do anything other than, yanno, mentor. No naked pictures, no webcam fun, no hot cyber, just a nice fatherly type mentorship. Of course.....

I have one word for that guy LOOOOOOOSERRRRRRRR!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to crumbledwater)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:12:37 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I'm betting he's her partner and this is their way to troll for a third.
Since they're not being upfront to begin with, don't talk to either of them.

If you want a mentor, read the forums, and see who consistently says stuff that makes you think "That's right!". Then contact that person, tell them how much you admire what they said in a post and ask if you can run a few questions by them from time to time. I don't think you'll ever get turned down doing it that way.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:23:50 AM   
Wolffeman


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

If the offer had come from someone who I had built up a friendship with, and had a level of trust with, then maybe I'd have given it a little more consideration, as it is, he'll just have to go offer his very kind, generous services elsewhere.


I have to drop in my two-cents on this string (make it 25-cents, adjusting for inflation).

Sadly, in both the real and the cyber world, all "offers" of this nature should be considered suspect immediately.  Especially those tendered by people we don't already have some established "comfort factor" with.  However, we all know there are those people who are not savvy, knowledgeable or suspicious enough and someone pays the price of misguided trust.  And those few who truly wish to help, those rare selfless individuals, are then lumped into the same group as the fakers, wankers and trolls.

This truly grates on me, causing much gnashing of teeth, rending of all things rend-able and many other biblical-type demonstrations of anger and frustration.

What qualifies me, or anyone, to act as a mentor, for instance?  I am not advertising, mind you.  I have no "qualifications", no letters, no references to call upon.  All I have is past experience to draw upon, and my forthright and honest nature.  All one must do is get to know me, become comfortable with me, and ask many questions. 

To my great pleasure there is one who has done just that, and she has honored me with her trust, respect and her submission.  Wolffeman: one, fakers: zero!

Oh what a very fortunate and happy Dom I am!  And to all the fakers out there, thanks for nothing!

(in reply to crumbledwater)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:32:54 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		There are two sticky threads for dominants who are willing to mentor and submissives who are willing to mentor each other on one of the other sites I visit, but they still aren't official/approved. A lot of people use "mentor" as a euphamism - sure, they're going to "train" you how to have oral sex, or screen your potential partners for you. If someone has a profile or posts that appeal to you, you can e-mail them and ask their opinion about things, but a formal "mentoring" relationship isn't necesary.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:38:32 AM   
Wolffeman


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

If someone has a profile or posts that appeal to you, you can e-mail them and ask their opinion about things, but a formal "mentoring" relationship isn't necesary.


Indeed.  This is a very good point, and one that was also mentioned in a prior reply.

(in reply to Andalusite)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:48:42 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolffeman

What qualifies me, or anyone, to act as a mentor, for instance?  (snip)  All one must do is get to know me, become comfortable with me, and ask many questions. 

To my great pleasure there is one who has done just that, and she has honored me with her trust, respect and her submission. 


A mentee does not submit to the mentor.  Sounds like you found yourself a submissive. 

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Wolffeman)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:54:18 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Unfortunately that submissive only found herself a mentor , not a master.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 8:54:43 AM   
Wolffeman


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

A mentee does not submit to the mentor. Sounds like you found yourself a submissive.


Indeed, CC...and to be accurate, she found me.

(in reply to CalifChick)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 10:31:58 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		There's no garauntee that this is even a group, it could simply be one person with multiple profiles.  I've seen similar stunts on other websites before.  I would suggest that the OP report the profile and emails to the site admin.  From my own experience they do seem interested in keeping tabs on such things.

As for mentoring... this is such a worn out debate, so I'll keep my remarks brief.

A mentor is nothing more than an advisor.  If you went to college, you probably had an advisor or mentor.  That person didn't make your decisions for you, the gave you advice which you had to decide on for yourself.  Mentor's don't even need to be someone who knows you.  Anyone can look to the life of another as and example to follow.  In my own life, I've viewed a variety of people as mentors who have no idea I exist, which is fine... the point for me was that I looked at their accomplishments in some specific area of their life as an example I wanted to emulate in a similar area of my own life.  Any number of individuals on these forums could be such "mentors by example" to any number of people... and never know.

But a mentor's advice should never be a substitute for your own judgement.  If a "mentor" seems to have an ulterior motive... well... think about it and use your own judgement.

There are those who geniunely offer advice and guidance without an ulterior motive.  And there are and always will be those who use the label "mentor" as an excuse to manipulate and "dominate" someone... and those who let them, and one is as much to blame as the other.  Why do they do it?  Who knows... we could speculate all day as to why some feel the need to hide behind being a "mentor" rather than just openly being a Dom or Master... or why some submissives allow themselves to be "mentored" instead of just admitting they're submitting to a dominant.  People do strange things for strange reasons.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Wolffeman)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 10:36:05 AM   
crumbledwater


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline 		Padriag, I think it was when he mentioned 'webcam' that it occured to me that he wasn't just interested in befriending me! I truly didn't for one moment contemplate exchanging IM addresses with him for 'further discussion'. My reason for posting here was to alert others that this goes on; that they may be appraoched by someone who portays themself as a caring individual, but who has ulterior motives.

I think anyone falling for that trap would have to be pretty naive or foolish.

(in reply to Padriag)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 11:49:21 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

I think anyone falling for that trap would have to be pretty naive or foolish.

You may or may not be amazed at how many are that naive or foolish.

But then again, I wonder how many are neither that naive or foolish, but pretend to be.

Like I said, people are strange.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to crumbledwater)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 12:07:31 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		I want a make-believe badge too!

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 12:43:43 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		crumbledwater... my compliments for smelling the bullshit on this one.  I must say that it was a very clever line to dupe new people... or more particular nieve new people.  It's rather concerning that someone is taking such an elaborate effort to "mentor someone".  It makes me wonder what they are really after.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to crumbledwater)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 1:21:42 PM   
PanthersMom


Posts: 2215
Joined: 11/26/2007
From: Cleveland Ohio
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I want a make-believe badge too!


wait i'll go get the aluminum foil and we'll make badges!
PM

_____________________________

That which does not kill me, better run pretty damn fast

I miss my ex, but my aim is improving!




(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 2:23:32 PM   
crumbledwater


Posts: 27
Joined: 2/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I want a make-believe badge too!


wait i'll go get the aluminum foil and we'll make badges!
PM


I have some safety pins and sticky tape!

Knight... it makes me wonder too. I did ask 'her' what was in it for her, and she just said she likes to help people. One day I hope I might be quite so selfless :)

(in reply to PanthersMom)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 2:36:05 PM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

There are numerous official CM site wankers.  Did you misread what he wrote?  


Oooh, that's a good point.... mentor/man-whore?


Somebody paged me????

It is wise to have a healthy level of skepticism and as everyone pointed out, there are no official cm mentors here.


_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to crumbledwater)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 2:43:28 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		There are some pretty good folk here amongst those not so good. Were it me, I'd be lurking for a while (I did for five years under another name), list some of those who post regularly and whose posts seem credible including the attitude which comes across then check out their profiles on the other side and if I knew a couple of people try to find out the reputation of those people and then after many hours of brooding (as only a Celt can) make initial contact with what seems to be the best and see what happens. Again when in doubt cease contact. However I'd been involved in forums as a member and in some cases a moderator and owned of a couple too, for a number of years prior of even hearing about CM so I was somewhat hardened. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 3:00:29 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crumbledwater

quote:

ORIGINAL: PanthersMom

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I want a make-believe badge too!


wait i'll go get the aluminum foil and we'll make badges!
PM


I have some safety pins and sticky tape!



Don't forget the GLITTER!!!!!!

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to crumbledwater)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Site Mentors - 4/28/2009 4:48:22 PM   
GotSteel


Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I want a make-believe badge too!


Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Site Mentors Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094