CreativeDominant
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Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: blackni66erslave
Why do people in the bdsm comunity get so bent out of shape when the hear racial domination.Im a black male slave,who has been serving a white Dom since i was 8 yeears old.and i love him for it.Im now 32 and i still love to serve whites.but some of the people here don"t like me because of it.Why? I go into a chat room and im banded because of my name.Im a slave to the bone.so why do people here out of all places no accept it.
Hello and welcome to the boards.
My criticism? The same as many...the middle part of your name is offensive to me but not for the same reason it is for many people. I've heard black people say that it's O.K. for them to use it amongst themselves but not for a white person to use it because "the word carries different meanings depending on who it is used by". I call B. S. on that. If I can be charged with "hate speech" for using it by some overly-sensitive D.A. looking to make a name for himself, then you should not be allowed to use it either. Of course...that's in a perfect world but remember...just because you don't mind it because it happens to fit into your world doesn't mean that there aren't other blacks and whites around you who resent hearing the term and being forced non-consentually into your dynamic. It is the same as the D/s couple who see nothing wrong with having the submissive kneel down at a restaurant to receive a berating for some wrongdoing or the vanilla couple who begin to argue at a nightclub and escalate it into a screaming match...it is forcing others to participate, even if only as spectators, to a side of your dynamic that they would just as soon not see.
As to the racial domination...to each their own. As LadyPact said, in WIITWD, there are just some things that flip some people's switches in a positive way...things such as rape, female supremacy, golden showers, bloodletting...that reallllllllllly fire other people up in a negative way. A preference for a certain race and then basing aspects of the D/s...humiliation, the sexual attraction, the place in the dynamic...ON that racial difference is another of those that seems to stir people up. All you need to do to see that is to view some of the comments on here or on any thread where this preference and the means of expressing that preference are discussed and you will see what I mean. Witness some of the comments on here...
Someone feels that picking a slave/dominant BECAUSE of their color is wrong. Why? If I want to do rape play, then I am going to pick someone who is into the idea of it. If I want to do golden showers, I am going to pick someone who is into that. If I like the way a redhead's complexion "colors up" when I beat them, then I am going to pick a redhead.
Another person says they aren't comfortable with stereotypes...and yet, we all stereotype, like it or not, with almost everyone we meet. Just because a white submissive says she seeks out and prefers a black dominant, it does not automatically mean they are stereotyping...you'd have to sit down and listen to their reasons for it. If their reasons are that they love the color contrast, that they prefer the smell, that there is a difference in the way most black dominant men treat their women as compared to most white dominant men and they like that difference, then is that stereotyping or are those reasons every bit as valid as saying "I prefer a curvaceous woman as opposed to a fat woman" or "I prefer an athletically-built tall male vs. a roly-poly, short, good-natured guy" or even "I prefer someone of my own race"?
Someone states that skin color should not be used for humiliation or degradation...for heaven's sake, why not within the context of play? If it is O.K. to humiliate your slave by "play" raping them, to humiliate them (consensually) by having them participate in a gang-bang, to humiliate and "put them into their place" by using a golden shower, then why should it not be O.K. to humilate someone by playing into the "racial difference" card? If something is not O.K. to you (the general you), then by all means...do NOT participate. But if there is something in YOUR repertoire that might make others cringe, stop and think about why they might cringe and realize that we all have different triggers. This is not something...the racial card... that is going to kill the O.P. or anyone else unless they let it become harmful mentally or physically and hopefully, they will know how to recognize what is positive for them and what is not. Hopefully, the O.P. or anyone else who chooses to engage in this play will know whether or not they are being abused but let's remember this: how many threads have we seen wherein a submissive was told by some that she/he was being abused and told by others that it was his/her dynamic and that she had to judge for herself? Guidelines were given as to what constitutes abuse...a negative feeling about oneself, harm of a physical or mental or emotional nature that lingers long after the incident that led to that feeling has passed, etc., etc.
Several years ago, I was involved with a submissive who loved black dominants in a different way than she loved white dominants. There were aspects of the racial difference that really appealed to her, especially when she was lucky enough to find an intelligent black dominant who knew how to listen to her and then play off those aspects of her wants and desires. She did not think they were better than white men, she did not think they were physically superior to white men, she did not think that she was superior to them but the differences...and the emphasis of those differences...was what she loved to have played.
< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 4/30/2009 7:52:42 AM >
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