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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 10:55:06 AM   
breatheasone


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It MAY depend on what the meaning of the word is IS...... LMAO

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 11:28:03 AM   
StormsSlave


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Well, you're right in saying people definitely need to do some research on word meanings before running off at the keyboard, so to speak.  One thing you can be sure of on this site is that if an individual does use a word wrongly, they will be corrected at least a hundred times, usually in the most caustic, abrasive manner possible, and seemingly in a manner to express the superioirity of the person doing the correcting.  I don't think there's much danger of such language criminals getting away with it for too long.

< Message edited by StormsSlave -- 4/30/2009 11:43:12 AM >


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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 11:34:19 AM   
DemonKia


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This is why negotiation gets me hot . .. . .

Reading thru this thread, the parallel that sprang to my mind is of my being perceived as politically 'liberal' -- all kinds of notions of what that means sprang into all kinds of minds at that word, & the chances of any of those meanings matching up with my own meaning is kinda remote . . .. . . Similarly with the ways in which I consider myself to be 'conservative', all kinds of meaning are attached to that word, but there's not much I can do to shape how that forms in the minds of others . . . . . .

I stay out of a lot of political discussions because the necessity of setting up the definitional framework is too much effort to be worth the return, for me . .... .

Frankly, in comparison, kink terminology is fairly precise . . .. .

Oh. & I chime in with the school pointing out that how the 'vanilla world out there' views WIITWD, & how we view ourselves adds yet another framing dilemma to the mix . . . . We might think that blow-jobs are downright vanilla, but there are still plenty of 'nillas out there who view oral sex as evil, reprehensible, dangerous, dirty, & kinky . ... . . & all our carefully calibrated degrees of non-monogamy prolly just end up being lumped under 'fooling around', 'looseness', 'polygamy', or similar sentiments in the eyes of those who are strangers to anything but standard issue monogamy . . . . . .

Excellent post, LP! It's yet another vote for the necessity of communication . . . . . .

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 11:36:45 AM   
SteelofUtah


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Those who know me know I have an issue with definition threads. The Argument of semantics over one Lexicon's version of a word versus anothers belief of what the definition should entail is aggrovating to no end.

Beyond that once you have an agreed concept of what you are trying to attack now one must ask themselves are we defining this as a Noun or an Adjective, Hell Why not a Verb for those who believe that are a Dominate.

I was not very good in english class but I love the idea of words because of the fact that I can use a word.... even incorrectly and still get the IDEA of what I am saying across.

For the most part people on CollarMe can agree to some degree on the basic ideas of Dominant/submissive, Master/slave, Top/bottom, etc. etc. In Fact when one says Dominant depending on the contect we can usually tell if we are talking about a person or an act or trait. We even get the idea when one person says they are a sub and the other says they are a slave, we at least know what side of the kneel they are on.

The Problem comes when we are asked to define what each of these words mean especially when someone wants Dominant to be a Noun..... There is no accepted Definition for Dominant as a Noun, nor is there one for submissive as a noun. This is what people argue over because since there is no widely accpeted answer as to what it is we decide to make up our own. In doing that our definitions are used to segregare in the idea that a Dominant is This and NOT this meaning if you are NOT this then you are NOT a Dominant.

The semantic Arguments over the difference between a sub and a slave. This is one that drives me up a fucking wall. You can call yourself whatever you want but to say that one is more than the other I would beg to differ the only real difference is that a Slave is a Noun and submissive is an Adjective, A Slave has no choice as to their position and a submissive is usually a personality choice. Beyond that anything else you put behind it YOU PUT BEHIND IT.

Rarely will you hear me say this, but SailingBum is spot on. (I will deny saying this in the future) If I am in a relationship with someone it is our definitions that matter and fuck who doesn't like it. If I want i'll Define Myself as BitchBoy the Wonderful and Order my girl who I'll define as SuperBitch of the Wonderclan and Fuck anyone who wants to say I am wrong because while in our home we like what we are doing and enjoy it and I could care less if you definition matches mine because I am happy.

Steel

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 12:14:09 PM   
marie2


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Some people think that cheating behind someone's back can fall under the umbrella of being poly, some people think that being a swinger is being poly, some couples think that having a play partner to fuck as a threesome once in a while is being poly.  I guess technically if you're  fucking more than one person you're "poly".  And it sounds a whole lot nicer than calling yourself a whore.

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 12:27:02 PM   
StormsSlave


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Becoming involved in the local Swinger's Community in our parts, we have discovered that many Swingers consider non-swingers, including BDSM'ers, to be "Vanilla."  I guess it depends on personal perspective.

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 12:31:16 PM   
marie2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Becoming involved in the local Swinger's Community in our parts, we have discovered that many Swingers consider non-swingers, including BDSM'ers, to be "Vanilla."  I guess it depends on personal perspective.


Absolutely. 

But that's kind of funny.  I thought we were the only people who used the term "vanilla".

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 12:35:55 PM   
SteelofUtah


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Actually if you Google the term "The Lifestyle" you will get back a LOT of references to Swinging.

Odd isn't it?

Steel

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 12:38:44 PM   
Vendaval


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And here all this time I thought "Lifestyle" was a brand of condoms! 

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 12:58:36 PM   
SailingBum


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Becoming involved in the local Swinger's Community in our parts, we have discovered that many Swingers consider non-swingers, including BDSM'ers, to be "Vanilla."  I guess it depends on personal perspective.


Thought we jsut spent the last 10 posts covering that.  Who says girls dont listen..... they listen with one ear and the other says pay no mind that was male type speak.

I knew steel that your a secret admirer of my posts.  Smirk

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 1:35:32 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

What did draw My attention, not only today but last week as well, was the tendency for some to use terms in an incorrect manner stated as fact.  For example, poly is not an synonym for open marriage.  (It not a synonym for swingers, either, if you're wondering.) 

 
I'm sorry to be the bearer of what might be unpleasant news, but this in itself is an inaccurate statement.  As I said on that other thread just moments ago, open poly structures and closed poly structures are both equally "poly."  The only real difference lies in the personal preferences and choices of the people involved.

quote:

Different terms mean different things to different people.  There are many that have multiple meanings in regard to wiitwd.  My definition of a term may not agree with yours or even be the most popularly accepted, however it not being so does not negate it.  Please do not use yours to paint misconceptions on people with such a big brush.

Thank you.



Agreed.  Neither do those differences negate those other people's definitions. 

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 1:59:19 PM   
Mercnbeth


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quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2

quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Becoming involved in the local Swinger's Community in our parts, we have discovered that many Swingers consider non-swingers, including BDSM'ers, to be "Vanilla."  I guess it depends on personal perspective.


Absolutely. 

But that's kind of funny.  I thought we were the only people who used the term "vanilla".


folks have been using the term "vanilla" for awhile to describe a conventional version of something.
 
here's a few examples:

Information Technology: 
quote:

vanilla (pronounced vah-NIHL-uh ) is an adjective meaning plain or basic. The unfeatured version of a product is sometimes referred to as the vanilla version. The term is based on the fact that vanilla is the most popular or at least the most commonly served flavor of ice cream. Or, as Eric Raymond, editor of The New Hacker's Dictionary , puts it, the default ice cream.
IBM's BookMaster product, a text publishing system used in mainframe environments, provides a default way, called vanilla, to specify which parts of the book to publish, and another fancier way to specify it, called mocha .
Some Web sites with frames call the simpler version of their site the vanilla version.

http://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/0,,sid9_gci213272,00.html



quote:

plain vanillaRefers to the bare minimum of functions that are known to be available in an application or system. Contrast with bells and whistles.

 
http://www.pcmag.com/encyclopedia_term/0,2542,t=plain+vanilla&i=49345,00.asp


 
Business/Financial Investments: 

quote:

Vanilla Option:  A category of options which include only those with the most standard components.  A plain vanilla option has an expiration date and straightforward strike price.  American style options and European style options are both categorized as plain vanilla options.  opposite of exotic option.

http://www.investorwords.com/6884/plain_vanilla_option.html


 
Physics Research:

quote:

While it is true that requirements on ID can be very analysis dependent, the CDF and DØ experience shows that especially in the early stages of the experiment it is very convenient to have generic ("vanilla") definitions of electrons and photons.

http://uscms.org/LPC/lpc_eg/vanilla_id.htm

 
Sex:

quote:

These days... it's all vanilla sex for me.

...Larry Flynt



Music:

quote:

When you hear my records today, you hear a vanilla sounding artist with no black inflection, although I was trying to imitate what I heard.

...Pat Boone


 
Computer R.P.G.:


quote:

In Vanilla Gamist play, what to compete about (or to achieve, or to be challenged about, if you prefer these terms) is relatively informal, and not too dependent on specified personal tactics. In other words, you can "lose" without it reflecting much on you as a player. It might often have a high degree of randomness, or have a number of small Colorful variables rather than one crucial live-or-die ones, or be pretty easy and no big deal to keep playing after loss conditions apply.

Such play is usually humorous, which isn't hard to understand - if you're playing in a challenge/competition context and losing/failing isn't a big deal, then it's a low-threat "pickup" kind of experience. Examples of designs that lend themselves to this sort of play include Tunnels & Trolls, Toon, and Paranoia. 
 http://www.indie-rpgs.com/forum/index.php?topic=4299.0

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 2:09:22 PM   
StormsSlave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave

Becoming involved in the local Swinger's Community in our parts, we have discovered that many Swingers consider non-swingers, including BDSM'ers, to be "Vanilla."  I guess it depends on personal perspective.


Thought we jsut spent the last 10 posts covering that.  Who says girls dont listen..... they listen with one ear and the other says pay no mind that was male type speak.

...

BadOne



It's quite possible that was a statement of agreement  Of course, boys are very observant, so I'm terribly surprised you didn't notice.  ;)

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 2:11:50 PM   
marie2


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Yes, well, it's a very sheltered life under this rock of mine.  :)

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 3:18:59 PM   
littlewonder


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A lot of people like to jump on bandwagons.

So when they hear a term that sounds "kewl" the adopt it as their own and use it so they'll be part of the "kewl crowd" even though in reality they don't even know what the word means and they are using it as a passing fad.

It happens a lot around these parts.

It's one of the reasons that when someone starts using the same terms as me I always ask them what they mean. I've learned from experience that very few people in bdsm have the same definitions for the same words.

I think it's just kinda funny these days that no one seems to know how to use a dictionary. Easier to just make up their own definitions.

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 5:37:51 PM   
LadyPact


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Again, let Me thank everyone for the contributions.  Just a few comments to let everyone know that I was listening.

SB, just a reminder, Dear.  You do, in fact, make Me laugh.

Steel, I actually was thinking something similar about some of the things you said just recently.  It's been quite a while since we've had any of those twenty page threads about the difference between sub and slave, or Dom and Master.  (Thank goodness.)  Either that, or I had the intelligence <gasp> to avoid them.

It is actually the.dark. who is right.  (My best to Darcy.)  I did not spell out the word in My comments.  Poly does, in fact, mean many.  In My own habit of abbreviating it, I may have helped to contribute to the confusion.  Had I written the term out as polyamorous, meaning many loves, it might have come across differently.


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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 6:06:37 PM   
DomImus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: StormsSlave
and seemingly in a manner to express the superiority of the person doing the correcting


Hold your cards, folks. We have a bingo.

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 6:14:56 PM   
ElectraGlide


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Ladypact I have a self definition of myself when I entered the real time lifestyle. When someone asked me what I was at a munch, I would say I was a Determined Dominant of Unknown Denomination. They would say what the hell is that, I would say, I am a single Top looking to move up to a Dom or Master, lol.

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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 6:36:06 PM   
SailingBum


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LP  I lust after you ...  You body fits so nicely around those clothes

BadOne


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RE: Incorrect representation through terminology - 4/30/2009 6:38:47 PM   
LadyPact


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If you think I'm wearing this getup on the boat, you're sadly mistaken.  

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