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RE: New To This - 5/2/2009 12:48:55 PM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		So i take it you are maybe a bit bored and wandring around here for some inspiration? Nothing wrong with that in my opinion...i do however hope you wil be able to draw your husband in...it is not good for your real life relationship if you persue this on the sneak, unless you find out it's not really what you want anyway.
As for taking a collar...i recently had it suggested to me by a Cyber Dom, i chose a nice necklace, it is only special because you know what it means...and the meaning can just as easily 'rub' off...He dissappeared...cyber can be very fickle... Have fun and good luck.

(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: New To This - 5/3/2009 12:19:50 PM   
mindtrap


Posts: 14
Joined: 4/14/2009
Status: offline 		quote:

ORIGINAL: WhtEvaULike

New to this and just had a question . When being collared does it have to be a collar or can it be anything that you and your "Sir" Or "Master" agree on ?? In my case I am married and my hubby know's nothing of this so to wear a collar may be difficult so I was thinking a ring or a braclet is that out of the question or how does that work?? Thanks


I am telling you from very personal experience .  STOP NOW.  Talk to your husband,  if you can't work it out or you don't want to work it out,  be honest with him.  If this is the life you choose or need to live and he has no part in it let him know it.  He may surprise you.  But if you are ready to be collared than i assume that ship has sailed.  I don't know what kind of person he is or you, but I will say that honesty no matter how painful is better than deceitfulness.  You'll sleep better


_____________________________

"Looking for myself in a desolate place, Trapped within my Mind, who or what will I find?"

(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: New To This - 5/3/2009 5:20:18 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		it can be anything that is agreed upon

(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: New To This - 5/4/2009 1:55:13 AM   
SIRLOINSTEAK


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		hold on, someone said to not do this because we have seen enough people crash and burn!! We can never see enough people crash and burn.

We need a runway were people are allowed to crash and burn, and spectators should be located on or near the runway.

(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: New To This - 5/4/2009 1:56:54 AM   
SIRLOINSTEAK


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/30/2009
Status: offline 		you can never see enough people crash and burn. ;0

(in reply to ElectraGlide)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: New To This - 5/4/2009 2:41:26 AM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		The collar can be anything Y/you choose.

I had a sub who had a public facing job. A real life collar was impractical, and would have adversely affected her work. She wore an anklet chain. She knew what it meant. I knew what it meant. It was private between U/us, and neither od U/us were known in our public personae as either Dominant or sub.

I don't know anything of your home circumstances. Hiding things from a spouse is generally a bad idea. It might at least be worth exploring the idea with husband before committing elsewhere. Then again, I do it. She knows I'm Dominant. She isn't sub, and the idea of it she finds - less than delightful. I don't tell her when I find a sub. She doesn't ask.That dynamic works for My kids. I suspect from the comments above that perhaps one or two might disagree with My choice. But it's My choice. Be sensible. Look at all the options. Secrecy is hard work and if you get found out a crash is likely. I wonder how many of your critics wear their collars in public? If not, isn't that sin by omission? Do their kids know that mom & dad play "kinky games"? If not, why not? If you're going to throw up the honesty / honour / trust issue - which IS important - are you sure you are comfortable looking in the mirror before you do? let he who is without sin cast the first stone.... I'm a sinner. Here endeth the sermon.

(in reply to SIRLOINSTEAK)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: New To This - 5/4/2009 3:42:57 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Collars arent always collar, they can be any piece of jewelery you want.

(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: New To This - 5/4/2009 2:16:25 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: Fitznicely


quote:

ORIGINAL: WhtEvaULike

New to this and just had a question . When being collared does it have to be a collar or can it be anything that you and your "Sir" Or "Master" agree on ?? In my case I am married and my hubby know's nothing of this so to wear a collar may be difficult so I was thinking a ring or a braclet is that out of the question or how does that work?? Thanks


It can be anything of significance between you and your Owner.

However, if you're new, I don't think it's something you need to worry about just yet. If someone wants to collar you when you're unsure even of it's significance, then your answer should be "No thanks".




OP, you're asking the wrong question, IMHO. You're putting the cart before the horse.

Better questions would be "Why am I staying married to someone I'm not being honest with? Is that fair to him? Don't both of us deserve to be married to someone who we can be our authentic selves with? Am I wasting both of our time, by staying married to someone who I feel compelled to deceive? What am I afraid of? How long am I willing or able to hide this part of myself away from him? What are my motivations, and why? Am I acting  out of love, or more out of fear? What do I have to lose, and is it worth it?"

Things like that, would be good questions to start with. Or you may wish you had, when they come up later.


EXACTLY!!!! 

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 1:23:36 PM   
WhtEvaULike


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		Wow I guess I created a ruckas .. These are just things I am wondering about I do not have a Master or a Sir I do have someone that has asked me about this but I am married and I do consider my wedding ring to be something very special. I do not want to do anything to hurt the one I truely love. He is also learning of some of my new interests and I am thinking he would be willing to do what ever I asked or told him to do. Thanks for all the imput

(in reply to ElectraGlide)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:21:54 PM   
MSTRMICHAELslut


Posts: 2
Joined: 5/5/2009
Status: offline 		Ye Gawdz, you guys are judgemental on here! I think she was just asking about the collar :)

(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:24:11 PM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		I think you should have your new masters initials tatood across your forehead. Just tell your husband it's a new age thing. He'll never figure it out.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:42:03 PM   
AngelGeena


Posts: 1324
Joined: 10/17/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thishereboi

I think you should have your new masters initials tatood across your forehead. Just tell your husband it's a new age thing. He'll never figure it out.




_____________________________

Owned heart and soul, bound to MZ forever.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:45:05 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		You could try a big scarlet A.



                    


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to AngelGeena)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:47:09 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Oh My freaking stars!!!!!

Hiya Loki.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:48:09 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Heya luv. How are you doing?


Slurp!


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:52:15 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Even better now since I've had a troll slurp.  Ain't had one of them in years.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 8:58:49 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		Well I can't promise they will be plentiful. I have a lot going on and the winters... and sadly the spring is getting worse on me. I was poking around...  *chuckles* ... mainly to annoy BSB and to get in touch with SimplyMichael and check on a few other things... like how fucking long does it take a sub to crawl to me, Aquatic... but by summers end I should be ready to make the National Troll tour so I have to get event dates and such. I see that your honey is coming home, can a get a whooo hoooo?

Slurp


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: New To This - 5/5/2009 9:11:48 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Wooooo Hoooooot.  Eighteen hours and counting!

Speaking of honeys, a word or two for the actual OP.  Take it from a gal who knows.  Start talking to your other half.  If you've already started talking, then talk some more. 

If you're just starting out, I'd suggest getting a copy of the book "When Someone You Love is Kinky."  Read it.  If you can see some of yourself in there, ask your husband to read it.  Then you can discuss the things that you are interested in, using terminology that you can both understand.  You can use the book as a guide and reference to communicate with your husband.  He may or may not be willing to participate with you, but at least you'd be giving him the chance.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: New To This - 5/6/2009 10:52:06 AM   
WhtEvaULike


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		Ok I guess I created a ruckas . This is all something that I am curious about and I do have someone that would maybe at some point like to collar me or what ever it might be but yes I am married and No my husband does not know of this he knows of some of my recent ideas and wants and he is ok with them but me being collared would mean maybe alot more commitment than I am willing to give another man other than my husband. I thought this was just a forum to maybe learn what I can about this lifestyle. And maybe chat and learn more is that wrong of me?

(in reply to WhtEvaULike)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: New To This - 5/6/2009 10:58:52 AM   
WhtEvaULike


Posts: 5
Joined: 4/30/2009
Status: offline 		Thanks for the info on the book. All I am asking is for a lil input and where to turn for info on this lifestyle.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 40
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