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Hard - 5/2/2009 8:31:47 PM   
Handsomefella26


Posts: 5
Status: offline 		Why is it hard for a black male sub to find a mistress?

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"A deam is only unattainable when you sleep on it.."S.W
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Hard - 5/2/2009 9:24:47 PM   
DemonKia


Posts: 5521
Joined: 10/13/2007
From: Chico, Nor-Cali
Status: offline 		FR

Welcome to CM . .... .

I'm gonna stay entirely out of the race thing, for the moment, & offer up some info about finding lust / love / or whatever here on CM:

Asking yourself -- Where are the 'real' people? Why can't I find anyone on here?

Read these:

For men: how to find a woman here
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=1717756

The same 10 questions always asked
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2583294

5 Most Annoying Traits
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2587691

What 10 questions should be asked?
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2584748

This is not a grocery store of lust, there are no Walmarts of kink, & dating is dating, mate-finding is mate-finding, no matter who, what, when, why, or where.

& politeness, patience, & respect go a long way to easing one's way in all kinds of circumstances . . .. . .

Best of luck on your journey . . . .

(The above is a new feature of my profile, FYI . . .. . )

_____________________________

Snarko ergo sum.



The Verbossinator

(in reply to Handsomefella26)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Hard - 5/2/2009 9:47:50 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		Dommess are just trying to keep the brotha man down.

Seriously?

Finding a Domme is hard for everyone, race is the least of your worries.


_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to DemonKia)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Hard - 5/2/2009 10:35:52 PM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		Dommes, subs, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, wives, husbands, friends. This isn't about BDSM, this is about life.

It isn't easy to find a deep connection with anyone. It's no different here. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find your "one". It's that simple.

I

(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 3:49:43 AM   
masmiss


Posts: 494
Joined: 2/16/2009
From: New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetOrSour

Dommes, subs, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, wives, husbands, friends. This isn't about BDSM, this is about life.

It isn't easy to find a deep connection with anyone. It's no different here. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find your "one". It's that simple.

I


Couldn't have said it better myself.


_____________________________

I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

-William Ernest Henley

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 6:29:04 AM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		It's good to see you posting, as this is a good place to see and be seen...  But, your profile says you signed up 4 days ago; is that how long you've been here, and already complaining?   As everyone has already said, it's difficult for everyone to find compatible partners, and you are no exception.

Your profile says you've been apart, when you maybe mean to say a part of (rather than sounding like you're 26, but have been apart from D/s for 5years).   
Welcome,   M

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to Handsomefella26)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 6:57:43 AM   
Handsomefella26


Posts: 5
Status: offline 		I was on this site years ago but left because I didn't make a connection with anyone.  It has been frozen since december.  I've spoken to a few people but nothing came out of it. I'm not complaining, it was just a question

< Message edited by Handsomefella26 -- 5/3/2009 7:05:27 AM >

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"A deam is only unattainable when you sleep on it.."S.W

(in reply to FullfigRIMAAM1)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 7:40:45 AM   
LovingMistress45


Posts: 271
Joined: 2/7/2009
Status: offline 		First I don't think race has a thing to do with it.  Female dominants get a lot of responses from men and most are not worth the time of responding. So, unless you are sending personal responses that indicate you have read the profile of the person and that you feel there are some points of connection other than she is dominant and a woman that could be part of your problem.

Second posting a whiney post doesn't help.  Implying that race is the reason you can't get is Mistress won't help you.  Speaking strictly for myself - I am on a purely physical level more attracted to black men and assuming the pic is you, you are very appealing on a physical level.  However, your post here is a total turn off for me.

You could really use to expand your profile. I have no idea reading your profile what you are looking for.  You have been involved in the lifestyle for 5 years - in what way? What type of relationship are you looking for?  Your last sentence would make me think you are looking for online play, if that is not the case you might consider removing the webcam/mic comment.  I can tell you that will have most of us looking for real relationship skip right over you.

Good luck on your search, but keep in mind finding the right person takes time.  Attending munches is good idea as it will let you meet people in real time not just online.

(in reply to Handsomefella26)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 8:05:11 AM   
chamberqueen


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/25/2007
From: Kalamazoo, MI
Status: offline 		I respectfully disagree.  I think that for some race is a part of it.  We have been so conditioned in the recent past to trying to make sure that we don't unfairly subject someone black to anything that they could relate to former slavery that some hesitate to be in a position of purposely having a black serve them, especially a male.  A white sub serving a black Master has a delicious irony to it for some. 

You will never know if a person has decided not to get involved with you because of your personality or your color until you get to know them better.  I didn't mean to make a blanket statement in any way.  There are many people who are totally color blind when it comes to the how they see other people but sadly it isn't universally true.

My parents are a mixed race couple and so race is spoken of openly by us.  They were married after I was grown but still almost 30 years ago.  There were times when they would go to a restaurant together back then when they were treated in a hostile manner simply for sitting at the same table together.  Things have gotten much better but there are still outsiders who will put pressure on any type of close relationship between people of different colors.  As far as I'm concerned she's the best thing that ever happened to him and I stand behind them 110%, but I know at times their road has been a tough one.


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(in reply to LovingMistress45)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 8:06:44 AM   
MsFlutter


Posts: 1305
Joined: 11/12/2008
From: East Coast
Status: offline 		Race would have nothing to do with it. I'd lose interest the moment I read the screenname
 
Now - a name like 'CookieMaker', 'MayIHelpYouMaam' or 'IOwnAPowerWasher' would make me take a second look!!





_____________________________

'Dont torture yourself, Gomez darling. That's my job' Morticia Addams

"The right data, filtered through an idiot, can yield a bad answer." einstien5201

(in reply to Handsomefella26)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 9:15:32 AM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Handsomefella26

Why is it hard for a black male sub to find a mistress?

...why is it hard for a Blk Mistress to find a blk male sub? I think both questions can be difficult to answer w/ knowing more details...just my opinion.  What factors are making it difficult for you to find or connect w/ a Mistress?


_____________________________

...:: MsDDom ::...
... live Life honestly ...

(in reply to Handsomefella26)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 10:38:50 PM   
GoddessTeaze


Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Handsomefella26

Why is it hard for a black male sub to find a mistress?


your whole profile disapeared,
how do you expect to B found???

I wish you enough

GoddezzT`


_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Handsomefella26)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 10:44:07 PM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsFlutter

Race would have nothing to do with it. I'd lose interest the moment I read the screenname
 
Now - a name like 'CookieMaker', 'MayIHelpYouMaam' or 'IOwnAPowerWasher' would make me take a second look!!





Excuse me, I think I just had an orgasm!!

(in reply to MsFlutter)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 11:00:05 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		I was thinking about changing my name to WorldsGreatestFootMassager, but try not to be too arrogant. I've been told I give amazing foot massages, sadly, I don't have a foot fetish. It is nice to make someone's day by doing something simple like that though. 

_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 11:23:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		You're killin me Blutarsky! lol  After two days of bricks and doing the yard bit, my feet are swollen and... whaaaaaa!  And I have been off them all day!  You just had to rub that in didn't ya?  I don't need my feet worshiped... the massage's... oh baby! lol

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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Hard - 5/3/2009 11:44:40 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline 		Hell, sounds like I'd have you as the sub and me as the Dom in about thirty seconds flat with my magic fingers :)

Don't worry, I'd still let you be in control as you melt in my hands like an M&M in July.




_____________________________

Strong for all, weak for one

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Hard - 5/4/2009 9:39:12 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		LOL... I am sure I can still be dominant when melting... after all, I am a mighty witch!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to SlaveBlutarsky)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Hard - 5/4/2009 9:54:26 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		OP, reread your post (if you're still here).

1. Your emphasis on your race bothers me, and I suspect it bothers Dommes too.

2. Your question is not, "What can I do to increase my chances of attracting a Mistress?"  It is not asking what things you could do to achieve your goals, but complaining without any useful purpose.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Hard - 5/4/2009 12:56:57 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Exactly! Race is not at all an issue with me, until someone else makes it an issue with them and how they are trying to relate to me.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Hard - 5/4/2009 3:08:04 PM   
FullfigRIMAAM1


Posts: 1160
Joined: 11/20/2008
Status: offline 		To be fair to the OP, people ask me all of the time whether I date, or prefer to date white men.   It is also a valid concern on the OP's part, because plenty of people are too uncomfortable with interracial relationships, to consider an interracial connection seriously.

I hate the preference question, because I would never ask someone if they preferred to date women like me, especially if I thought they would answer "no."   My preference, while not race/ethnicity related, is for someone with whom I could talk about social issues, and race matters.   M

< Message edited by FullfigRIMAAM1 -- 5/4/2009 3:09:13 PM >

_____________________________

The place to improve the world is first in one's own heart and head and hands.-Robert M. Persig

Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence Erich Fromm

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 20
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