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Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 11:51:02 AM   
stella41b


Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline 		Have you ever been attracted to someone on the same side of the kneel as you, e.g. dominant attracted to a dominant or submissive attracted to another submissive?

What happened? Has anyone managed to form a successful relationship in this way?

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 12:00:25 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i spose the closest ive got to that was being attracted to a couple of switch types.  but since i wasnt sure how that would go for me i didnt let on and we've just stayed friends.

not what youre looking for i know, but apparently we're all here just killing time, so i thought id kill some time with you. xx

(in reply to stella41b)
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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 12:03:09 PM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, I find I'm attacted to dominant women all the time lmao, but its more the way they look than anything else and no, its never worked out, I don't expect it to really since We're both after the same thing.

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 12:04:24 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline 		Sure.  I tend to be attracted to "alpha" personalities.  My successful relationships have been predominantly with warriors -- military, people who are involved in martial arts, that sort of thing.  My fiance is dominant and we've been together almost seven years.  We'll make it official on July 31.  However, we're also poly so getting the D/s needs met with others isn't a problem for us.

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 12:11:38 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I am attracted to personal strength and have been with dominant personalities and submissive outside of d/s and one submissive inside d/s and bdsm, with shorter relationships with others.  I found I was stronger than most the dominant men I have been with and that would be okay if they were okay with that, but they weren't and we could not work out because of it.  They didn't like that I was stronger emotionally and in some cases financially and became very snarly about it.  Then had something to prove and the more mistakes they made to prove they were bigger and badder than I was... the more I wanted to ring their necks.  So I decided no more head to head combat with a dominant man.

I am finding a difficult time finding a man on any side of the kneel for a number of reasons but head toward a submissive man because of a lot of things including the kink.  Yet, many submissive men are proving to be people I cannot respect because they are often about sex only and are afraid of many things in life that I have going on.  I have more dominant men approching that seem to handle it better, but that head to head thing... besides my not being able to submit to anyone and am not into the submissive kink type things, proves too much for me. lol

I seem to be doing better with vanilla men and that is not where I want to go.  They are seemingly accepting my dominant personality and are somewhat interested in the kinky bits... but been there, done that and I doubt it will happen because it isn't what I want.

I am just a misfit I think! lol  The odds are there... the limitations with location, age and place in life and death... just seem to work against me these days.  So I am not focusing on a relationship with anyone... but some days... it gets a lil old! lol

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 12:47:32 PM   
MsDDom


Posts: 368
Joined: 1/1/2009
From: GA
Status: offline 		i have not been attracted to a dominant male in the lifestyle, but they have been attracted to me.
the flip, i am attracted to males who possess that trait (overt or subtle) on the vanilla side, yet are submissive.  does that man sense? (i am on a little nyquil as i type)...


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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 1:49:06 PM   
Miyani


Posts: 248
Joined: 12/4/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~

I'm a Domme married to a Top. He's not -as- Dominant as Me, some of the time, but he's far from submissive. We've been together 6 years now. Like Sylvere, we're poly, so we get our kink needs met elsewhere. Aside from shared interest in kink, our relationship is actually vanilla.

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 1:53:08 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I've dated a few dominant males briefly and married one. The relationships did not work out because for some reason they thought that I should be the one to always give in. The one that I married we started off as equals but then he thought I should be magically transformed into his submissive christian Mother and that was a big no go. I am happily divorced.

No I stick to submissive males and the relationship has gone much more smoothly.

~Lashra


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(in reply to stella41b)
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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 3:40:24 PM   
ThatDamnedPanda


Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Have you ever been attracted to someone on the same side of the kneel as you, e.g. dominant attracted to a dominant or submissive attracted to another submissive?

What happened? Has anyone managed to form a successful relationship in this way?


Attracted to? Yes, absolutely. Fairly often, in fact. I probably find myself attracted to more submissive women I meet than dominant women. Which I can't for the life of me figure out, but there it is.

But... interested in? No. The chemistry I need to feel in order to feel drawn to someone just can't develop in the absence of some degree of "dominant energy", for lack of a better term. I need to feel a strong personal chemistry with someone before any sort of real relationship can blossom, and if it's not there, it's just not there. And I need to feel a strong sense of dominance in a woman before I can start to feel that "click."


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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 4:26:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I prefer dominant men.  But, I have no desire to top them, or make them submit to me---I just prefer to be with a primary partner whose mind works the same way mine does!  As my VevetBuddy Syl says, it helps to be poly!

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 4:28:17 PM   
army101


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/2/2009
Status: offline 		Yes think chemistry is how we get atracted to others. My self I like other Doms too something in the face the look in the eyes. The respect of others that would rather be in control.

But thats just me. And when it comes play time I like a sub better....less arguing about who gets to use the whip!

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 5:01:12 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		I find myself attracted to dominant women all the time, its the personality. I also feel that some of them are attracted to me, and am assuming its for the same reason, personality. I know of att least one couple that consists of 2 dominant women, which has endured for several years, so it is at least possible. Being in a committed relationship myself, I am of course not following up on any of my attractions, so I couldn't tell how any potential relationship would work.

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 5:05:37 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, sure, absolutely.  The one of whom I think most readily is one of the people I love most in the Universe. 
Also, in general, I prefer strong personalities as mine is formidable and someone who is not able to stand on their own two feet intellectually, interpersonally, etc. will likely be run over. 
  Davan

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 5:12:40 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, and it went well until she moved away to go to college.

(in reply to stella41b)
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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 5:27:59 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Have you ever been attracted to someone on the same side of the kneel as you, e.g. dominant attracted to a dominant or submissive attracted to another submissive?

What happened? Has anyone managed to form a successful relationship in this way?

Once.  She was a dominant woman who I'd become friends with.  She was also just an all around amazing person and we share a lot in common.  As for what happened... life... too much stress in her life, anger she couldn't resolve, and two hard headed people eventually locking horns.  In the end we weren't even friends anymore, an that still makes me a lil sad.  But so things go.

I still miss her friendship most of all.

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 5:52:57 PM   
WyckedDreams


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/7/2008
Status: offline 		For me, I have been attracted to some male Doms, but we both know that we can share our interests.  In between meeting for dinners, or other socials, we both know that neither of us are submissive to the other.
Both Doms are great friends, awesome mentors, and great listeners when I need them. 


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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 6:55:02 PM   
obis


Posts: 412
Joined: 9/9/2005
From: Austin, TX, USA
Status: offline 		Yes, I had a great relationship with a domme for a while when we were both looking for something less than a LTR. She was just a really awesome person with whom I shared vanilla interests and we had a lot of chemistry. We knew it wouldn't work long-term, but we enjoyed the (literal) power struggle in the bedroom and were able to deal with it outside the bedroom simply because we were great friends and not trying to establish a relationship. It would definitely have gotten old after a while and caused frustration for both of us if we'd tried to make it last longer than it did.

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/3/2009 6:59:46 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		I have (in the past) and continue to be attracted to some other submissive females. It has worked out quite well and continues to..............luci

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/4/2009 5:53:20 AM   
tiinkerbell


Posts: 96
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Have you ever been attracted to someone on the same side of the kneel as you, e.g. dominant attracted to a dominant or submissive attracted to another submissive?

What happened? Has anyone managed to form a successful relationship in this way?

Being bisexual, I often find myself attracted to other submissives/slaves  I have had two relationships with other girls; neither was long term though. In the end, for myself, I need to be with a Dominant partner to be fulfilled. Now, a Dominant and another slave; that would be a different story
 
Allison

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RE: Like attracting like - 5/4/2009 7:10:13 AM   
amoryblane


Posts: 40
Joined: 4/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stella41b

Have you ever been attracted to someone on the same side of the kneel as you, e.g. dominant attracted to a dominant or submissive attracted to another submissive?

What happened? Has anyone managed to form a successful relationship in this way?


Sure.  I've been attracted to submissive girls with masochistic tendencies on a number of occasions.  Several times the attraction was reciprocated, and it resulted in some memorable, rewarding, relationships.  But I've never been particularly entangled in Scene politics, nor especially enamored of Lifestyle expectations.  To me, situations are what they are, and relationships in which there is attraction and chemistry tend to develop their own internal logic and lexicons.

(in reply to stella41b)
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