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When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/3/2009 11:09:42 PM   
breatheasone


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Status: offline 		This is not a very easily answered question for me. Anyone have any thoughts?

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/3/2009 11:29:41 PM   
cpK69


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< Message edited by cpK69 -- 5/4/2009 12:20:02 AM >

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/3/2009 11:35:23 PM   
SlaveBlutarsky


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Status: offline 		When you know you can look yourself in the mirror knowing that you did the right thing.

I'm a big fan of the mirror test. I've been raised to be a moral and just person, but my family was never religious, so we answer to each other and more importantly ourselves. My family may not agree with everything I do, but they know every morning I wake up and can look myself in the mirror.


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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/3/2009 11:40:29 PM   
tazzygirl


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Status: offline 		when the pain you inflict is more self sacrificing then beneficial to others

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/3/2009 11:44:40 PM   
ZenDragoness


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Status: offline 		If you are in a difficult moral situation, i would need to know who defines the right. Is it right by the standards of society, religion, your family values....? That would be my first question to myself.

And after i have an answer, i would ask myself by which standards is the wrong wrong.

This process would have cleared some ot the moral CrashClash.

In my experience we mostly know, if something is right or wrong in terms of our own internal moral system and
that is the system you will have to answer to in the long run. Let the dilemma (the decision you have to make) fall inside yourself and try to catch the stronger impulse, the stronger answer, the one that you can stand behind in time to come.

Good luck and a good decision.

Ruth

< Message edited by ZenDragoness -- 5/3/2009 11:47:41 PM >

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/3/2009 11:54:11 PM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ZenDragoness

If you are in a difficult moral situation, i would need to know who defines the right. Is it right by the standards of society, religion, your family values....? That would be my first question to myself.

And after i have an answer, i would ask myself by which standards is the wrong wrong.

This process would have cleared some ot the moral CrashClash.

In my experience we mostly know, if something is right or wrong in terms of our own internal moral system and
that is the system you will have to answer to in the long run. Let the dilemmy fall inside yourself and try to catch this gut feeling.

Good luck and a good decision.

Ruth

Ruth.... (BEAUTIFUL name btw) for instance, If you have an adult child who is (for lack of a better term) trouble. They always ask for money, food, etc.... So you stop giving the cash, but still give food regularly. Isn't this enabling the adult kid (lets say 20 something) to be irresponsible because they know they can always have a free meal? There are MANY other scenarios where doing the right thing may be wrong as well. This is just one that comes to mind.


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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 12:08:37 AM   
blackcat39


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Status: offline 		Often telling the absolute truth isn't helpful. So lying is doing the right thing. It reminds me of a military quote: Its on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know. Often people think they have a right to know, and its best to let them come to their own conclusions (often wrong). Are you lying when you don't set them straight? ;/

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 12:14:47 AM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: blackcat39

Often telling the absolute truth isn't helpful. So lying is doing the right thing. It reminds me of a military quote: Its on a need to know basis, and you don't need to know. Often people think they have a right to know, and its best to let them come to their own conclusions (often wrong). Are you lying when you don't set them straight? ;/

Nice reply, and hell yes... its called lie of omission(or by omission)

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 5/4/2009 12:15:15 AM >

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 12:20:20 AM   
ZenDragoness


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Status: offline 		Breatheasone (thank you, i always felt gifted with my name, i noticed your name and tried to decipher it, but all i came up with was breath a son and i think that is not meant:-), your example is answered in your text.

You know, that you keep the child dependable and you know, that the longer you do that, the harder it will be for your child to become an adult. I would give the child a timeline, kind of plan, where every week it has to expect less food. So there is a kind of slow change.

Because as a mother it would be my first responsibility to provide the child with the abilities to survive without me (after a certain age).


I understand what you your question means, but i stand by the process i described in the post above.

You can PM me, if you like to.


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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 1:21:53 AM   
Whenready


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Status: offline 		From a philosophical point of view, it's never wrong to do the right thing.

Unfortunately the right thing might be difficult. More than likely, you often don't know which of the options available is the right one until afterwards.

If you look at the matter and the options as thoroughly as you can then you are doing your best. For you, that will be the right thing. It may or may not be the right thing for any other involved. But you do pass the mirror test. Good luck!

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 1:23:04 AM   
Malkinius


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Greetings....

It is never wrong to do the right thing. However, sometimes there is more than one 'right thing' that you can do. Pay attention to what is both obviously the right thing and look for alternative 'right things' if you don't feel right about doing it.

Be well....

Malkinius



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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 1:37:23 AM   
DemonKia


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Of all the labels in the toolkit, 'right' & 'wrong' can be some of the least useful, being so big & broad & clumsy as to render them nearly useless in discussions of details & finicky minutiae -- that's my first opinion on the subject . . . . .

As to ethical conduct, I try to adhere to some variant on 'ahimsa', or 'an it harms none do as thou will', or similar, up to the place where my own boundaries are being impinged . . . . . & my feelings & intuitions can be critical in figuring how that all plays out . . .. .

My 'moral framework' is fleshed out by being as honest & communicative as is possible in the moment, to own responsibility for my part in whatever, & to recognize my limitations in whatever. I'm sure it's more complicated than that, but that's what comes to mind at the moment.

More important is the following posting I made to another thread, it might help you to flesh out your thinking:

'On The Problem of Being Too Nice' from the 'Are you too Dominant?' thread in the Mistresses forum.


Hope this helps, some . .. . .

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 1:48:21 AM   
breatheasone


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Status: offline 		Wow such thoughtful replies how cool is that? and the CM name Daddy and i picked is "Breathe-as-one"(i know its hard to read all mushed up like that)

i guess i mean to you personally.... is there ever a time when the "right" thing just feels like you are doing the wrong thing?


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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 2:04:08 AM   
HeavansKeeper


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

This is not a very easily answered question for me. Anyone have any thoughts?


By definition, if it's the "right thing to do" it cannot be wrong. If we sift and weigh all the measures, and reason our way to this solution, then it can't be wrong. It's right. But that could be the vulcan in me.

Steel has used, in previous threads, the expression "Captain Save A Ho". The more human side of me reads your question as "When does my dream of social justice no longer warrant itself?"

I suggest one's intent for social justice is no longer warranted when it either conflicts with the rights of others.

I have a right to make the world a better place. Among many other rights, I also have the right to speak in any public forum, listen to any public discussion, and respond to said statements (an application of the prior right). These are human rights. Included is the right to ignore others, one which often gets invoked when I get preachy in my public forums.

Unless you are interfering with their rights to life, liberty, property, or privacy, there is no limit to when it's "wrong." It may cause people to resent you, it may make them think you're a nosy twit... (They have the right to think so).

If you're concerned with "When will people think I'm a nosy twit for trying to help?" the answer varies. Some people get very defensive on the outset of any attempted aid. Others will never think less of you for trying. That's why I don't like people, they're so inconsistent about important things like what will set them off when people try to help.

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 2:53:03 AM   
Fitznicely


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Status: offline 		....When doing the right thing means the trial and imprisonment of a parent. Even though it lets a SERIOUSLY bad person (not THE parent, but A parent) carry on with their evil existence, ripping four families apart, including one's own, is too high a price to pay.

If it's not clear, I speak from experience. And it damn well sickens me that I can't do that right thing.

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 3:51:08 AM   
NorthernGent


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Status: offline 		When is it wrong to do the right thing?
 
The problem with wrong and right is that they're subjective; they're open to your personal bias. I think it's paramount that you don't get involved in anyone else's business, regardless of how 'right' you think you are; which I suppose is akin to saying: "it is often wrong to do what you think is the right thing".

An issue with human beings is that we're prone to fantasy and illusion, which manifests itself in many ways; one of these being that we struggle to accept that ideas are simply ideas, rather we latch onto ideas and claim them as absolute truths and a truth that we can stand behind in order to further meaning in our lives.

In addition, the idea that right and wrong is a false dichotomy, and that ideas are simply ideas, is very uncomfortable for many because it denies the certainty that many people crave.

< Message edited by NorthernGent -- 5/4/2009 3:52:21 AM >

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 3:51:49 AM   
Focus50


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Status: offline 		It's wrong, or at least foolish, to think doing the right thing will be appreciated by all...., or most, or many....
 
Focus.

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 4:00:32 AM   
NorthernGent


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

It's wrong, or at least foolish, to think doing the right thing will be appreciated by all...., or most, or many....
 
Focus.


Who acts as judge and jury on what is right? The person on the receiving end of this righteous action could quite well see things differently, and may come to the conclusion that the judge and jury are acting out of their own self-interest, their whims, their need for a cause, and an ego trip, through being seen to do the 'right' thing. I'm not so sure that it's a case of the 'right' thing not being appreciated; it's a more a case of people not appreciating someone else acting as judge and jury on what is 'right' for them. Unless of course you've consented.

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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 4:50:01 AM   
chamberqueen


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Status: offline 		What came to mind was the difference between following the letter of the law vs. the spirit of it.  I remember once seeing a friend walking on the side of the road I was driving down.  I knew that by law you were not supposed to cross the center line unless making a left turn or passing another car, yet I could see ahead that there were large puddles near him.  I knew he was a stickler for following the law and had to make a quick decision on whether to stay in my lane and splash him with what would have been a lot of water or to "break the law" by crossing the center line.  (Ok, because he was such a stickler I'll admit that I considered staying in the lane, LOL.)  I chose the cross the line to protect him.

Obviously that case was no big deal.  There are lifestyle situations where one has to make the same type of decision though.  Would it make a Master happier to follow the letter of the law they have laid down or its spirit?  There are times that you don't have the time to ask and need to make a quick decision.  Sometimes a task might go against your moral code to some extent and then what do you do?  What may seem "right" to a Master might seem slightly "wrong" to you so whichever alternative you choose can feel wrong somehow.  Then it becomes a matter for your conscience. 

My general philosophy is that it is never wrong to do right.  Using an above example, if that means that you have to draw the line with grown children to get them to mature on their own then what you have done isn't wrong at all but for their benefit.  The tricky part isn't in deciding to DO what is right, but in figuring out what it is.


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RE: When is it WRONG to do the RIGHT thing - 5/4/2009 4:52:05 AM   
CatdeMedici


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

This is not a very easily answered question for me. Anyone have any thoughts?

 
I don't think there is a pat answer to this one--I wrestled with some responses, then deleted them and started over--in the purest since, it should never be wrong to do what's right---but that means going against odds and accepting the consequences of people's reactions to your action, I have noticed that one can be filled with supporters at times, everyone agrees, then when one acts--the crowd has all disappeared--I'm not sure it is ever wrong to do the right thing, I just think there are times its more painful, isolating or dangerous than others.

< Message edited by CatdeMedici -- 5/4/2009 5:19:35 AM >

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