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ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub

Have you really been told this to your face....'you're not a true submissive?' - I think my first gut response would be 'obviously you're far from a true domme.' I'm truly starting to wonder if I just want some kink in the bedroom because I feel like a lot of this is just nonsense. I want to be open and I am for the most part, but I have a tough time if a domme comes off arrogant, controlling and domineering (which some in their profiles - heck even their pictures where they don't smile - sound that way). That just won't work for me ever. I have plenty to offer and if some woman, just because she's more dominant then I am, plays this game with me, I'll be gone quickly.

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ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

The one thing I hate is Dominatrix Toxemia. Someone once told me this is a recognized condition.
Symptoms of this are
They think they can dominate everyone including other dominants
They believe themselves to be God like creatures even when with vanilla friends (actually they tend not to have many friends)
They don't cope well with a difference of opinion and can become very vindictively verbal with anyone that questions them.
They believe in there own hype (too many people have told them they are beautiful and they believe it)

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Somebody should force you to clean the OJ from my screen now, LOL!

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ORIGINAL: frankieboy52

Dominas have annoying traits???You're kidding right??...actually,i am kidding..of course they have annoying traits and much more over the top i feel than some submissives.With that said,there are some lovely Dominas on here..if i had to pick one thing though it is not answering e-mails.admittedly,not all of my contact mailings have been Shakespearean,but they haven't been bad enough to warrant a non-response either.Whether i am looking for just friendship or i am petitioning,i take pride in what i write.So that's my biggest beef.

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ORIGINAL: CatdeMedici

 ( adores LAgirlsub's posts)

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ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

One thing I've noticed is that so many dommes seem to always want things their way.

It baffles me. I just can't relate to that.

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ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub
And I should ask any dommes reading this...Are you uncomfortable with an educated or strong sub who does take her own actions (such as stating her needs, desires and asking for them) instead of just waiting around for you to act? I am not challenging you for dominance by stating how I feel. I am not someone who is just going to think another person will just intuit my feelings/needs, esp. without even knowing me well. I can't believe this arrogance that I'm finding other then I think it's dommes who have their own self-esteem issues.

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ORIGINAL: slvemike4u

A question if I might...why would any inteligent sub/slave type ( no offence intended towards those who have previously responded)respond to this thread.Is there much opportunity to impress the Dom/Domme types with a list of their supposed flaws.
PoliteSub,in my mind took the only acceptable route...that of court jester to Domina Royalty(by the way Polite,stop stealing my act)Any other reply might just leave a bad taste in a beautiful Dommes mouth.....not the best way to attract others.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

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ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub
And I should ask any dommes reading this...Are you uncomfortable with an educated or strong sub who does take her own actions (such as stating her needs, desires and asking for them) instead of just waiting around for you to act? I am not challenging you for dominance by stating how I feel. I am not someone who is just going to think another person will just intuit my feelings/needs, esp. without even knowing me well. I can't believe this arrogance that I'm finding other then I think it's dommes who have their own self-esteem issues.

I'll take a crack at this.

I'm not intimidated at all by subs who happen to be educated to a higher level than Me.  Strength in a sub has a great appeal to Me. 

As for taking their own actions, or asking for what they want, I'm not opposed to this.  However, I will say two things.

1.  It has to be done in the right way.  If you come to Me and ask if you can make a request, in a respectful manner, I will listen.  Even if you come and ask if you can speak freely, I'll listen.  Being a brat or demanding what should be a request, won't get you far.

2.  Understand that I absolutely have the right to deny a request as the person with the authority in the dynamic.


You're on the right track knowing that a Dominant is not a mind reader.  This is true of any person who is intimate in another's life.  Yet, as a Dominant, part of My responsibility is to evaluate needs and wants.  Further, I have to access wants, and know where they lie on the scale as far as importance.  Some wants carry great significance and others are frivolous.  It may be true that you want something.  It also may be very true that what you want isn't in your best interest.

Oddly enough, the line between confidence and arrogance can be something of a tightrope.  The balance has to be just right.  One can not lean too hard either way, or they wobble and fall.  Only when both are brought to the center, is there stability.

I hope this has answered your questions.