The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (Full Version)

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LAgirlsub -> The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 12:10:32 AM)

So the Dommes/Mistresses have their list of what is annoying when subs/slaves approach them, what’s our list?

So far for me:
--I can’t get a domme to meet me for a cup of coffee so I can see her in person…and often she has already made demands of me in email, with her personal laundry list of what she wants/expects/demands of all her subs/slaves.
--pushes for online chat, wants to talk sexually but like above, won’t first meet casually in person even when local.
--wants to be called Mistress and begins to talk to you as if you have already agreed on this again when you haven’t even met in person yet.

That’s the start of my list/experiences so far. Also of course there are the fake ones or just the ones that disappear when you try to meet them in person.

So please everyone, I want to read your list…female and male subs…what are the top annoying traits or experiences you have online/in email with Mistresses. Thanks all.

And if someone wants to post their list on doms, feel free.



WyldHrt -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 1:15:55 AM)

From a het Femsub:
1. Male subs emailing me asking/ demanding to be dominated. Negative bonus points for referring to me as "Goddess" or "Mistress" [:'(]
2. The ever popular "On your knees, bitch", "I own you" or some such spewed by HNGs. Negative bonus points for cockshots [8|]
3. "I'm going to be in San Diego next week, let's meet" Ugh. Negative bonus points if they tell me what to wear while assuming I'm interested. [8D]
4. Generic one liners or form letters, esp combined with blank or nearly blank profiles. Negative bonus points for whiny follow ups when I don't respond [:-]
5. Married guys looking to cheat. Negative bonus points for thinking I won't find out in a hurry. [;)]



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 2:43:11 AM)

Wow. Thanks for including your list. Makes me think the ones I question are women actually might be because they don't sound like this. It's interesting that they sound very similar to the ones that approach the Mistresses.

Thanks for sharing and explaining that you're a het female sub.

What's an HNG by the way? And they really send cumshots? Don't they know they're talking to women?



KMsAngel -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 3:26:11 AM)

horny net geek



DemonKia -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 5:08:22 PM)

FR

I'm glad you posted this, OP.

So much of the complaint emphasis is, rightly or wrongly, about guys. (&, yeah, LAgirlsub, the word is that there's a very good chance that some of these ostensible 'women' are really guys trolling for wankerific material from, say, a hottie submissive lesbian . . . . [;)] )

& as a female (of whatever persuasion I am [8|] ) I'm interested in hearing 'critique', 'peer review' & etc in the interests of 'refining my marketing plan' . . ..

[:D]

I guess, if I had to make a complaint, I'm not much on all the hostility.

I read profiles, & even the occasional cmail, just dripping with barely repressed anger, malice, envy, or some other 'negative' emotional stuff, such that it's almost 'mentally toxic' . . .. .. &, of course, most of the clueless cmails & such are sorta passive-aggressively disruptive inasmuch as they don't read profiles & follow instructions; & that is a characteristic I value in those on both sides of the kneel / whip . .. .. .

I know lots of people get off on 'rebelling' to a greater or lesser degree, but there's some base level where we all have to follow some ground-level subset of rules. Some of the more absolute 'rules' that we have to follow would be ones like gravity or the 'laws of thermodynamics', even if we're not terribly aware that we're following them. &, sure, plenty of social laws are more pliable. But, for me, 'trust building' exists on fundaments. & one of those is respect for some basic (shared) set of rules, & thus respecting 'rules' in a general way has some resonance for me . .. . . Note, rebellion also has some resonance for me, too, so, as usual, it's the grey-ambivalent-murky ground that I'm staking out . .. . .

Okay. Back to your regularly scheduled replies to this thread. Thank you.



amoryblane -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 6:14:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LAgirlsub

So the Dommes/Mistresses have their list of what is annoying when subs/slaves approach them, what’s our list?

So far for me:
--I can’t get a domme to meet me for a cup of coffee so I can see her in person…and often she has already made demands of me in email, with her personal laundry list of what she wants/expects/demands of all her subs/slaves.
--pushes for online chat, wants to talk sexually but like above, won’t first meet casually in person even when local.
--wants to be called Mistress and begins to talk to you as if you have already agreed on this again when you haven’t even met in person yet.

That’s the start of my list/experiences so far. Also of course there are the fake ones or just the ones that disappear when you try to meet them in person.

So please everyone, I want to read your list…female and male subs…what are the top annoying traits or experiences you have online/in email with Mistresses. Thanks all.

And if someone wants to post their list on doms, feel free.


The only trait I find absolutely maddening, both here (though I haven't been here long) and out in the world is a dogmatic Domme.  When Nietzsche declared dogmatism dead, he'd obviously never been to a club or a play party.

If a conversation or an interaction isn't going well, my normal response is so shrug it off and then, as politely and quickly as possible, break it off.  If my interests are obviously wildly divergent from those of the person to whom I'm talking, and if we also aren't connecting on any kind of friendly level, that's honestly not a big deal.

Some people (and this is universal and cuts across all self-identified and self-imposed "types" and the only reason I am kvetching about it w/r/t "Dommes" is that the question happened to be about Dommes) won't let a difference of opinions drop and move on with their lives.  There are few things more awkward than trying to extricate myself from someone who insists on telling me, in agnoizing, technicolor detail, why everything I like is completely wrong.  Bonus points for pedantic pontifications on what the "true nature of the submissive" is.

The world is very big and life is very long and there are more things in heaven and on earth....the point is that it's totally cool to have completely incompatible interests, acknowledge this, and then move on.  Basically any response, from being curtly dismissed to being jeeringly mocked to being completely ignored seems sane and reasonable to me when two people just don't have anything to talk about, but the belligerence required to force an argument (with no intent of persuading, only berating) beggars belief.



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 8:11:45 PM)

Oh...thanks...horny not geek...can you be both? (I sort of write sheepishly...)



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 8:22:44 PM)

I like how you signed off...I'm smiling...

So really? So much anger? Again so foreign to me...why send some angry emails, posts, whatever if you want to connect with people? I could imagine if you get a lot like that it would be emotionally/mentally toxic, even depressing.

Hum. This is really enlightening to see how each of us are connecting to each other. I truly don't understand why it's acceptable to treat someone online any differently then you would in person. Why would you start out angry at someone you just met?

It does make me honestly kind of want to retch when I think of being some stupid wanker material. To me its just so disgusting - when it's lying about who you are and when you're clearly using someone else.

But the sub guys....why are they so angry? Is it societal? Or is it the fragile male ego? Not like I'd know anything about that really. But on a practical level, if they wanted to connect with a cool domme, you'd think they'd see beyond themselves and learn about/want to meet the woman they're attracted to. I do. That's the advice I'd tell them. The sexual stuff will come if there's a connection.



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 8:41:12 PM)

Have you really been told this to your face....'you're not a true submissive?' - I think my first gut response would be 'obviously you're far from a true domme.' I'm truly starting to wonder if I just want some kink in the bedroom because I feel like a lot of this is just nonsense. I want to be open and I am for the most part, but I have a tough time if a domme comes off arrogant, controlling and domineering (which some in their profiles - heck even their pictures where they don't smile - sound that way). That just won't work for me ever. I have plenty to offer and if some woman, just because she's more dominant then I am, plays this game with me, I'll be gone quickly.

Maybe I should throw out the question since I know it's been talked about with subs, but what about dommes and if they lack self-esteem (or have self-esteem issues)? Will they take it out on you? (their insecurities) - I guess that's not something that can easily be answered, but it just came to mind when thinking of a domme having the audacity to say you're not this or that...regarding being submissive. Maybe it's the part of me that has never liked bullies...I wouldn't want to see a domme who treated a sub in that way.




AlexandraLynch -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 10:30:19 PM)

LAgirlsub, I personally have said on numerous occasions, anyone can be an asshole. Anyone can be a bitch. The first person a dominant needs to be able to control, to cherish, and to take care of...is themself. I figure that I shouldn't need to have someone tell me their orientation in a lifestyle setting. Even with everyone in t-shirts and jeans, I should be able to tell the dominants by how they carry themselves and how they interact with everyone else.



ThatDamnedPanda -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 11:17:50 PM)

One thing I've noticed is that so many dommes seem to always want things their way.

It baffles me. I just can't relate to that.



LadyPact -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 11:49:26 PM)

Yeah.  OK.  Stick with that theory.  [sm=paddle.gif]



Lockit -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/4/2009 11:51:24 PM)

LOL... Panda is feeling better!



DemonKia -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 12:35:42 AM)

lol

Well, with reference to myself, I think of it as having 'power & control' issues . .. . . . (&, mind, in a descriptive sense far more than a judgemental one . ... )

I tend to think that lots of people have 'power & control' issues, but that some can drag them out & examine them & play with them . . . . . & some of those people are kinky . . . . Strictly my own little theory . . . . .

[:D]

&, Panda, some people like that about other people . . . . lol

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda

One thing I've noticed is that so many dommes seem to always want things their way.

It baffles me. I just can't relate to that.



LAgirlsub -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 4:50:25 AM)

Well, depending on my mood (really) you might not be able to tell if I'm submissive or dominant. I think mostly, I get protective of people who are struggling so if someone was submissive around me and had a hard time, you'd probably think I was more dominant.



allthatjaz -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 9:03:44 AM)

The one thing I hate is Dominatrix Toxemia. Someone once told me this is a recognized condition.
Symptoms of this are
They think they can dominate everyone including other dominants
They believe themselves to be God like creatures even when with vanilla friends (actually they tend not to have many friends)
They don't cope well with a difference of opinion and can become very vindictively verbal with anyone that questions them.
They believe in there own hype (too many people have told them they are beautiful and they believe it)



littleone35 -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 9:15:44 AM)

The thing i find most annoying is that just cause someone puts a Dom/me in from of their name does not mean they are one. Some think if that if they take that title it automatically makes them that title.

Matt's littleone



CatdeMedici -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 9:22:25 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

The thing i find most annoying is that just cause someone puts a Dom/me in from of their name does not mean they are one. Some think if that if they take that title it automatically makes them that title.

Matt's littleone


Well I DID try god, but someone told Me there was only one issued.[8|]



LaTigresse -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 10:47:31 AM)

You gotta create your own like I did.

GoddessQueenoftheFuckinUniverse!! Or some variation of such........[:D]



DVsFox -> RE: The sub/slave version of the ‘top 5 annoying Mistress traits’… (5/5/2009 1:15:25 PM)

Hmmm, My Top 7 annoying "Mistress" traits are the following:

1. Female supremacists.
2.  "You have cam slave?"
3.  "I am so wonderful and amazing and my slaves are so worthless.  Give me money!"
4. A -large- number of Mistresses complain about how "fake" male subs don't read their profiles and then they send me messages asking me if I'd like to be owned. (I love being owned, but only by my Owner, duh)
5.  They think -all- slaves should be submissive to them.  Well, newsflash, I am submissive to my Owner and everybody else gets to treat me like an equal.  Just because you take yourself super-seriously doesn't mean I will.
6. I also hate Mistresses who send annoying, obviously copied and pasted form letters basically begging for service and/or money.
7. Female supremacists.

Basically, anybody who's an upstanding human being isn't included within this list.

DV's Fox



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