RE: confused (sorry it is so long)

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: confused (sorry it is so long)

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: confused (sorry it is so long)

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: confused (sorry it is so long) - 5/4/2009 1:15:08 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

For me (And, I am speaking only for me), the person I care about is far more important than a rigid role. Now, certainly if someone deviates too far from their place in my life or I in theirs, that stands to cause/create problems but overall, if I want to be with someone, I am going to be pretty flexible.
I am going to guess that there are more issues here than just the roles.
Best wishes,
Davan

i really understand this. Daddy and i have come to a place where if everything else fell away....We would just be left with how much we love each other...and that ain't too bad!

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to DavanKael)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: confused (sorry it is so long) - 5/4/2009 10:19:23 PM

heartbroken84

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/27/2009
Status: offline

Did she tell you upfront that she was a switch?
Because you must realize that she has as much right to get her submissive needs met as her dominant needs

No she never spoke to me in the 13 months we were together about being a switch. i realize everyone changes. I really think that if she would of spoke to me before and told me how she felt and her intentions instead of hiding them from me things would be different.

Her relationship with him is entirely different than her relationship with you. Does she want to maintain both relationships now?

No she does not. She chose to throw away the love we have for each other not just a Mistress/slave love but a love as a couple to become his lil slave. What we had and what we shared together was beautiful it was alot more to our relationship then a D/S one. Though it was online most of the time we frequently visit each other. But now she choses to take him over me.

I Thank You for Your advice it was very helpful. I am stepping back from this lifestyle and taking time for me. Time to heal from the hurt and the anger that I have bottled up inside and to find what and who I am and what I need and want. I need to take care of myself and try to move on from this. it is hard to lose someone you love and care about. and i am guess that with each day it will get easier. I thank you again for responding and your advice and caring.
chassidy

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: confused (sorry it is so long) - 5/4/2009 10:24:24 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I wish you the very best! A time out is a good idea, but keep in touch with people, you would be surprised how much even strangers can mean to you during a painful time. Hell, just sit back and watch some of the funny haha's around here! Find a way to laugh even if you are crying a moment later... just keep on moving on and live true to who you find in yourself! Hang in there!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to heartbroken84)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: confused (sorry it is so long) - 5/4/2009 10:44:07 PM

heartbroken84

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/27/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

im so sorry youre in this awful place right now.

Thank You. It is awful but i now have calmed down though i still have alot of anger and hurt inside me. I know i will for awhile. She has hurt me badly. the only thing I am guitly of is loving her. maybe the biggest mistake of my life is letting her into my heart. maybe i am better off alone that way the hurt will never be there again.

you need to step back if you can and find a breathing space to think and feel more clearly.

you cant fight for her, in the end it is her life and you cant make her be youre misstress lol. thats never going to work is it.

I am not gonna fight for her. i know it is a losing battle, and to me She is not worth fighting for. I can't make her love me or be with me. she chose to run off and be a slave to another i have to accept that. and i am coming to terms with it. i just cant understand why she would chose a man that is a limp dick. out of all the men in the world she had to chose one that cant get it up. i know sex is not the whole relationship but when you love someone as she says she loves him sex is a part of it. and there is no way he can meet her needs, wants or desires in that part with a limp dick. Yes I know i sound cruel but i speak the truth.
i feel for you i really do. but if you do love her that much then you do want to see her happy.

Yes I want to see her happy. that is all i wanted for her out of our relationship. I have told her over and over that all i want is her to be happy. but I cant see her being happy with this so called Master.

if it was me i would let her go. its hard and unfair and all of that, but you have no other choice the way i see it.

I have let her go. it is now time for me to sit back and heal from this hurt and look deep inside myself and figure out what i want and need in my life, i wish her happiness i really do but truhtfully i don't forsee her being happy. i will not be there to pick up the peices when she get hurts. as much as i love her i just cant do it. and in my opinion if she gets hurt she deserves the hurt a million times worst then she hurt me.

chassidy

xx

(in reply to lally2)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: confused (sorry it is so long) - 5/4/2009 10:47:32 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I understand wanting to step back. I've done that before Myself in the past. While I would say that it worked out for Me, I wouldn't recommend it for everyone.

What you've written here, OP, does convey the anger and resentment that you are feeling right now. I'm not saying that's wrong, or bad, or any of the other words that people tend to automatically link to those emotions. It's obvious that you're hurt and those other secondary emotions often come from that primary emotion. You are still in a bit of shock, even though you were told she was going through Domme burnout. The two of you were obviously seeing the interaction differently.

It's ok to take a little time and lick your wounds. Most people, regardless of role, need a little recovery time.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Lockit)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: confused (sorry it is so long) - 5/5/2009 3:52:27 AM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

The time has come to allow people to make there own choices, especially as this happens to be your Mistress. She obviously wants to switch and that is Her free choice.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 26