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RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 9:45:12 AM

subtlebutterfly

Posts: 2230
Joined: 6/15/2008
From: Not your hood
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omg smell of horses....................yummieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can I hump you????? like ..right now????? do ya smell like it now do ya do ya do youuu?
I think I gotta horse-smell fetish!

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Post #: 41

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 9:59:06 AM

ThatDamnedPanda

Posts: 6060
Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Story -

You meet a person online, maybe from our dear ole' CM. You agree to meet in a public place, things go well, and you both agree to meet again. After a few 'dates' you both feel comfortable enough to visit each others homes. You go over to theirs one night, maybe for dinner and a movie, but when you walk through the door BAM. Trash everywhere. You may or may not smell questionable cat substances and the couch isn't something you'd like to sit on without a rubber sheet.

What would you do?

How important is it to you that someone you're interested in has a clean house? Could you overlook clutter? What about trash but without the stink? What sort of 'limits' do you have on the way a person keeps his or her house?

Clutter? Sure. Everybody falls behind sometimes. I try to dust and vaccuum every week, but it doesn't always work out. Stuff comes up. But the groceries are put away before I hang my coat in the closet, the trash goes out 2 or 3 times a week, and I can't remember how many years it's been since I've gone to bed and left a dirty dish in the sink. There are some things you just don't let slide, no matter what.

Trash? No way. Aside from the asthetics, that tells me our fundamental values are too far apart for us to be compatible. Self-respect, self-discipline, an organized mind, and a life that reflects these qualities - these are what I look for in a partner. I could never live that way, so how could i live with someone who does?

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In the forest of the night
What immortal hand or eye
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(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 42

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 10:01:28 AM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

I think a part of why I like my house relatively clean and organized is a part control-freak. There are so many things I feel I cannot control so if I clean my house it is like a band-aid to keep all the crazy stuff looking nice. If my house is a mess and I am feeling upset about whatever it exacerbates my hairy feelings. When my house looks organized and clean it gives me some peace.

I would loathe to be with someone who didnt care about picking up after themselves or left food out and that sort of thing.

I cant stand people who think they are better than others either. You know they pepper their vocabulary with words that sort of exude, "I am distinguished, superior, blah blah." I find that sort of position a real drag too.

I grew up poor, very poor and it sucked ass but what can you do? I never thought I was white. In fact I thought I was yellow. No one ever called me that or even said it to me. I figured it out myself. White people lived in single dwelling homes which our lone apartment building was surrounded by. They didnt wear their brothers old winter coat.

My mom was not a slob but she was not as anal as I seem to be. I loathe squalor. I suppose there are way too many people on the planet who really dont have an option and this infuriates me, feels unjust and unfair. You know third world realities.

There is a sort of squalor of the mind that drives me crazy. This is the sort where, let's say the guy can afford a maid and he does employ one but in his life he is a liar and a cheat. I would take a guy who is domestically challenged over this sort of dickwad any day.

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Post #: 43

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 10:15:30 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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It really does depend, not dusted or not vacuumed and a bit of clutter? So what?

I'm seriously a bit of a disaster area and my office is organized chaos, stacks of paper, stacks of books, the transport services from most major airports, I often fall behind with the washing because there are weeks where I come home, unpack, pack and head off again after a day, while I still try to adjust to different time zones.

Additionally I have pets, they are house trained and people who look after them if I am gone, but cats and pet rats tend to be sneaky buggers, the cats will find a slipper or a shoe somewhere and drag it all over the house, they love the toilet paper rolls and often "attack it" with the result that the bath looks like somebody threw confetti all over the bathroom. If the care person forgets to padlock the doors to the rat cage, they will manage to jump on the desk and steal everything that is remotely shiny or possibly could be edible (erasers are favs) and drag that into their cage. So yes, my house is not always spotless and clean, but I live there, it's not a museum that I keep to impress people.

I think there is a HUGE difference between a bit of a mess and clutter and being unhygienic, stink, rotten food, a dirty kitchen or a dirty bathroom, unwashed clothes strewn around (it's not THAT difficult to use a laundry basket) those are things that really gross me out, but clean clothes thrown over a sofa, a chair etc. doesn't phase me much. I can deal with mess, I can't deal with dirt.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to heartcream)

Post #: 44

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 10:47:43 AM

camille65

Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline

When I lived in my house it was messy. It was too big for me to take care of by myself and I had a dog and cat then. Not until I put it on the market was it fully cleaned and that took a couple of months. I hated living in that mess. It was depressing and exhausting.

Now that I'm relegated to a whopping 743sq feet the only mess is my kitchen table which is covered with paperwork. Even though I am sorely pressed for space I am happier because it is so much easier to keep up.

I am fine in messy homes but not so fine in dirty ones. There is definitely a difference. If there are extenuating circumstances then I understand, but if it is because they just don't care then it will indeed make a difference in how I see them.

Taking care of your living quarters (to me) is a direct reflection on how a person views life. If someone is lacking that much respect for themselves then I've learned the hard way that it is unlikely they will respect me.

I am willing to help them though. Sometimes people need initial help in cleaning and organizing, once that is done it is so much easier to keep up. It is the 'keeping up' that is important to me.

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Post #: 45

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 10:51:45 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: subtlebutterfly

omg smell of horses....................yummieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee can I hump you????? like ..right now????? do ya smell like it now do ya do ya do youuu?
I think I gotta horse-smell fetish!

Uhmmm, no. Right now it's more of a perfume, soap, me type, smell. For the horse thang......catch me in about 7 hours.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to subtlebutterfly)

Post #: 46

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 11:40:28 AM

Jeptha

Posts: 780
Joined: 9/18/2008
From: Portland, Oregon
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

quote:

ORIGINAL: MarcEsadrian

...Environment is important to me. The surroundings we choose to keep not only reflects but influences state of mind, or so I personally believe. For this reason I can't help but question the sanity of someone who willingly lives in even mild squalor. For me, those who think little of the need to keep a clean home inevitably fall under the mantle of lazy, disorganized, tasteless and disappointingly stupid....

...The inside of my car is normally full of hay and horse tack and I love it that way. I love the smell and the fact that its a working vehicle that is there to do more than just impress the neighbors ...

I like the idea of the car as a working tool, rather than as an empty trophy/display of one's financial power. So , you can go the other way with that environmental symbolism, the other end of the spectrum being sterility and conformity.

Personally, I have a semi-white trash aesthetic. I love trailers and campers, and almost always have one in the driveway. And yes - the current one is covered with the obligatory tarp until I can build some sort of little carport for it. Because those things are almost never water tight, even after smearing tubes of caulk on them.

I sometimes refer to my place as "lil appelachia", but I do try and make sure things are clean, at least.

And I pull the nails out of my wood before I stack it on the lumber rack.

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Post #: 47

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 11:40:58 AM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

I keep my home clean but at the same time I don't give a donkey's toss if people try to judge me on my taste.
The inside of my car is normally full of hay and horse tack and I love it that way. I love the smell and the fact that its a working vehicle that is there to do more than just impress the neighbors
My home does not have cream painted walls and habitat furniture but full of my own art work and very bohemian. As far as squirting perfumes round my house, I can't think of anything worse. Why have we been trained that anything that smells natural stinks and anything that is artificial is nice?
I hate this 'class act' what the hell is it anyway?

Did I trip over someone's button?

But seriously, what's there not to love about horses and a house decorated in one's own art? Goodness. The crux was that class isn't an act.

(in reply to allthatjaz)

Post #: 48

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 11:54:42 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Great! I'm scrubbing the house within an inch of it's life (with breaks for CM in between, of course

) for MP returning home tomorrow. Here you guys are talking about filth, and not the good kind.

Oh well. Just more motivation for Me.

LOL.

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(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 49

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:00:04 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Cleanliness is somewhat important to me, not top priority since I myself live in a pigstye, but I'd want to know that should we ever move intogether, they had the skills and good habbits to at the very least maintain our inviroment, and not completely trash it with combined slovenlyness. It may or may not be a deal breaker depending on how much I liked the person and how much we hit it off and our chemistry and compatibility.

If their house stunk real bad and was unpleasant to be in I would politely but firmly offer to pitch in and help clean up a time or two, Who knows maybe they just went through something where cleaning was near impossible, or maybe the mess just got away from them and they can't handle it and then if they couldn't keep it clean or refused to keep it clean, well then I would refuse to come over.

There's a dom I know in real life, he did that with his girl, one time she got lazy about picking up the cat shit on the deck of her apartment and cleaning the litter box, and it really stunk and was horrible and he refused to visit her at her place any more until she cleaned up.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Story -

You meet a person online, maybe from our dear ole' CM. You agree to meet in a public place, things go well, and you both agree to meet again. After a few 'dates' you both feel comfortable enough to visit each others homes. You go over to theirs one night, maybe for dinner and a movie, but when you walk through the door BAM. Trash everywhere. You may or may not smell questionable cat substances and the couch isn't something you'd like to sit on without a rubber sheet.

What would you do?

How important is it to you that someone you're interested in has a clean house? Could you overlook clutter? What about trash but without the stink? What sort of 'limits' do you have on the way a person keeps his or her house?

I met someone like this from a local group. We're still friends (good friends actually) but he knows I refuse to visit his apartment. He has since learned to clean up after himself, but until he moves somewhere where cat isn't permeated into the carpet, I'm keeping it to public venues (not to mention we live in different states now).

note - this is brought up after seeing a picture on the main page of a submissive male with trash piled up behind him and what looks to be a pile of dirty white underwear.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 50

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:03:29 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Okay, okay, I went to bed with a coffee cup left in the sink! Bad dom!

I own a large parrot. My room is a zone of grey bird dust, which is something like having the whole space lightly dusted in confectioner's sugar. Cleaning up after a bird is a war of attrition. Otherwise, the place is clean. Stuff is picked up. There is clutter, like piles of magazines by the couch, but we do LIVE here, after all.

I have known some folks who lived in absolute squalor, and I fought a losing battle with the monster to clean the fuck UP, to the point of spending cleaning sessions. I know that you can't change an Oscar Madison, you just have to know not to live with one.

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Post #: 51

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:05:36 PM

InTonguesslut

Posts: 401
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline

quote:

What would you do?

I'd leave. If they asked why i was leaving i'd tell them.

quote:

How important is it to you that someone you're interested in has a clean house?

Clean, pretty important. Tidy all the time, not so much.

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(in reply to SomethingCatchy)

Post #: 52

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:06:09 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

When Daddy first got his own place it was a little trailer park and it was really lovely and nice, not trashy at all. Well he kept the dog outside a lot, and one of our neighbors was always feeding her stuff, And we were ok with it, because there was no harm in the little tidbits he was giving her.

One time he thought it was ok to throw her a huge rancid piece of chicken to eat, and thank god she was inside when he did it. The chicken stunk REALLY bad, I opend the trailer door at this stink immediatly just hit my nose, I don't see how any one could of thought it was fit for a dog to eat. We finally told him after that please do not feed our dog anything at all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LyraLaLaurie

Very very hard limit...after living with someone who left raw chicken out for days and thought it was normal....welllll, no one deserves an experience like that!

(in reply to LyraLaLaurie)

Post #: 53

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:11:30 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

If it's a one time thing or just an emergncy people will usualy be like oh excuse the mess such and such just happend. It's usually really easy to tell when people had something come up and a mess is rare, or a mess is an everyday factor. I think at least

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Don't judge a person too quickly, though, there are exceptions....

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 54

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:12:35 PM

blackcat39

Posts: 62
Joined: 8/7/2008
Status: offline

I think people should be concerned with cleanliness. Call me a germaphobe but bugs bug me.....

If a person isn't concerned with their own health, they aren't going to be concerned with yours either......

Trash & uneaten food should be dealt with constantly as these are the primary reasons why bugs would infest a place.....

Unwashed clothes and vacuuming/dusting is not as important as long as there are no bugs.......

Constantly cleaning (putting dust in the air and other polutants) can be just as unhealthy as painting and other renovations. As long as their are no bugs and people generally keep clean (bath reguarly etc); people shouldn't be overly concerned with cleanliness either, since this is also unhealthy (constantly putting dust in the air).........

A certain amount of dirt is actually healthy......it improves your immune system strangely enough......clean freaks are more susceptable to diseases....

(in reply to MarcEsadrian)

Post #: 55

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:17:58 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Sure it can. I probably shouldn't admit that I am slovenly and lazy cause I wish to be, but I will.

I'm not mentally ill and my room has always been an utter pigstye. Ever since I was a child. My parents always had a huge fight on their hands to get me to clean my room or pick up my toys. Sometimes it went to such extremes that my dad grabbed a wheel borrow and a sack and started shoveling my belongings out of my room.

I am lazy. I just don't have the motivation or the inclination to keep things picked up and stay on top of things. Now sometimes it has been a case of my stuff overwhelming the small space and I had no where to go with my stuff, so it's all over every free surface and over flowing the room, but largely I am just a messy person and i could help it if I chose to, and sometimes I do get tired of living in a mess, and try to do better but fall back into the pattern cause I don't have that habbit, or the fondation of the habbit to deal with mess and clutter.

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i feel that its got to be a mental illness kind of thing that a person can't help.... It can't be JUST laziness.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 56

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 12:31:17 PM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

There was one women on how clean is your house, she had 10 or more birds and they were never caged, and oh my god, they shit on everything, and every spare inch of her house where the birds regularly were, was covered in shit and dust and feathers, and the birds would attack guests who walked in. WEll she was also a slob and so that with birdie droppings and piss everywhere and the place was disgusting, and the clenaing team came in and cleaned it all up and talked to her about her birds being caged more often, and after days and days of hard work and cleaning the minute they left she turnd her birds loose on the room again lol.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I own a large parrot. My room is a zone of grey bird dust, which is something like having the whole space lightly dusted in confectioner's sugar. Cleaning up after a bird is a war of attrition.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 57

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 1:05:52 PM

janiebelle

Posts: 332
Joined: 4/29/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YourhandMyAss

There was one women on how clean is your house, she had 10 or more birds and they were never caged, and oh my god, they shit on everything, and every spare inch of her house where the birds regularly were, was covered in shit and dust and feathers, and the birds would attack guests who walked in. WEll she was also a slob and so that with birdie droppings and piss everywhere and the place was disgusting, and the clenaing team came in and cleaned it all up and talked to her about her birds being caged more often, and after days and days of hard work and cleaning the minute they left she turnd her birds loose on the room again lol.

Ok, one parrot, one room, I guess that's just a personal choice- but this is incomprehensible to me. I live in a house with 4 large dogs (150+ lbs each) and cannot handle the house being a mess; and I certainly couldn't blame the mess on the dogs. I sweep twice daily, I have nothing but hardwood floors because of hair, drool, etc. Only the fully trained dogs are left unattended in the house; if they aren't reliable with trash cans, want to shred magazines, chew furniture, etc. they are crated or put out in the kennel if I can't be with them. I'm constantly brushing, bathing, wiping paws, and following around with a drool rag after they drink.
I can't see having any sense of order in my life with chaos in my home.
I can clean up sooner rather than later, and not have it "hanging over my head".
I get a sense of calm knowing that the bed is made, the house it tidy, dinner is ready, and chores are done before I settle in for the evening.
Clutter, let alone filth, is disquieting to me, and I would have a hard time getting along with a person who operated in a radically different way.
j

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)

Post #: 58

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 1:18:15 PM

beltainefaerie

Posts: 610
Joined: 4/15/2006
Status: offline

I think there are several levels of messy/dirty households. My house is far from immaculate, however, nothing is smelly or filthy. Cluttered, however, is how I was raised. There will be piles of papers awaiting filing. There will be a few dishes to do. There will not be smelly pets and there will not be food left out getting icky. If someone was a neat freak, they likely wouldn't choose me. My best friend is a terrible housekeeper and I have on more than one occasion cleaned while we were chatting, because I don't know how she can stand it! I would not get involved with someone messier than I am and I do try to keep my clutter down to a dull roar.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 59

RE: Trashiness? - 5/5/2009 2:07:17 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

Not much i hear on here surprises me...AT ALL.

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Post #: 60

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