RE: namecalling slaves?

RE: namecalling slaves? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master

Message

Arpig -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 12:33:15 AM)
OK, seems everybody has focused on the wrong word. It wasn't the issue of "respect" that had me confused, it was the "demanding" I was trying to clarify. It seems to me that if one is a "slave" then one has pretty much given up the right to demand anything. Mayhaps I am wrong, maybe "slave" is just a cool sounding title, like Sir or Master, or Goddess.

GYPZYQUEEN -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 5:46:41 AM)
ALL HUMAN BEINGS(slaves) HAVE A RIGHT TO RESPECT if respectful....diligent..obediant etc A slave has given their "rights" to the Master who then assumes responsibilty* for ownership..what is best for their lives...* This is a big responsibility especially for those who have RESPECT for others.... A slave does not demand* respect...most assume as a human..* they are not shit...but the owner understands the Ds dynamic.. and they will earn that respect from M. IF there is an understanding of being treated as a barn animal..bad pet..or extreme degrading dynamic needed etc then this is usually understood BEFORE the relationship building and still within it is a respect for what has been discussed. I find assumptions that a human cannot expect respect very frightening and abusive... GQ

Drakontos -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 5:50:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig OK, seems everybody has focused on the wrong word. It wasn't the issue of "respect" that had me confused, it was the "demanding" I was trying to clarify. It seems to me that if one is a "slave" then one has pretty much given up the right to demand anything. Mayhaps I am wrong, maybe "slave" is just a cool sounding title, like Sir or Master, or Goddess. zaphira would agree with this; that as a slave, she has no right to demand anything from Master. She would also say that as a human being, she has no right to demand respect from anyone. In this slave's eyes, respect is earned through her actions and her words.

CallaFirestormBW -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 6:14:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: monaslave Im also talking about words like fat,ugly etc-that kinds To me, that depends on whether or not humiliation is an agreed-upon part of the dynamic both parties have chosen. See, I wouldn't be willing or able to use derogatory terminology on someone in service to me. I have actually had servants move on from service to me because that was something they felt they -wanted-, even -needed-, and it isn't something I am capable of. The question isn't "can this happen"... the question is "should this be happening in a relationship where it is not an agreed-upon part of the dynamic". The answer to the first question is "yes, it can". The answer to the second question is "no, it shouldn't". The unspoken corollary to the second question, though, is "if this is -not- an agreed-upon part of the relationship, what will I do about it?" If the answer to -that- is "walk away", then you have discovered the most effective means for ending an inappropriate or damaging relationship. If the answer is "discuss this with the offending party", then you are moving towards reaching an understanding, whether or not the other person actually responds to the communication. If you do not speak up (respectfully, of course) then any existing ignorance cannot possibley be resolved. On the other hand, if the answer to "what am I going to do about it?" is "Nothing.", then the most important issue is not whether it -can- happen, or even whether it -is- happening, but understanding why the person is accepting something xhe didn't agree to, and figuring out what xhe is getting out of the relationship to cause the relationship, despite its inappropriate expression by hir previous standard (regardless of any standard external to the dynamic), to be more valuable to hir than hir boundaries on this issue, and then recognizing that the issue is now a non-issue for hir, at least in this place and time and learning to let go of all previous expectations on the issue, in order to accept and embrace what xhe is becoming now, as a person, and to reduce the emotional dissonance that will not allow hir to recognize hir own choice to realign hir limits/boundaries with what is -truly- satisfying hir on some level. Two of the greatest dis-services we do for ourselves as humans on -either- side of the kneel is, first, our tendency to accept things externally that create dissonance internally without taking the time to understand -why- we are accepting the apparently intolerable, and second, our apparent incapacity or unwillingness to recognize when our own boundaries have changed so much that our external expression of managing those boundaries is no longer applicable. Because of this, we leave ourselves with unfulfillable expectations both for ourselves and for those with whom we interact. Know Thyself and act accordingly. Dame Calla

DesFIP -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 6:45:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Goddess2002 Just curious...but what about the premise that a slave has no choice? I can see a Dom/sub negotiation, but a Master/slave? I know of a Dom who accepts no negotiation and if the slave under consideration expresses ANY limits they are dismissed. Sounds harsh to me, but is it actually realistic when talking about slavery? Not unless he only takes short term young slaves. Because anybody else will occasionally develop a problem. So what happens if she gets a sinus infection and can't give him a blow job for ten days until she can breathe through her nose? He throws her out because she suddenly has a limit?

leadership527 -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 8:15:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig I am inclined to agree with Goddess2002. I thought the point of being a slave was to surrender all rights, etc., much like zaphira has. There seems to me to be an awful lot of people self identifying as slaves, and yet demanding to be treated with respect, which seems somewhat confusing to me We all have our own definitions of what the term 'slave' means. Mine does not include being willing to be subject to emotional abuse and/or other truly harmful behavior. I call that 'stupid'. My expectation of my wife is that she obeys me... all the time... unless I have become stupid (see above). By that measure, I call her slave. Both of our expecations of ourselves is that we treat our chosen life partners in a caring and nurting way. your mileage may may vary of course. And no, it is not my (and I'm guessing Drakontos') decision to treat the girl with respect. It is a mandatory part of the proper care and feeding of the woman I love. I would pray that if I stopped doing so, she'd first take off the collar and, if I persisted, take off the wedding ring. The model that I use goes like this... needs/Needs/Wants/wants Her needs are at the top of the priority tree... and one of those is to be treated with dignity and respect. If I fail to meet her needs, the relationship ends. If that isn't your idea of Master/slave, I'm perfectly fine with that. And yes, Carol demands things of me. She doesn't do it overtly. But as I said, I am very clear that since this is CONSENSUAL slavery, she may stop consenting if I start being an ass. Although honestly, the thought that I am being 'forced' to care about the woman I love, adore and respect is rather amusing. Kind of like when I command her to kiss me laughs. She's not exactly being forced. Just as with any other possession, failure to take care of it results in losing it.

leadership527 -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 8:19:45 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Goddess2002 Just curious...but what about the premise that a slave has no choice? I can see a Dom/sub negotiation, but a Master/slave? I know of a Dom who accepts no negotiation and if the slave under consideration expresses ANY limits they are dismissed. Sounds harsh to me, but is it actually realistic when talking about slavery? Well, for starters, the slave always has one choice, at least here in the US where actual slavery is illegal. The slave can decide they are no longer your slave. Other than that, I accept no limits from Carol. She wants to be my slave, not my sub. So by that definition, I do not allow her to say 'no'. I would 'dismiss' her if she did although you need to understand that for us, all that means is she'd revert to being my wife and then we'd sit down and discuss what how the next iteration of our marriage will look. Honestly though, for us at least, those kind of scenarios just aren't going to come up. I'd bet a lot of money that if we are not practicing M/s a decade from now, it won't be because of some limits issue... it'll be because one or both of us decided it no longer fit.

LafayetteLady -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 8:36:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Goddess2002 Just curious...but what about the premise that a slave has no choice? I can see a Dom/sub negotiation, but a Master/slave? I know of a Dom who accepts no negotiation and if the slave under consideration expresses ANY limits they are dismissed. Sounds harsh to me, but is it actually realistic when talking about slavery? Honestly, I would have to say that it is only realistic if you are unable to consider that we are still dealing with human beings. Quite honestly, besides the fact that I abhor the whole "under consideration" concept, that is the time to determine whether or not two people are compatible. While I don't identify as a slave, the fact is that this is still a person who is looking for the person THEY WILL CHOOSE to serve. The way you describe this "dom" makes him sound like an arrogant creep. It is far more dignified for someone to say, "I'm sorry that you are uncomfortable with "x", it is very important to me, so I guess we just aren't compatible, good luck." Taking the attitude of "I really have no desire to know who you are and what your thoughts are to find out if we are a good match" to mean says go buy a blow up doll. When someone starts in such early stages telling me that my thought processes and feelings are completely irrelevant, they find that the irrelevant part of the situation is them. I don't deal with arrogance.

dreamerdreaming -> RE: namecalling slaves? (5/22/2009 9:41:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: monaslave Can a Master(or Mistresses) call their slave for dumb,or other nasty words as humiliation on a ongoing basis? wouldnt that become something negative? Im talking about ltr 24/7 especially and Im not talking about as in play. Can anything good come out of that? Can you be excused with "I have all the right to call you whatever I like"? Have you crossed the thin line to abuse? If it works for you, choose a partner who does that. If not, don't. From your OP: sounds like its not working for you. So, if you already chose him, you can make a better choice. One that works for you. Dump him. The guy doesn't seem like a "master" to me. Seems like an immature asshole. Next time make a better choice. Did you mean to choose an immature asshole for your "master"? I don't think so. So be very careful. Before you go choosing your next "master", turn on your jerk detector. Then take some time for yourself, to pump up your self-esteem so that you are sure that you deserve someone who will treat you well. Then choose a partner who values you, and will pay attention to your needs and desires. And who shows it by his actions- including speech.

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.0625