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namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:21:47 PM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		Can a Master(or Mistresses) call their slave for dumb,or other nasty words as humiliation on a ongoing basis? wouldnt that become something negative? Im talking about ltr 24/7 especially and Im not talking about as in play.
Can anything good come out of that? Can you be excused with "I have all the right to call you whatever I like"?
Have you crossed the thin line to abuse?
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:23:05 PM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		Im also talking about words like fat,ugly etc-that kinds

(in reply to monaslave)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:32:34 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		A Master or a Mistress can do darn near anything they want with their slave. 

But I'd love for a slave to do chores around the house, cook and clean, serve sexually, and play with me.

Someone who would take a possession and use it like that is like someone who buys a brand new top of the line computer and uses it to play Solitaire. 

NOTE:  A slave has the responsibility to see if his or her situation will fit before accepting a collar.  If you think that your service will consist of being called names by some immature twerp calling himself a Master, I'd start looking if I were you.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to monaslave)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:36:31 PM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline 		One persons abuse is another persons turn on.

I personally don't use "abusive" words, as I wasn't brought up to them, much like I am softly spoken and get my point across without yelling or shouting.

It all depends on the relationship and the individuals in that relationship. What is considered abusive/normal vocabulary for THEM.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:50:03 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		It depends. For some, verbal humiliation in the form of insults is "hot", for others it's really not.
Personally, I don't "do" that type of humiliation play and would be completely uninterested in a D type who got off on calling me derogatory names. Nothing wrong with it IF it brings pleasure to both, but if the s type winds up feeling crappy about him/herself or depressed as a result, they are probably not a match for a D who enjoys such things.


_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:51:49 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Can a Master(or Mistresses) call their slave for dumb,or other nasty words as humiliation on a ongoing basis? wouldnt that become something negative? Im talking about ltr 24/7 especially and Im not talking about as in play.
Can anything good come out of that? Can you be excused with "I have all the right to call you whatever I like"?
Have you crossed the thin line to abuse?


It's unclear whether or not you are merely asking a question about how things might generally work or whether you find yourself in this situation and are being told that "this is the way it is, so get used to it".

There really isn't "general" to much.  You will notice a lot of "your kink isn't my kink" kind of talk.  If you are finding yourself in this situation and you don't like it, don't put up with it.  You are free to leave, end the relationship, have a discussion about what is going on and see if things will change.  Honestly, anyone who is doing that and knows it is being hurtful but using BDSM as an excuse is someone that will do worse in the long run.  Was there a discussion on this beforehand? 

Bottom line, if it ain't floating your boat, jump ship. 

(in reply to monaslave)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 9:52:08 PM   
hopeful68


Posts: 77
Joined: 9/16/2008
Status: offline 		I do not like being called names on a every day/hour/minute basis.  I think that is abusive.  I am a person to be respected and admired.  I am smart and funny, and strong.  It is through my strength that I give my submission to another.  It is through respect that they earn my submission.  This is not a free for all abuse fest (or at least shouldnt be).  The two parties must agree on the behaviors set forth.  If one person likes to be called names then they need to find a compatable counterpart.  If they do not like that, then just the opposite.  It is possible to like the names while 'playing' or 'sceneing'.. but quite acceptable to be address with respect the rest of time. 

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 10:08:49 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Can a Master(or Mistresses) call their slave for dumb,or other nasty words as humiliation on a ongoing basis? wouldnt that become something negative? Im talking about ltr 24/7 especially and Im not talking about as in play.
Can anything good come out of that? Can you be excused with "I have all the right to call you whatever I like"?
Have you crossed the thin line to abuse?

If it feels like its abuse to you....then it IS abuse... and you should surely talk to your partner about this.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
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(in reply to monaslave)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 10:27:12 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

Can a Master(or Mistresses) call their slave for dumb,or other nasty words as humiliation on a ongoing basis? wouldnt that become something negative? Im talking about ltr 24/7 especially and Im not talking about as in play.
Can anything good come out of that? Can you be excused with "I have all the right to call you whatever I like"?
Have you crossed the thin line to abuse?

If it feels like its abuse to you....then it IS abuse... and you should surely talk to your partner about this.



To that I say hogwash  The person that said it may have to clear up some miscommunication meaning or intent but to say it feels therefore it is.  Just aint right.

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to breatheasone)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 10:27:21 PM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		Im speaking in general since the topic was a subject for discussion the other evening. The Dom I was talking to just said if I like to do it,shes gotta put up,done.
But as what I know most women dont like to be called fat fx,day out and day in..  according to him,it was too late to change their mind. Even though if she happened to enjoy it first.

(in reply to breatheasone)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 10:29:31 PM   
monaslave


Posts: 106
Joined: 4/10/2009
Status: offline 		And ..I mean.. even if you happen to enjoy whatever is said, if it is very negative, is it possible your mind wont take it that way, in the long run?? as i can see its a veryy thin line.

(in reply to monaslave)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/4/2009 11:30:27 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave

And ..I mean.. even if you happen to enjoy whatever is said, if it is very negative, is it possible your mind wont take it that way, in the long run?? as i can see its a veryy thin line.

If you are this troubled, and feel like a line has been, or is very close to being crossed, you should talk about it with your partner.


_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to monaslave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 12:19:09 AM   
LadySweetOrSour


Posts: 1415
Joined: 3/21/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

quote:

ORIGINAL: monaslave





To that I say hogwash  The person that said it may have to clear up some miscommunication meaning or intent but to say it feels therefore it is.  Just aint right.

BadOne



Are we allowed to use that word in here? I think hogwash is a bit rich, dontcha know. In fact, I think you should be spanked. Just saying.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 10:17:14 AM   
army101


Posts: 42
Joined: 5/2/2009
Status: offline 		TALK....its a four letter word meaning to communicate! Use it and talk about anything the TWO of you need to talk about.

Esp likes and dis-likes, just dont jump into a BDSM relationship and training with out knowing about each other. Talking before saves a lot of grief later...okay?

(in reply to LadySweetOrSour)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 12:55:40 PM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		If its not part of play then I'd say "no".

(in reply to monaslave)
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 1:40:09 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		lady sourpuss

Lemme get back to you on the whole hogwash deal.....k?

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 2:37:39 PM   
Fitznicely


Posts: 1597
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		Depends on the sub and the intended result...

Far as I'm aware, most can handle some pretty hardcore abuse when scening...but aside from that, it depends what you want to achieve by the namecalling.

Any blow or injury will fade in time. A word that comes across too harsh, or beyond what the person can bear...that can't be taken back.

The four things I tend to bear in mind...

Common sense: Calling a subbie a fucking whore pigslut may be ok in the dungeon/bedroom/home, but maybe not Wal-Mart
Decency: Not so much that you're embarrasing the sub, but yourself - "You kiss your mother with that mouth??"
Respect: I respect my girl for the things she endures in my name, and for the gift of her submission. Therefore I take her limits seriously. If this involves there being certain words that trigger a response that's more extreme than she deserves, I don't use 'em.
Intent: I doubt I'm the only Owner in the world who delivers a good telling off, with a fair sprinkle of personal abuse. It can be a neat lil tool.

_____________________________

I tell you this: No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn
Proud Owner of Darkmoonkat. Such a good girl!

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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 2:41:12 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

Can a Master(or Mistresses) call their slave for dumb,or other nasty words as humiliation on a ongoing basis? wouldnt that become something negative? Im talking about ltr 24/7 especially and Im not talking about as in play.

It may be acceptable for some...but it is not for me.

If i were with a Master who called me fat, i would show him the numbers on a scale...then pat his belly and suggest he lose a few. If he were to call me stupid, i would wave a college degree or two in his face. Call me lazy i would laugh in his face...

In a relationship the partners build each other up..not tear each other down, imho.


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
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RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 3:09:37 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline 		hey holly

What about your momma dresses you funny????  smirkle

BadOne


_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: namecalling slaves? - 5/5/2009 3:22:43 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadySweetAndSour

In fact, I think you should be spanked. Just saying.


quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

hey holly

What about your momma dresses you funny????  smirkle

BadOne



LadySweet.....do you need an assistant? Please?


_____________________________

PICKED UPON
TECHNO-DOLT
MEMBER OF THE SUBBIE MAFIA
GRACEFULLY CHALLENGED :::::splat:::::
BOOT WHORE
VAA/S FAN

GIVES GOOD HEART (Lushy)

CREATOR OF MAYHEM (practice)


(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 20
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