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Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 8:42:07 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
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Today I put my boy in a corset and high heeled boots and he looked really cool. And since he is a thinking kind of boy he said "I have been thinking that it takes a lot of courage for a male to cross dress." And I said, "Well, if you're really driven to cross dress, if you feel like you are making yourself look like you have always wanted to look, then the dressing doesn't take courage. In fact, it must be a pleasure, or even a relief, to abandon the male-ness"

So if you are a cross dresser, or feminized, or think about cross dressing, could you share your thoughts about this? Does it take courage? Are you just happy to be wearing a dress and heels? What do you feel and think when you dress?

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

Post #: 1

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 9:06:35 PM

perverseangelic

Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline

To tell the truth, I think it takes courage for a woman to cross dress as well.

About a year ago, I had my hair buzzed very short. It gave me the oportunity to play with my masculine side more than i had in the past. It was -shocking- to me how negativley this was recieved by the people around me.

So, yeah, I think it takes guts to violate other's ideas of masculinity and femininity.

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 2

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 9:19:54 PM

seaturtle50

Posts: 382
Joined: 12/28/2005
Status: offline

i have not experienced it <well, not in a thousand years anyway> <blushing now> but i would like to say that recently as i think about this, my whole attitude/thought process has changed.

i used to view cross dressing as an opportunity to be close to something that was feminine. That was very alluring to me. Even the smell of such garments <like a corset, or stockings> hold some special power, or so it seems. It was all about the sensations related to femininity to me.

Now however, i see the Woman in a bit of a different light. i see the power of the Domme, and of Femdom, and in some ways the clothing that She may wear is becoming "power gear" - not so much about the femininity (although that aspect is still present) but becoming about an honor to be near those things. To wear them? Not sure about that. I'll have to ask my Domme once She finds and claims me.

So in summation - i am confused

Really need to think about this more. i find the "transition" that i attempted to describe to be very interesting though.

If One wanted to use cross dressing to embarrass or humiliate me - then all she would need do is make me do it in front of her gf's or God forbid <he can't even type the words>. All I can say is that it would likely make me feel … transparent.

st50

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Destiny happens in a moment ... in the blink of an eye.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

Post #: 3

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 10:57:18 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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So if you are a cross dresser, or feminized, or think about cross dressing, could you share your thoughts about this? Does it take courage? Are you just happy to be wearing a dress and heels? What do you feel and think when you dress?

Smythe
==================

well m'Lady. does it take courage? yes. even the most willing. just because, it is what you have desired, and been denied, and now all of a sudden it is granted, you still balk a bit. there ARE vanilla standard thinking processes every normal male goes through...his own morals, values, principles,...especially in front of a woman.
my gawd. here i am. all these pretty things. soft lucious. silky, divine. and all mine to wear. but. do i dare? am i a freak? why would a normal guy wanna be dressed like a girlie.
is there something wrong with me. am i losing it. but but it "calls" to me. i am driven by a craving. a desire. a NEED.
yes m'Lady for some of us. we struggle with ourselves.
it took me a long time, to screw up the courage to go to kmart, walmart, sears, where ever, when ever, how ever, to buy my own.
quick. whats a good story. what do i tell the sales girl? am i macho enough to pull this off and make her believe whatever cock n bull story i dish out.

later
oh to hell with it. no one has asked, so i am not offering. i am 'a' customer. i am 'a' dollar sign. i am just part of the system,..they offer, i buy, like as if they really give a rat's ass. all they want is to move merchandise any way they can.

then you get bold enough. you just stroll in and demand, x, y z, and oh,.,,that r over there.

and you get it all home. all nicely collected. and put it on, little by little. but how do you put it on. does this seam go in back or to the side. does this zipper fit here or look better in back.
what are these two strings inside this skirt hanging down?
is this bra up too far or down too far.

after time, you learn.
--------------that was the courage part.
===========================
am i just happy to be wearing a skirt n heels? ehhh. yes n no. the material is too dark or it is too light colored. it is too long, it is too short. it doesnt look right on my hips, my outfit doesnt go together i screwed up when i got it
no. it is not just the wearing for ME. i WANT to pass AS a normal girl.
==================
what do i think n feel?
i want to BE Her veronica. i want to BE a girl. no guy issues. no GUY thinking.
i WANT to THINK female. FEEL female. BE female
let go of all my worldly guy issues and think feel be womanly.
but then
i am a candidate for tg/ts if i ever GET the chance.

thank You

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 4

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 11:13:04 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

So if you are a cross dresser, or feminized, or think about cross dressing, could you share your thoughts about this? Does it take courage? Are you just happy to be wearing a dress and heels? What do you feel and think when you dress?

Smythe
==================

well m'Lady. does it take courage? yes. even the most willing. just because, it is what you have desired, and been denied, and now all of a sudden it is granted, you still balk a bit. there ARE vanilla standard thinking processes every normal male goes through...his own morals, values, principles,...especially in front of a woman.
my gawd. here i am. all these pretty things. soft lucious. silky, divine. and all mine to wear. but. do i dare? am i a freak? why would a normal guy wanna be dressed like a girlie.
is there something wrong with me. am i losing it. but but it "calls" to me. i am driven by a craving. a desire. a NEED.
yes m'Lady for some of us. we struggle with ourselves.
it took me a long time, to screw up the courage to go to kmart, walmart, sears, where ever, when ever, how ever, to buy my own.
quick. whats a good story. what do i tell the sales girl? am i macho enough to pull this off and make her believe whatever cock n bull story i dish out.

later
oh to hell with it. no one has asked, so i am not offering. i am 'a' customer. i am 'a' dollar sign. i am just part of the system,..they offer, i buy, like as if they really give a rat's ass. all they want is to move merchandise any way they can.

then you get bold enough. you just stroll in and demand, x, y z, and oh,.,,that r over there.

and you get it all home. all nicely collected. and put it on, little by little. but how do you put it on. does this seam go in back or to the side. does this zipper fit here or look better in back.
what are these two strings inside this skirt hanging down?
is this bra up too far or down too far.

after time, you learn.
--------------that was the courage part.
===========================
am i just happy to be wearing a skirt n heels? ehhh. yes n no. the material is too dark or it is too light colored. it is too long, it is too short. it doesnt look right on my hips, my outfit doesnt go together i screwed up when i got it
no. it is not just the wearing for ME. i WANT to pass AS a normal girl.
==================
what do i think n feel?
i want to BE Her veronica. i want to BE a girl. no guy issues. no GUY thinking.
i WANT to THINK female. FEEL female. BE female
let go of all my worldly guy issues and think feel be womanly.
but then
i am a candidate for tg/ts if i ever GET the chance.

thank You

You are mr. "I am not into S&M, I am not kinky, I am 100% vanilla, I am only into service!"

Now you are mr. pantyboy, ready to be transgendered?

Which is it?

You want to BE a girl? And this is NOT a kinky thought? Is wanting to be a girl a "vanilla thing"?

When asked "What turns you on" you said:

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

physically.............nothing.

emotionally........knowing one of my personal convictions have proved right, one more time.

mentally..........knowing i have made an earnest point to someone and they actually understood my point of view...for once.

I don't get it, could you explain this to me again?

==============

yeah
i aint one of your s/m boys...so the physical part of the lifestyle is cold and fruitless to me.

Apparently, you *are* one of the S/m boys. Bigtime. And by this posting you sound like you are hugely into crossdressing.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 5

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 11:38:39 PM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
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to ME it is NOT a kink ..it is just ME...
if that bothers you...get over it.
it is NOT...NOT a friggen sex thing hun
it is me being me

i dont do shit to get off on it

i suppose YOU do but i dont

yeah babes its a vanilla thing..been that way for over 40 gawdamned years deal with it

i dont crossdress to stay male
i do it coz i want to BE female..what didnt you understand?

and you accuse ME of twisting shit?????

yeah right

my ass

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 6

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/3/2006 11:49:30 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

to ME it is NOT a kink ..it is just ME...
if that bothers you...get over it.
it is NOT...NOT a friggen sex thing hun
it is me being me

i dont do shit to get off on it

i suppose YOU do but i dont

yeah babes its a vanilla thing..been that way for over 40 gawdamned years deal with it

i dont crossdress to stay male
i do it coz i want to BE female..what didnt you understand?

and you accuse ME of twisting shit?????

yeah right

my ass

Plenty of people do their "kink" without erections, orgasms or any sexual element to it.

It's still kink.

Crossdressing and wanting to be female is not vanilla. The fact that you do/do not get erection is irrelevant since you've made it clear you don't get erections -- period.

This also is something you desire, crave, want, fantasize about, dream of. You are not a "service only" guy, totally vanilla, who exists only to wash floors.

You aren't a huge anamoly. Your kink is actually really common. That should make you feel better, not worse. You just should consider not trying to label yourself as "totally vanilla" -- that's not what you are. Saying that won't get you any closer to your TG operation, that's for sure.

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 7

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 12:04:55 AM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

It's still kink.

*********no its NOT!

Crossdressing and wanting to be female is not vanilla.
**********yes it IS.. it aint got shit to do with this damned lifestyle. i have wanted this ALL my life...long before this lifestyle was even heard of.

The fact that you do/do not get erection is irrelevant since you've made it clear you don't get erections -- period.
******yes it is. the normal..crossdresser..is in it TO jack off. the tg/ts is in it because their identity is wrong..the head doesnt match the body.

This also is something you desire, crave, want, fantasize about, dream of. You are not a "service only" guy, totally vanilla, who exists only to wash floors.
*******yes..i am. this has ZERO to do with HER............SHE is not a part of this...
what dont you get? i am NOT here..to wear skirts n frills
i AM here however to ONLY do housework.
THAT IS ALL I AM HERE FOR!
nothing more nothing less.
SHE does not SHARE in this.
SHE is in this part of MY world.
NO ONE has been and never WILL be.
this is a part of me that no one else shares..it is my PRIVATE world.
for me and me only.

okay?

i am not one of the jerk offs
i want to be able to match the body to the head.
period
nothing more.
this is NOT a sexual thing...to get off.

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to AAkasha)

Post #: 8

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 2:46:15 AM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

Veronica, the more I learn about transgenderism, the more I talk with those who have changed, are changing, long to change...the more in awe I am of the human spirit.

There is nothing simple about gender, nothing as black and white as an X and Y chromosone would imply. And I can not even begin to imagine the intensity of the struggle one must have when one's inner vision of one's gender and the person they see in the mirror everyday do not seem to reconcile.

About 2 years ago I was fortunate to be allowed to take some photos of a biological male who identified as female. She allowed me to take photos of her in lace thigh-hi stockings, satin thong, heels, and nothing else. She was an athlete and despite her identity as a female had a well-developed male torso.

She hated the photos, because she believed she did not look like a woman, but to this day I look at those photos and become overwhelmed by the beauty of the blending of genders...I know she could not see this beauty, but I will always be grateful that she let me take them. No one else may ever see them, but they will remain precious to me. A testimony to the complexities of human gender.

It takes more than courage to step outside the well-trodden path, it takes moral integrity and an ability to stand up and say "I will not be forced to live a lie".

If only more people had such strength. Do not forget that the truest path is the one that best suits YOU.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 9

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 5:13:50 AM

cloudboy

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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I walked out of a pretty bad movie last night to get a breather and meandered into TRANSAMERICA for about ten minutes. It was a pretty gruesome scene I walked into, namely the fellow having returned to visit his parents as a pre-op TS. For the TS, it was living hell. The mother thought he was ugly and a freak, the sister was flipped out, the father removed.

On some level this black cloud of "what the fuck are you doing" hovers over all males blurring the gender line. So, I'd say a little "courage" is involved --- for one is essentially tip toeing around a boiling cauldron of shame.

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 10

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 5:34:47 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

It's still kink.

*********no its NOT!

Crossdressing and wanting to be female is not vanilla.
**********yes it IS.. it aint got shit to do with this damned lifestyle. i have wanted this ALL my life...long before this lifestyle was even heard of.

veronica is not the first male I have met who just wants to be female but does not identify with the "kinky lifeslyle." For example, at work I am working with a ** year old boy who has known he was meant to be a girl for at least the past 2 years. He is a full cross dresser when allowed to by his mother. Does he know anything of the kinky lifestyle? Absolutely not. Akasha, you may say that this is by definition kinky, but maybe you can see how veronica might not agree, if he is similar to my patient.

Smythe

< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 2/6/2006 11:07:13 PM >

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to veronicaofML)

Post #: 11

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 5:41:35 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seaturtle50

i used to view cross dressing as an opportunity to be close to something that was feminine. That was very alluring to me. Even the smell of such garments <like a corset, or stockings> hold some special power, or so it seems. It was all about the sensations related to femininity to me.

Now however, i see the Woman in a bit of a different light. i see the power of the Domme, and of Femdom, and in some ways the clothing that She may wear is becoming "power gear" - not so much about the femininity (although that aspect is still present) but becoming about an honor to be near those things. To wear them? Not sure about that. I'll have to ask my Domme once She finds and claims me.

st50

st, Thanks for the response. you have touched on another thing about cross dressing that I have never understood...and I have seen others write about it but never got an explanation that works: If Female clothing is either "power clothing" or even symbolic of the female you adore, why is it humiliating to wear? Should be empowering, no?

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to seaturtle50)

Post #: 12

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 5:41:58 AM

sting516

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

So if you are a cross dresser, or feminized, or think about cross dressing, could you share your thoughts about this? Does it take courage? Are you just happy to be wearing a dress and heels? What do you feel and think when you dress?

Smythe

i'm going to preface this by saying that parts of this are new to me...so don't be surprised if it doesn't all make perfect sense...but at this point, it does to me.

on my profile i list forced crossdressing and forced bi as interests...but i really get no thrill out of those acts in and of themself...the appeal i find is in having my manhood stripped away...laid bare, and totally messed with...and it's not something i've looked for on my own...it's about having my manhood taken...by force if necessary.

in my mind, i take it to the extreme, telling myself i'd be willing for castration and/or forced surgery...but in reality, i think that's just an extreme i take it to in my head...but who knows...with my Owner, i know She has the right to do whatever She wants to me...so if She wanted that, which i doubt She does, then yes, it would happen, since She owns me...property has no right to say no.

Just my little take on things...might have gone off track here...but thought this a good place to share that.

sting

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 13

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 5:44:02 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

--- for one is essentially tip toeing around a boiling cauldron of shame.

you should know about tip-toeing around, cloudboy.

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 14

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 6:57:09 AM

tasha_tart

Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

So if you are a cross dresser, or feminized, or think about cross dressing, could you share your thoughts about this? Does it take courage? Are you just happy to be wearing a dress and heels? What do you feel and think when you dress?

Smythe

Speaking for myself, dressing itself requires no courage at all. Going out in the "vanilla" world does take some, though I've found that in a place like Toronto, no one really seems to care.

When I'm dressed, or at least free to dress if I choose, I feel more comfortable with myself. On the other hand, when I absolutely can't (or maybe "won't") dress for any length of time, generally because of extended visits by my children, I feel damn near physically ill.

Dressing is not a sexual thing for me, which avoids those annoying bulges.

It also isn't all about the clothes, makeup, etc.; they aren't an end in themselves. While I very much enjoy that, I am also very comfortable in a t-shirt and sweats. It is very much a state of mind for me.

I don't believe I'm truly transgendered, though I'm not as sure of that as I used to be. I just don't have that "I know I should have been female" belief in my heart. But I'm also pretty sure I'm not 100% standard-issue male either.

Tasha

_____________________________

"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 15

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 6:59:55 AM

tasha_tart

Posts: 385
Joined: 2/20/2004
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

a boiling cauldron of shame.

Isn't that a Johnny Cash song?

Tasha

_____________________________

"Sex without love is an empty experience. But as empty experiences go, it's one of the better ones."...Woody Allen

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 16

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 8:33:57 AM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Smythe

quote:

ORIGINAL: veronicaofML

It's still kink.

*********no its NOT!

Crossdressing and wanting to be female is not vanilla.
**********yes it IS.. it aint got shit to do with this damned lifestyle. i have wanted this ALL my life...long before this lifestyle was even heard of.

veronica is not the first male I have met who just wants to be female but does not identify with the "kinky lifeslyle." For example, at work I am working with a ** year old boy who has known he was meant to be a girl for at least the past 2 years. He is a full cross dresser when allowed to by his mother. Does he know anything of the kinky lifestyle? Absolutely not. Akasha, you may say that this is by definition kinky, but maybe you can see how veronica might not agree, if he is similar to my patient.

Smythe

I just feel the need to point out that "kink" does not have to equal a part of the BDSM or D/s lifestyle, or even be sexual. Many kinks are associated with BDSM and D/s, but not all are - and even those that are normally don't have to be all the time. Vampirism, for example - I know many who are not into BDSM in general, despite the overwhelming power exchange overtones. To them, it's just a kink/fetish - not something that makes them part of the BDSM 'community' or anything requires any sexual activity, nothing beyond the exchange of blood.

Ask a 'vanilla' person - they will tell you that it's kinky, no matter the reasons behind it. If you ask the wrong 'vanilla' person, you may get even more negative words, like sick, freaky, disgusting ... I'm sure that by now we've all heard the variations with regards to whatever kink we are into. It's not "normal" so therefore it is "kinky" ... The problem is that we have all associated kinks and kinky acts with sexual acts for way too long. Kinks do not have to be sexual just because most are to most people.

< Message edited by ModeratorThree -- 2/6/2006 11:08:05 PM >

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 17

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 11:24:12 AM

veronicaofML

Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

a boiling cauldron of shame.

Isn't that a Johnny Cash song?

Tasha

==========

he he
naw
that's ring=of-=fire!

_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"

(in reply to tasha_tart)

Post #: 18

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 12:19:31 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetDommes
I just feel the need to point out that "kink" does not have to equal a part of the BDSM or D/s lifestyle, or even be sexual.

True. Merriam-Webster says

quote:

Pronunciation: 'ki[ng]k
Function: noun
Etymology: Dutch; akin to Middle Low German kinke kink
1 : a short tight twist or curl caused by a doubling or winding of something upon itself
2 a : a mental or physical peculiarity : ECCENTRICITY, QUIRK b : WHIM
3 : a clever unusual way of doing something
4 : a cramp in some part of the body
5 : an imperfection likely to cause difficulties in the operation of something

And for kinky:

quote:

Pronunciation: 'ki[ng]-kE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): kink·i·er; -est
1 : closely twisted or curled
2 : relating to, having, or appealing to unconventional tastes especially in sex; also : sexually deviant
3 : OUTLANDISH, FAR-OUT

So yes, some will interpret transgenderism as kinky, others as a biological condition, still others as a psychological disorder...

Personally, I just consider it one more facet in the fascinating gem that is humankind.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to SweetDommes)

Post #: 19

RE: Courage and Cross Dressing - 2/4/2006 3:27:40 PM

BalletBob

Posts: 1645
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

I love to Dress in Women's things, because they are so much nicer and softer tahn men's clothes. I feel nice when I wear them, and things like Leotards and Tights, even relax me....probably from hugging the body.

As for courage, I only go out Dressed on Halloween, since it does take a little couorage, but is no problem doing it at home. I have a thing for Mary Janes, and wear them all the time and at work too. Now it does take a little courage if I wear White Socks/Tights with them, but overall, I enjoy wearing them, and catching the female eyes to se if they are looking at my feet.

On Hallowen at work, I think they wait to see what I will be dressed as, and I get a lot of complements from women, telling me I have better legs than they do...either dressed as "Britney Spores", a "French Maid" or a "Ballet Parking".

I wish more Mistresses were also into it, and request their Male (or female) Subs, to wear thengs they would like to see on them.

Missing my French Maid's Outfit, BalletBob

< Message edited by BalletBob -- 2/4/2006 3:28:04 PM >

_____________________________

"I get my kicks above the Waistline, Sunshine"

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 20

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