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RiotGirl -> RE: a true love (2/3/2006 11:17:31 PM)
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quote:
wow - have we really bought into the notion that we, as subs/slaves, do not have a right to have needs? That we *must* put them aside, sacrifice them, ignore them or else it is allllllll about us?
maybe you have
Of course we have needs. But its not OUR JOB to look after them. See its supposed to be a double edge sword. Double bladed.. 50/50.. ying yang.. two way street.. you get it right?
See the pont of it all is. Our job is to look after them. Guess what Their job is? You only get ONE guess. Go on.. <hears buzzer> Too late! Their job is to look after, us, thats right, US, not joking, not lying, not yanking your chain, or pulling your leg.
Let me break it down for you. As subs and slaves we give OVER control of ourselves to our Dominants. You might want to have some trust involved before doing so. Entrusting ourselves TO them. i'll get to why eventually. Now here's the thing, they have a "job" or so to speak as well. Though if want to mull over with me the bad usage of the word job applied here we can. Duty doesnt fit either. Not particularly a "job" nor is it a hobby or a volunteer opportunity. Its something they really really want to do. Which i suppose is why they are here. Lets try the word...... commitment. (another trust thing there) They want it bad. Just as much as we want it. Commitment used here has no hand fasting or parades or vows or jellybeans. The commitment is an unspoken one. Though some like to speak it. Its whatever type of water your boat needs to float.
They're commitment is to look after us. Take care of our needs, wants, desires, hungers, thirsts, kinks, and the odd assortment of whatever else we need to be so to speak swell, happy, jiffy and the like.
Which of course saying that we ALL have a commitment to ourselves. This doesnt nill out our basic commitment to ourselves, nor does our commitment to them nil our their commitment to themselves. There are a grand total of 4 commitments going on here. Hope you're keeping up as i am not.
Now this elusive trust thing that i've had you watch 20 commercials before finally getting to the point. We entrust ourselves to them. We entrust our wants, needs, desires, fruit loops, kinks and so on to THEM. i would say, having a good bit of trust involved that they will do RIGHT by these things and yourself is very important. Here's a kicker.. as you entrust.. and give the control over yourself to them.. it us up to Them to decide when the odd assortment of things is done. Ah ha! Which is why its important to "get to know" the other person. Of course if the water you prefer to float yoru boat is hot kinky sex in a motel room or in the bathroom at your house this formula isnt need. Back to your regular programming about subs and slaves.
Test time!
Do we have needs? yes
Whose job in a s/s relationship is take care of our needs? Dominants~
And just incase you're quicker then i am tonight.
Whose job is it to take care of the Dominants needs? Ours!
See it goes both ways. We focus on them.. they're desires.. needs.. wants.. pleasures.. happiness.
while in turn.. you got it.. they focus on us. They take care of us, when they see fit as we have trusted them to do right by us.
learning and growing towards the greater goal of the relationship How beautiful is that?
BUT we get into problems when one party of the party of commitments doesnt fullfill their commitment. Like focusing soley on themselves. Things break down, fall apart, go to pieces, dont do well.. you get it.
And logically speaking, well my logic is speaking.. why would anyone want to start a party of commitments when other parties dont think they should fullfill their commitments? What's the point?
So we swing way back around to a very good point indeed. Why start something with some one that is either A not going to last or B not hold up their end?
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