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What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having one who is Disobiedent?


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What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having one wh... - 2/3/2006 10:59:47 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Mistresses,
Just wondering what would be worse for You?

Not have a Submissive/Slave,
or having one who gets into Trouble alot?

quote:

"You have been chosen to speak, but will You speak what You have chosen?"



Sincerely, Ant
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/3/2006 11:09:41 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Being single is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship.



_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/3/2006 11:13:06 PM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		Ummm..I am not a Domina, but I certainly would
not want to be Disobiedent, sounds scary!

*Brightspot

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 2:46:15 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Being single is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship.


That IS the bottom line!

Depends what the OP ment as disobedient though. If she ment someone who was a bit cheeky, pushed at the bounderys a bit or made mistakes but was trying to make the relationship work then it would be diffrent. But there is a line past which the relationship isn't a healthy one, that line will be in diffrent places for diffrent relationships but once crossed then both people are better off out of the situation.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 4:45:37 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

Mistresses,
Just wondering what would be worse for You?

Not have a Submissive/Slave,
or having one who gets into Trouble alot?


If a sub is getting into trouble a lot, in general, it's usually a combination of the sub's heart not being into this and the Dominant not providing adequate training/structure. Either way, clearly, it's not working well.

For myself, I'd much rather be single than be in a relationship that was more strife ridden than necessary.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 11:09:19 AM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		Interesting question.

I'd rather be without a sub than have one I had to contstantly correct.

If I'm going to bother spending time on a man, he'd better be motivated to please Me, not aggravate Me.

Now, a playful brat who pulls pranks to get paddled or whipped is another matter altogether. I can play out a good prank as well as anyone, as long as I'm not ultimately being manipulated into flogging, caning, punishing to meet HIS needs, on HIS schedule, serving HIS agenda ALL of the time.

It's an intriguiging balancing act. That type of 'play' is only worth the trouble if and when I'm ultimately the one who's satisfied with it. When it gets on My nerves, color him gone.

TM

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 11:11:28 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Mistresses,
Just wondering what would be worse for You?

Not have a Submissive/Slave,
or having one who gets into Trouble alot?

quote:

"You have been chosen to speak, but will You speak what You have chosen?"



Sincerely, Ant



I already have an unmentionable, thank you very much!

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 11:16:28 AM   
ShadeDiva


Posts: 1005
Joined: 3/31/2004
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline 		I don't have a submissive, and I suspect that I won;t for some time.

I'm picky. And my situation means pretty much that the majority of them won't be interested or wouldn't fit.

And I'm okay with that. Personally I'd rather wait for the RIGHT person then get distracted and weighed down by those that I know are NOT right for me - I mean what's the point in barking up a tree that you KNOW is the wrong one?

Just seems like a waste of time and energy to me I guess.

_____________________________

~ShadeDiva
My projects of love:
theFetishForums
HumanFauna
Kinked
DommeWorld

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 2:40:04 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Being single is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship.


That IS the bottom line!

Depends what the OP ment as disobedient though. If she ment someone who was a bit cheeky, pushed at the bounderys a bit or made mistakes but was trying to make the relationship work then it would be diffrent. But there is a line past which the relationship isn't a healthy one, that line will be in diffrent places for diffrent relationships but once crossed then both people are better off out of the situation.


I agree.

The line between healthy and unhealthy can only be decided by the people involved (unless things are out of hand and abuse is happening but still I think it has to truly be the decision of at least one of those people that its unhealthy otherwise they'll just get back together).

For me, when time with that disobedient person becomes tiring or is something I can't look forward to, then it is a signal it has become unhealthy. Also if I'm spending more time thinking of how to get obedience than enjoying myself, it is unhealthy for me.


_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 3:40:31 PM   
HayaSierra


Posts: 119
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
Status: offline 		Greetings,

I would say, having a disobedient one is worse, not because I cannot tame the individual, but because that would make me question his or her consensuality in the issue. If it is merely a case of someone acting up though -- and they are quite visibly there consensually, this CAN and DOES get fixed if they are worth the effort and I'm really intent on having and holding on to that one. But overall, in that case I start considering dropping them because there are more effective things I can spend that time on, including training another and much better behaved slave.

As for disobedience, in face to face such can be fixed in a very short time, online and long distance it takes a little more effort.



_____________________________

Haya Sierra
Haya Of Ka Azdor Estate --
http://groups.msn.com/Domsub/
Basic Information about the Hanian System of D/s

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 10:02:50 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Just wondering what would be worse for You?

Not have a Submissive/Slave,
or having one who gets into Trouble alot?


I prefer my life to be as stress-free as possible, and having a slave whom I would have to be constantly on top of in order to get what I want from him/her is not my idea of stress relief. I'd rather be alone.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/4/2006 11:53:33 PM   
UtahGoddess


Posts: 205
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Utah
Status: offline

No submissive vs disobedient troublesome submissive are the same thing in my book.

Ms Sandi

_____________________________

"The Masochist desires to experience stronger sensations, but desires that it should be inflicted with Love. The Sadist desires to inflict stronger sensations, but desires that it should be felt as Love" Havelock Ellis The Project Gutenberg

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/5/2006 12:29:54 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Being single is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship.


This is like the most important thing I have ever learned in life.
Not just in a BDSM relationship any relationship!
This may sound bitter to people that still believe in “soul mates” and have romantic notions. Yet it’s very true.
The wrong person can cause you all sorts of grief.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/5/2006 12:39:32 PM   
mantis65


Posts: 456
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

The line between healthy and unhealthy can only be decided by the people involved (unless things are out of hand and abuse is happening but still I think it has to truly be the decision of at least one of those people that its unhealthy otherwise they'll just get back together).


In my case it was drugs and she was “only hurting her self” but of course if you have been in a situation with someone like that you learn they are abusing other people.
Number one trust goes out the window. And the relationship is dead after that even if you try to pretend and hope things go back to normal.

I do believe people can change but sometimes it’s better to move on.

As far as willful disobedience isn’t that a breach of trust? I am mean a mistake is one thing but a pattern of it is something to look out for.

Damn I have developed trust issues I guess just ignore me if I sound wrong to you.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/6/2006 9:37:13 AM   
strob


Posts: 100
Joined: 9/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

Mistresses,
Just wondering what would be worse for You?

Not have a Submissive/Slave,
or having one who gets into Trouble alot?

quote:

"You have been chosen to speak, but will You speak what You have chosen?"



Sincerely, Ant



What means getting into trouble? What means disobedient? A domme on this community told me once "I just love when they get disobedient, it gives me more space to do what I might not do with a totally obedient ones".

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/6/2006 10:10:34 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: strob

What means getting into trouble? What means disobedient? A domme on this community told me once "I just love when they get disobedient, it gives me more space to do what I might not do with a totally obedient ones".


That's going to vary by person and relationship I bet to a degree.

Since I am very careful to make my expectations clear about how I want things done, "trouble" and "disobedience" would be more an attitude issue than a physical issue.

Life can cause us problems, that's the way it is, so its reasonable to assume that at some point I might say "do this" and my slave would roll his eyes but do it anyway -- that gets a "stop; what's going on" from me because that isn't normal behavior or expected behavior.

A person who was in "trouble" or disobedient" as in the OP in my world would be someone who is always rolling his eyes or sighing dramatically when doing something. If that continued beyond the initial discussion of 'what's wrong' -- depending on the length of the relationship -- the person would be dismissed or we'd have to do some serious reflecting and working on things.



_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to strob)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/6/2006 10:31:47 AM   
veronicaofML


Posts: 1317
Joined: 11/19/2005
From: from iowa..now in wisconsin
Status: offline 		I already have an unmentionable, thank you very much!
yourMissTress
===================

still the best answer as i see it.

i had 3 wives as bad a damned little kid. just overgrown kids themselves.
seems in MY mind..if i was a male dom...i damned sure wouldnt put up with any crap.
there is no viable reason on erath why any D should have-to put up with any s...that is contstantly in trouble..it becomes all about them...the s...not about the D...where it should be.



_____________________________

drugs sex and rock n roll,...drugs are good and so is the rock n roll, sex is over rated"
=============
"go straight to hell, do not pass go and do not collect $200"



(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What is Worse? Not having a Slave/Sub. Or having on... - 2/8/2006 11:45:08 AM   
Troubleinparadis


Posts: 55
Joined: 2/7/2006
From: Tulsa, Ok
Status: offline 		Hands down, its better to have no slave than it is to have a "slave" who does not want to submit to your wishes/desires.

you can read my post in ask a master (slave/wife nilla) for an glimpse at what an unsubmissive slave can do with a realtionship.....add in a little bit of liar, and a tad of confusion, and a ton of manipulation and well hell yeah,

quote:

Being single is far better than being in an unhealthy relationship.

(in reply to veronicaofML)
Profile   Post #: 18
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